Oct. 6, 2026

Bert Kreischer’s Tom Cruise Secrets

Show Notes
Transcript

Johnny Mac covers comedy news including Bert Kreischer claiming Tom Cruise has his life meticulously scheduled, with edited sports in the gym and food and a steaming shower ready after workouts, while Kreischer says Cruise’s beliefs don’t bother him. Seth Meyers says he wants to keep hosting NBC’s Late Night beyond his current contract ending after the 2027–2028 season, though the host argues for making 12:30 “wacky” again and promotes his audio series Is Late Night Dead? Dane Cook tells Deadline about joking onstage about his brother stealing money, turning down an SNL audition, and wanting a career reset. Nikki Glaser and David Spade announce four Caesars Palace dates labeled a residency. Whitney Cummings defends Taylor Swift’s new tracks. Futurama ends Season 14 with three Hulu specials coming in 2027, including a Robot Santa story. The Sun reports James Acaster grew anxious during Celebrity Traitors UK filming and production paused.

00:13 Bert Kreischer Tom Cruise Secrets
01:12 Seth Meyers Future at Late Night
02:10 Make 1230 Great Again Rant
02:47 Is Late Night Dead Podcast Plug
03:13 Dane Cook Brother Theft Jokes
04:06 Dane Cook SNL Audition Regret
05:05 Dane Cook Career Reflection Reset
05:58 Vegas Residency PR Spin
06:32 Whitney Cummings Defends Swift
07:37 Futurama Finale And Specials
09:47 James Acaster Traitors Kerfuffle
10:51 Wrap Up And Sign Off

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Hello, I'm Johnny Mac with your daily comedy news. Burt

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Kreischer claims to have the secrets of Tom Cruise. Burt

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was on the Two Bears, One Cave podcast. Rob Lowe

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was sitting in for Tom Segura that day. That's a

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pretty good upgrade, actually. And the topic turned to Tom Cruise.

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Burt said his life is fascinating. I can't say how

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I know this, but he has everything planned out to

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a T. He has a person who trims down F1

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and soccer so that in the gym, they've cut out

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all the commercials and all the highlights so we can go, oh,

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this race is great. And he sees the best race

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that he's ever seen. And then Tom Cruise works out.

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And then as Tom Cruise works out, they're like, TC

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is coming to D. Yeah, get his food ready. And

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he walks into the room, food's ready, and the shower

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is already steaming. Like, everything's planned out. I find that

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pretty fascinating about Tom Cruise. Then they got into some

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of Tom Cruise's belief system. Burt said, That doesn't bother me.

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Whatever you find solace in. Burt did not share how

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he has this inside information about someone steaming the shower

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for Tom Cruise. This is just terrible news. Seth Meyers

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wants to keep posting late night past 2028. Now, unfortunately...

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He's contracted to host the show. That doesn't mean NBC

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couldn't buy him out. Make 1230 great again. But Seth

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wants to keep doing that show to the 90,000 or

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so people between 18 and 49 that watch it every night.

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Seth Meyers was asked by Will Arnett where he sees himself,

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Seth Meyers, five years from now. Seth Meyers said, I

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would love to say in five years from now. I'm

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still doing Late Night. I'm not tired of it at all.

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I really, really enjoy it. Late-nighter did the math and

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points out five years would take Seth Meyers past the

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end of his current contract, which he signed in 2024,

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and keeps him behind the late-night desk through the end

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of the 2027-2028 season. Seth said, I think what I've

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done at late night will be the stuff that will

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help me figure out a great many things, and ultimately

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the problem or fear I had leaving SNL was like, oh,

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I'm so worried my next job's going to be boring,

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and this one isn't.

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Yeah.

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You sure? You sure? It's not boring. Maybe it's not

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boring to Seth. He says he has no plan B,

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but I say to you, people of America, let's make

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1230 great again in the tradition of late night with

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David Letterman and late night with Conan O'Brien. Forget about

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the Fallon years. Don't bring that up, John. In the

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tradition of those two great shows, let's make 1230 great again.

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We need a host who can bring the wacky and

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bring the fun, and we are not getting that at 1230.

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Seth Meyers, let him do a show on, like, I

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don't know, let him do a show on Peacock. That'll

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be fine. The Peacock show with Seth Meyers, you guys

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can watch that. He can do day drinking and closer

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look and all that nonsense. I want Chris Fleming on

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there being weird and wacky. Make 1230 great again. Speaking

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of late nights, have you checked out my new sister series,

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Is Late Night Dead? That is a new audio podcast.

