Andrew Schulz thinks Tom Brady was serious, Jerry Seinfeld wanted Chris Rock in Unfrosted

WEBVTT

1
00:00:03.200 --> 00:00:11.519
Callaroga Shark Media. Hello, I'm
Choenni Mack, who with your daily comedy

2
00:00:11.519 --> 00:00:14.880
news. I've been having fun writing
on the Ballance podcast where we make fun

3
00:00:14.919 --> 00:00:19.039
of politics, and Stormy Daniels was
back on the stand. The Late Night

4
00:00:19.079 --> 00:00:23.079
guys had some good jokes. Stephen
Colbert said that was not her first rodeo,

5
00:00:23.160 --> 00:00:25.640
and they would have known that if
they'd seen her movie, My third

6
00:00:25.760 --> 00:00:30.559
Rodeo. Jimmy Kimmel said, Trump's
lawyers spent the day trying to paint Daniels

7
00:00:30.600 --> 00:00:34.320
as a sleazy money grubbing liar,
which, if is true, you can

8
00:00:34.399 --> 00:00:37.280
see why they hit it off.
I love that joke. Fallon tag that

9
00:00:37.399 --> 00:00:42.200
with Trump's attorneys finished their cross examination
of Stormy Daniels and accused her of lying

10
00:00:42.240 --> 00:00:46.000
and hawking merchandise for personal gain,
and Trump was like, this also feels

11
00:00:46.000 --> 00:00:50.240
like a shot at me. Andrew
Schultz says he thinks that John Brady was

12
00:00:50.280 --> 00:00:55.200
actually mad about Jeff Ross making a
Robert Kraft joke. Schultz explained it on

13
00:00:55.240 --> 00:00:58.159
his podcast. I have made some
edits here for language, but you'll get

14
00:00:58.159 --> 00:01:02.679
the gist. When Tom checked Fross, I think that was one undercent real.

15
00:01:03.039 --> 00:01:07.280
Oh yeah, like so Jeff,
So I think it got cut from

16
00:01:07.280 --> 00:01:10.439
the broadcast. I'll tell you also
because the reason why I think it's real

17
00:01:10.439 --> 00:01:14.680
is because they told us no jokes
about happy endings with Bob Crafts. Because

18
00:01:14.680 --> 00:01:18.359
I had a Bob Kraft tag.
I had that joke about Randy Moss.

19
00:01:18.359 --> 00:01:19.120
I was like, Randy Mars,
you made on a Super Bowl Sunday.

20
00:01:19.159 --> 00:01:23.359
It's the only people celebrating a happy
ending with a priest. Oh yeah yeah.

21
00:01:23.640 --> 00:01:27.519
And then the tag was and by
and of course Bob Krafts, and

22
00:01:27.560 --> 00:01:30.439
they were like, Tom asked us
not to do anything with the massage.

23
00:01:30.799 --> 00:01:34.319
I was like, all right,
cool, Like the guy's coming here for

24
00:01:34.359 --> 00:01:37.719
this thing, like whatever, he's
not getting roasted. And then Jeff did

25
00:01:37.719 --> 00:01:40.680
it. And then Tom walks up
and he goes, don't do that again.

26
00:01:41.040 --> 00:01:44.879
But think about it, like this
is the first comic that goes on

27
00:01:45.319 --> 00:01:49.400
a live roast and it's your night. Yeah. He was ready to shut

28
00:01:49.439 --> 00:01:56.120
the whole thing down. Very interesting. I don't see any reason Schultz would

29
00:01:56.120 --> 00:01:59.599
make that up. And like I
said, when it happened, I think

30
00:01:59.599 --> 00:02:02.359
everybody doing a little spin there.
That would have been epic. If Brady

31
00:02:02.359 --> 00:02:06.840
would have hooked that that would have
been monster news. You think to Fleetgate

32
00:02:07.000 --> 00:02:09.439
was big news. Imagine you have
all those comedians there, You're live on

33
00:02:09.479 --> 00:02:14.319
Netflix and Tom Brady throws a tantrum
and storms off his own roast. What

34
00:02:14.360 --> 00:02:16.159
do you do? They might have
just roasted a chair, which could have

35
00:02:16.159 --> 00:02:20.240
been epic. Now that I'm thinking
about that, imagine that one. Jerry