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Last week, we took a look at 1230 Letterman. This

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week on Sunday, we'll take a look at 1130 Letterman.

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Not as great as 1230 Letterman. We'll get into that

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on this week's show. Is Late Night Dead? Wherever you

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found this podcast, you'll find that podcast. Please hit the

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follow button. Probably not going to be an episode about

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Seth Meyers. Don't worry about it. Dane Cook caught up

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with Deadline. You know, Dane's got the whole thing with

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his brother and the documentary and all that. Deadline was curious. Hey,

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Dean Cook, have you talked through any of this on stage?

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As a comic, it must have been important to learn

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to laugh at the situation, huh? Dean Cook said, one

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of the first things I said on stage about it was,

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some of you guys might have heard that my brother

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stole this money from me. He was a corrections officer

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at a maximum security prison before I asked him to

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quit and come work with me and for me at

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my company. You know, I hired him to protect my money,

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not help but escape. Dean obviously told it better. Dane said,

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That was the first time I joked about it, and

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I got a pleasant laugh. Maybe he didn't tell it better.

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But it was really more about me going, This is

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a scarlet letter on me, and I have to start

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sharing this. The first times I talked about it publicly

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was probably 2014, 15. I only did it for a

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little bit. Then I pulled back because I thought, I

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don't think people really know the story or understand it,

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to even laugh at it. I also didn't think I

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was ready to find the humor in it publicly, even

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though Courtney and myself and my friends, I was able

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to find humor and entertainment in other ways. Deadline switched topics.

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I thought this was interesting. The question, in terms of

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your career, Dane Cook, it was interesting to hear that

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you psyched yourself out of an audition at SNL. Do

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you regret that? Dane said, no way. At the time, sure.

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They were really fighting. They were bringing me in personally.

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SNL producers, they were teeing me up potentially for it.

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Would I have gotten it? I don't know. There were

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other incredible people going in that day, but everything behind

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the scenes was like, Dane's perfect. This kid's perfect. And

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when I said no that day at Rock Plaza... I

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know the bench I was sitting on. I walked by

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it many times since. Sitting there with tears coming out

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from underneath my Ray-Bans. Did I regret it? A couple

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years later, I remember being out on the road somewhere

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and being like, oh no, what did I do? But

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I was stressed in my gut. I just knew it

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was going to be okay. That there was something else

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that I can't see yet, but I'm working towards. So

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when Lorne Michaels called me all those years later and said,

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we want your fans watching on the show, I was like,

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now I get both. I get to do my dream,

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but I'm the producer of my own career. I get

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to be my own Lorne Michaels. I get to break

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bread with one of my heroes and a friend, Lorne Michaels,

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and do the show. They asked Deadline to look back

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on the rise of his comedy career. Dane said, I'm

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filled with pride, with deep, deep gratitude that I got

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to show, in particular my mom, that the kid that

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was last picked is going to entertain the world. She

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used to say, I think you can entertain the whole world, Dane.

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And I believed her. It's the 10,000 hours I put

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on the road somewhere. And then all these people come

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in and help you fortify your dreams. When I look

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back at that era, the only thing where I have

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a little bit of pang is the momentum of what

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I thought my career was and should be at the time.

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I felt like I flipped. I careened off the side

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of the road and I was so disheartened by that

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because I love what I do and I wanted it

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to expand. That was off track for a few years.

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And I'd like to believe that when people see this,

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the documentary, it's just remembering I'm a guy that likes

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to deliver. I always want to bring a good idea

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or a better idea to the table. And by the way,

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if you have a good or better idea than my idea,

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then we do that. I'm a workhorse and I love it.

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I love to collaborate and I'm ready to reset in

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terms of how you think I am. Whatever preconceived notion,

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the Dane train, as we lovingly call it, when you

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probably first discovered my MySpace. I just want to be

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back in motion and continuing to make things and entertain

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my friends around the world. Nikki Glaser and David Spade

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have Good BR People, the headline, they're bringing their comedy

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residency back to Las Vegas. Now, to me, a residency

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is like when you do like a lot of shows

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at one location, like you're U2 and you set up

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at the Sphere and you do like 40 shows together. Well,

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the Nikki Glaser David Spade residency at the Caesars Palace

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Coliseum has a total of four dates, January 22nd and 23rd,

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and then April 16th and 17th. So the residency is

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two weekends, four months apart. That's not a residency, but

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well done, PR people. Whitney Cummings is sticking up for

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Taylor Swift. Now... When I think of Taylor Swift, I

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don't know about you, I always think about that time

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Jo Koy told this just horrible, mean joke about her.

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Do you remember when that happened? Here, let me remind you.

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As you know, we came on after a football doubleheader.

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The big difference between the Golden Globes and the NFL,

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on the Golden Globes, we have fewer camera shots of

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Taylor Swift.

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Anyway, recently, Taylor Swift released The Life of a Showgirl,

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the encore, adding four new tracks to her not very

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good 2025 album. And the fans are killing Taylor Swift

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over them. They hate them, especially the song Cleveland. Whitney

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Cummings took to social media and defended Cleveland. Whitney said,

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we know what she's capable of. Why not let her

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do a lighthearted ditty? Cummings said she enjoyed listening to

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Cleveland and not worrying that she has internal bleeding from

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a broken heart. Whitney said, maybe Taylor just wanted to

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give us a song where we didn't have to study

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the periodic table and completely memorize pi in order to

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unlink the map. She is confident Taylor Swift will come

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up with another, you know, Mensa bop. Is Futurama dead?

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It's never dead. It wrapped up season 14 on Hulu.

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There are no plans for it to return as a

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regular series. However, not dead yet. There are three supersized

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Hulu specials still to come. Matt Groening told Variety they

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could put us in a coffin. They can nail the

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lid shut, but they can't bury us. We will rise again.

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I guess I'm not too worried. You see, Futurama first

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premiered on Fox in 1999 and ended on Fox in 2003.

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Then Comedy Central brought it back in 2008, and that

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wrapped in 2013. Then, ten years later, it came back

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on Hulu in 2023. Each time it looked like the

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series was ending, the producers prepared an episode that could

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double as a series finale, only for the show to

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come back. That's why the producers had fun with this

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year's finale. The season 14 ender was given the title,

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Final Ending, The Last Conclusion. Spoiler, Fry and his brother

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sneak into a PG-13 movie as kids with shocking consequences

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for the future. Groening said, I think we have a

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whistling past the graveyard attitude these days because we've been

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in this situation many times before. We have lots more

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stories to tell. The animators and the actors and the

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writers would all love to do more stories. We'll see.

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You never know. However, there are the three specials dubbed

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XXXL-sized announced at Comic-Con. They're currently in production. They'll be

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out in 2027 with a Christmas-related installment. So I guess

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we've got to wait about a year, unless you're going

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to put out a Christmas episode in February. Groening said,

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the people at Hulu Disney were saying, hey, give us

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some big stories that we can promote. And we said, gotcha.

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So these three that are coming up are kind of

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epic stories and they're promotable. The nature of these stories

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in general for Futurama and also The Simpsons is that

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each episode could be a movie. I mean, we pack

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enough melodrama and shenanigans in every episode to stretch it out.

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It's just fun to tell a bigger story, but also

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to take the time to breathe a little bit. As

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for the Christmas episode, spoilers, Robot Santa will return. Matt said,

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our version of Christmas, of course, is with Robot Santa.

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which back in the day was very controversial because our

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robot Santa thought he was Santa, but he thought everyone

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was naughty, so he would go around trying to kill everyone.

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That was not considered in the Christmas spirit. At first,

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there was some talk about not running the shows. It

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was very controversial, but now everyone's figured it out. It's

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all in good fun. Ya think? Now, what if Futurama

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doesn't come back, Matt said? If it doesn't happen, we'll

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do something else. Love it. A kerfuffle over at the

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Celebrity Traders UK, the newspaper, The Sun. I always like

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to say the newspaper, The Sun, unless you think like

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a star that the planet orbits is putting out news. No,

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this is a newspaper, The Sun. reported that James Acaster

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became so distressed during filming of Celebrity Traders UK that

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his fellow contestants and production staff intervened to halt recording.

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A source revealed to The Sun, which is a newspaper,

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the show is incredibly intense, and during one particular scene

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at the castle, James Acaster became very anxious and panicked.

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Some of the other celebrities on the show spoke up

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and said cameras should stop rolling so he can calm down.

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Production agreed. Everyone looks out for each other. A spokesperson

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for the Celebrity Traitors UK said, The Traitors is a

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unique and immersive game, and we recognize that taking part

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can be intense at times. Now our highest priority is

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always the safety and welfare of everyone taking part, etc, etc.

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A caster was asked why he signed up for Celebrity Traders.

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He said, I just love it. I'm a huge fan.

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I've been watching since series one. I instantly got addicted

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to it when I started watching. I think I started

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watching it halfway through the first series. I was catching

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up on iPlayer. I did all of it in one

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night and I got really frustrated. I had to wait

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for other episodes. And that is your comedy news for today.

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Catch you tomorrow.