36
00:02:20.280 --> 00:02:23.639
Seinfeld still in the news every single
day. I need a Seinfeld break,

37
00:02:23.680 --> 00:02:27.759
but he keeps making these stories.
Apparently, when he was on with Dana

38
00:02:27.840 --> 00:02:30.639
Carvey and David Spade, he said
he tried to get Chris Rock to be

39
00:02:31.080 --> 00:02:36.000
unfrosted. Jerry said, the other
thing I wanted to do that I almost

40
00:02:36.000 --> 00:02:38.319
did was Chris Rock was gonna be
the MC of the Bowl and Spoon Awards,

41
00:02:38.719 --> 00:02:42.599
and we shot that right after the
Will Smith slap. I was gonna

42
00:02:42.599 --> 00:02:45.400
have somebody come on stage and have
Chris punched him out as they got there.

43
00:02:45.800 --> 00:02:49.159
Recording to Seinfeld, Chris Rock wasn't
up to perform. It was a

44
00:02:49.159 --> 00:02:51.639
little shocked from that event. That's
what the scene is gonna be. But

45
00:02:51.759 --> 00:02:54.280
Cedric saved the day. I love
Cedric. Seinfeld then asked Spade and Carvey

46
00:02:54.280 --> 00:02:58.639
if they thought the bit would be
funny. Carvey said, there's still kind

47
00:02:58.639 --> 00:03:02.439
of a residual darkness around that.
Seinfeld said, isn't that we're attracted to

48
00:03:02.479 --> 00:03:06.520
more than anything, residual darkness.
I don't know if it would have worked,

49
00:03:06.520 --> 00:03:09.800
it was an idea. During the
Yankees broadcast, Paul O'Neill started talking

50
00:03:09.840 --> 00:03:15.319
to his fellow broadcasters about how much
he makes in royalties from the Seinfeld episode

51
00:03:15.319 --> 00:03:19.400
he appeared on in nineteen ninety five. David cohne asked Paul O'Neil if he

52
00:03:19.479 --> 00:03:22.479
still receives residual checks from the sitcom. Paul said, yeah, you know

53
00:03:22.479 --> 00:03:27.159
what they are. They're like fifty
seven bucks. Houston four Yankees three.

54
00:03:27.439 --> 00:03:30.439
John Stewart back with a podcast,
this one called The Weekly Show with John

55
00:03:30.479 --> 00:03:35.159
Stewart, a partnership with Comedy Central. Hopefully it's a way more interesting than

56
00:03:35.199 --> 00:03:37.759
the one he did with Apple,
because that was just I was kind of

57
00:03:37.759 --> 00:03:39.599
boring. John said, After much
reflection, meditation, and prayer, I've

58
00:03:39.599 --> 00:03:44.199
decided to extend my work week to
two days. Speaking of podcasts, I

59
00:03:44.240 --> 00:03:46.960
grabbed the Last Laugh podcast to listen
to Nikki Laser. It's not good.

60
00:03:47.479 --> 00:03:51.800
She's fine, just no chemistry with
the host that they get good guests.

61
00:03:52.000 --> 00:03:54.080
But I don't know about that one
either. I've been quite uncensored in my

62
00:03:54.120 --> 00:03:58.080
opinions lately. Hopefully you're enjoying it
and you're not like what happened to him?

63
00:03:58.080 --> 00:04:00.680
He became a jerk. I'm usually
such a nice guy that anytime I'm

64
00:04:00.719 --> 00:04:03.319
not like one hundred percent nice,
people are like, what's up with you?

65
00:04:03.360 --> 00:04:06.520
Okay? I'm fine. I'm just
telling you I did enjoy a podcast,

66
00:04:08.120 --> 00:04:11.360
and I think John mliney shows misproduced, and Howard Stern became everything he

67
00:04:11.400 --> 00:04:14.879
hated, and Jerry Seinfeld's dating history
is interesting. That's all. I'm fine.

68
00:04:15.800 --> 00:04:17.319
I should read my own rundown.
You're gonna be like, what is

69
00:04:17.360 --> 00:04:20.959
wrong with him? Okay? This
from Fox News. During a recent stand

70
00:04:21.000 --> 00:04:26.000
up show, a comedian roasted an
audience member who reported working for the Biden

71
00:04:26.000 --> 00:04:30.279
administration. I can't believe Fox News. I mean, I can believe Fox

72
00:04:30.319 --> 00:04:34.920
News went with this. It's so
lame. The comedian Josh Ocean Thomas finds

73
00:04:34.920 --> 00:04:39.319
out that the audience member works for
the Biden administration and says, what a

74
00:04:39.360 --> 00:04:42.879
crap show of a job you have? And then listen to this hack joke

75
00:04:43.120 --> 00:04:46.240
hacks. Think this is hack.
Ocean says you work for the Biden administration.

76
00:04:46.560 --> 00:04:48.879
Is it your job to wake him
up? Or what's your job?

77
00:04:49.240 --> 00:04:53.120
Oh my, come on, dude, I'm sure he told it much better.

78
00:04:53.399 --> 00:04:56.399
The crowd liked it exactly. If
you have the freedom to lie,

79
00:04:56.399 --> 00:04:58.439
it could have said you were a
hooker and I would have been prouder of

80
00:04:58.439 --> 00:05:00.600
you. All right, that's not
bad, Rife, Yeah, he's back.

81
00:05:02.000 --> 00:05:06.279
During his sold out Hollywood Bowls show
on Wednesday, much of his stand

82
00:05:06.319 --> 00:05:11.720
upset revolved around what kind of jokes
are okay and not okay? After making

83
00:05:11.759 --> 00:05:15.759
a few jokes about transgender people,
can you all stop comedians? Just do

84
00:05:15.920 --> 00:05:18.319
something else? Rife said, what
am I gonna do? Get canceled?

85
00:05:18.399 --> 00:05:21.759
Cool? I'll do another bull show? Awesome. You know that's not a

86
00:05:21.759 --> 00:05:27.079
real punishment. Nothing happens. Prison's
a punishment. Rife then went into prison

87
00:05:27.160 --> 00:05:31.759
jokes and addressed his controversial domestic violence
joke head on. He did some crowd

88
00:05:31.800 --> 00:05:36.120
work that involved talking to an audience
member who apparently served time for assaults.

89
00:05:36.240 --> 00:05:40.480
Rife said, Mammy, okay,
asking the man's date. Guys, I'm

90
00:05:40.519 --> 00:05:44.279
kidding. Domestic violence is not funny
ever. Ever, on any comedy special.

91
00:05:44.319 --> 00:05:46.519
Ever, towards the top of the
sets, he made a joke about

92
00:05:46.519 --> 00:05:49.759
that whole thing with the helmets.
Riife said, I got so much trouble

93
00:05:49.759 --> 00:05:53.399
for making a joke about special needs
helmets. Then I come to LA and

94
00:05:53.439 --> 00:05:58.000
perform in the biggest helmet, referring
to the Hollywood bowls around structure. Hah.

95
00:05:58.600 --> 00:06:00.360
During the show, at one point
smoked a joint with a sixty eight

96
00:06:00.399 --> 00:06:04.720
year old woman. Matt Riife is
twenty eight. Jimmy Carr got into This

97
00:06:04.800 --> 00:06:09.639
story is probably about a week old
now as you've been listening. There's just

98
00:06:09.680 --> 00:06:13.240
been so much going on ITV viewers
were furious, and they took to Twitter,

99
00:06:13.560 --> 00:06:16.439
slamming comedian Jimmy Carr for his disruptive
behavior on the set of the daytime

100
00:06:16.519 --> 00:06:20.879
show This Morning. Not did it
happen this Morning? That's the name of

101
00:06:20.920 --> 00:06:24.680
the show. The show is called
This Morning. Jimmy Carr was due for

102
00:06:24.720 --> 00:06:28.800
a chat with Alison Hammond and Dermot
O'Leary, but carefully watched Irish chef and

103
00:06:28.839 --> 00:06:32.439
author Clauda McKenna in the show's kitchen
before he had to answer the presenter's questions.

104
00:06:32.839 --> 00:06:38.240
While Clauda expertly tended to a chicken
carcass. She recommended viewers set in

105
00:06:38.279 --> 00:06:42.040
a saucepan. Jimmy joked, what
have you not got a bin? The

106
00:06:42.160 --> 00:06:45.399
chef kept her composure. Jimmy kept
going, pop in the bin. It's

107
00:06:45.439 --> 00:06:48.240
gone. The chicken is gone.
Boy, this is like Taylor Swift joke

108
00:06:48.360 --> 00:06:53.319
level mean. Jimmy then proceeded to
mock the chef as she boasted the flavor

109
00:06:53.319 --> 00:06:56.040
of a chicken broth. Jimmy said, listen to this. This is worse

110
00:06:56.079 --> 00:07:00.680
than Joe cooy ever did wait until
she finds out about stock cubes who shivy

111
00:07:00.839 --> 00:07:04.959
core back it down vicious. Clauda
went on Instagram both of a selfie with

112
00:07:05.040 --> 00:07:09.480
the host but not Jimmy Carr and
captured it. One chicken, three recipes,

113
00:07:09.600 --> 00:07:14.160
one Jimmy Carr. I'm officially ready
for the weekends. Oh yeah,

114
00:07:14.360 --> 00:07:17.560
Happy Mother's Day. It is the
final day of the Netflix is a joke

115
00:07:17.720 --> 00:07:23.920
comedy festival. Gotta say they had
a killer festival. They're doing that roast

116
00:07:23.920 --> 00:07:28.800
battle thing outside. Tonight's guest judges
Jeff Ross and Sarah Silverman. Seven o'clock

117
00:07:28.879 --> 00:07:32.879
killed Tony again, Ali Wong again
at seven Dmitri Martin at seven, a

118
00:07:32.959 --> 00:07:36.759
screening of Terminator two. Not sure
how that fits in with this, but

119
00:07:36.839 --> 00:07:42.879
okay. Mosha Casher at seven,
Colin Quinn at eight, Fern Brady at

120
00:07:42.959 --> 00:07:47.600
nine forty five. I almost watched
The Fern Brady on Netflix on Thursday night.

121
00:07:48.279 --> 00:07:51.000
I was just sleepy. I went
to BET at nine on Thursday.

122
00:07:51.199 --> 00:07:55.040
That's why I'm not watching John Millenia
ten. I went to BET at nine,

123
00:07:55.480 --> 00:07:58.040
but I was up at five thirty. So there, it's still eight

124
00:07:58.040 --> 00:08:01.040
and a half hours sleep. Johnny
Duts's on a good humble brag. You're

125
00:08:01.120 --> 00:08:05.319
right. Eight pm at the Comedy
Store, secret headliner and a bunch of

126
00:08:05.519 --> 00:08:11.399
just addeds. Why nine o'clock just
added Bill Bellamy. Nine thirty just added

127
00:08:11.439 --> 00:08:16.319
All Star Comedy. Seven o'clock just
added Todd Glass, just added Ian Edwards,

128
00:08:16.800 --> 00:08:18.560
just added nine to forty five,
Ariel Olias. Why were you suddenly

129
00:08:18.560 --> 00:08:22.319
adding a bunch of shows on Sunday
night? Nine five just added Brian Postsin.

130
00:08:22.879 --> 00:08:24.879
All right, if you and I
were there, Well, we've seen

131
00:08:24.959 --> 00:08:28.759
kil Tony already, right theoretically,
so early show, let's do Dmitri.

132
00:08:28.920 --> 00:08:33.519
Late show, Let's do Brian Possain
that's kind of alty. And now I

133
00:08:33.559 --> 00:08:37.320
get to delete the bookmark, which
makes me really happy because the more bookmarks

134
00:08:37.360 --> 00:08:41.720
you have pinned, the slower your
browser gets. So close tab Great job

135
00:08:41.799 --> 00:08:46.120
Netflix, at Great Job Robbie pra
Mondays at the Sydney Comedy Festival are light

136
00:08:46.159 --> 00:08:50.639
to the only thing is the Sydney
Comedy Festival Showcase at the Bondai Pavilion.

137
00:08:50.679 --> 00:08:52.759
I'd rather go just hit on Bondai
Beach. Did that one day when I

138
00:08:52.799 --> 00:08:56.519
was down there. Oh amazing,
Water's cold though. All right, I'm

139
00:08:56.519 --> 00:09:00.320
gonna wrap it up here because I
have the house to myself, but everyone's

140
00:09:00.320 --> 00:09:03.039
going to come home soon and I
want to bang out Monday's episode while it's

141
00:09:03.120 --> 00:09:03.960
quiet. So that's it. See
you tomorrow.