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Caloroga Shark Media.
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Conan O'Brien addressed what's up with his hair? Hello from poolside.
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I'm Johnny Mack with your daily comedy news. It is
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seventy one degrees, Sonny out. The humidity's fifty five to
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do points like fifty three, one of the top ten
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days you're going to get. So we are not sitting
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in a basement today when we can do this outside
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with this cadas, the birds, the pool, the dogs, and
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the landscapers. You may recall people were wigged. Well that's
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a bit of a pun. People were wigged that Conan
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O'Brien had slicked back hair. Conan addressed the situation. He
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told a long version of the story on his podcast.
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I started to pull the audio from it, it would just
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take too long to get to it, so let me
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just tell you what he said. He was invited to
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the opening of the Obama Museum. He realized the opening
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would be held outside, He put some sunscreen on his
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face and went about his day. Conan explains, it's three
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hours plus and when it's over, I'm so glad that
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I put the sunblock on, and I'm feeling really good
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about myself, like smart move. He goes over to talk
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to some fellow guests who he called bright red, like
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Stephen Colbert and David Letterman. He said those gentlemen looked
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like they had been playing in a sandbox with plutonium. However,
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Conan says, a day or two later after the event,
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I feel like my skull is on fire. And then
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two days after that, my scalp is really itchy, and
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whenever I itch it, it looks like a snow globe, it
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looks like confetti. White freckled Confetti's pouring off my head.
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It's disgusting. He was confused, he thought he was going crazy.
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Someone let him know he had a scalp sunburn. Conan said,
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I'm not used to that because I've got so much hair,
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but this sun just blasted right through my hair, roasted
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my scalp, and someone said, to treat this, you have
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to rub oil into it. So this morning I rubbed
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oil into it, not thinking about the podcast when we
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went on camera, and then I come in and I
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look like I'm in Shanta Na. I'm a grease ball.
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I'm so greasy. I'm Frankie Valley. We'll see if it
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goes back to the pompadoor. We'll keep it at twelve thirty.
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Make twelve thirty great against. Seth Myers has been bashing
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the President of the United States. Now, the President and
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I don't agree on all the issues, but one of
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the issues we do agree on is making twelve thirty
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great again. We need to get back to the days
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of Letterman and Conan. And yet Seth Myers has a
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show for some reason, and Seth was mocking the commander
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in chief for staying on stage during the World Cup.
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The New York Post has brought this to my attention.
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Apparently Seth took issue with a truth social post from
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the President of the United States in which the President
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praised Andrew Giuliani, who is the White House's point person
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for the tournament and coincidentally, the son of Rudy Giuliani.
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That doesn't mean Andrew wasn't the perfect person to run
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these things. He just happens to have a famous father. Anyway,
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I digress. Trump thanked the younger Giuliani for elevating the
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World Cup to a level that nobody thought was possible.
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Seth Myers, who has a show at twelve thirty for
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some reason, said all right, calm down. It was already
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the biggest sporting event in the world. It's not like
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he sold seven million pickleball tickets. Myers also made fun
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of Trump's comments during a pregame interview before the World
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Cup final. The President said Ronaldo has a much easier
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life and that he'd like to trade places with the
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soccer star for a month or so. Seth Meyer said,
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or longer. You ever watched Ronaldo like run full speed
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up and down a soccer pitch and you're like, this
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guy doesn't worked as hard as President Trump. Seth Myers
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also suggests that President Trump is a sports reaper because
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when he attends games, the teams he's rooting for lose.
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I do like this joke, though, Seth said, They're going
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to have to sage MetLife Stadium to get the hecks out,
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otherwise the Jets might have a bad season. Love It
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Jimmy Kimmel's Old Variety. The ratings are very strong, which
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we are very grateful to CEBs for their wisdom. We
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were doing pretty well before that, but that really helped that.
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Of course, is the ending of The Late Show with
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Steven Colbert, which nobody talks about it anymore. Except Jimmy Kimmel.
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Kimmel told Variety asked Colbert if it liked to guest
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host the Kimmel Show. Colbert politely declined. Jimmy said, of course.
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I asked him, and I think it feels premature, but
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I told him anytime you want to host it, it
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doesn't matter if it's the summer, I'll gladly step aside.
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Jimmy Kimmel was out promoting celebrity Millionaire. I guess people
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watch this stuff. I'd rather watch civilians than celebrities. Some
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of the celebrities are Colin Jostin, Michael Shay. Kimmel said,
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I don't really know those guys. I learned that Michael
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is very decisive and Colin is not, and in a
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battle of the decisive and indecisive, the indecisive always wins.
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Colin was really weighing things out in general on Millionaire.
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Whatever your first thought is is probably the right answer,
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unless you really have no idea. But people have a
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tendency to blurt out what they think is the answer,
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and then they take a long time talking themselves out
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of that correct answer, and usually they'll come back to
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the correct answer, but sometimes they talk themselves out of it.
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In an unrelated clip, Colin jos explained how to pronounce
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his wife's name. I didn't know, we didn't know how
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to pronounce it. But here's Colin Jost telling us the
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proper way to say Scarlett Johansson.
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How do you.
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Pronounce your wife's last name?
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Is it Joe Hanson or Yo Hanson? I don't know.
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I've never met her in person yet, but so I
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want to hear how she says it Johansson. I mean
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I certainly say Johansson. I mean I don't say it
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really ever, but.
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Yo, Joe Hanson.
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Why is the fridge empty? But it was originally she's Danish.
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I think her family is kind of a mix, probably
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kind of went back and forth a little bit between
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Denmark and Sweden. So it was definitely it was Johannes
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Johanssen probably originally, and I was probably Yost in Germany.
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But now that's all along forgotten. So we all we
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changed together, All ancestors coordinated, and so let's get them together.
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Are you with Michael Chang? I didn't say you can
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have a second question.
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Did you see the Howie Mandel impersonator on America's got talent. Yeah.
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A guy came out dressed as Howie Mandel. He called
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himself Howard Michael Lando. Simon Cowell asked why. From the sidelines,
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Terry Crews said this is disturbing. Before Howard Michael Lando
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could do his act, meil Be reached across the judges
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table and hit all four red buzzers. The audience protested
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and pleaded with the panel to give a fake Howie
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Mandel a chance for lunch today.
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I couldn't decide if I wanted a pickle with my
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sandwich or not. I was like dil or no dil.
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He then did a second joke, which was if I
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was on a farm, I'd be Cowie Mandel. Definitely time
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to hit the buzzer and Melb said that was not good.
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She asked the audience did anybody laugh? They went to
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the vote. All the judges said no, fake Cowie Mandel
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said that's fair. Good night. Bob Marley caught on fire
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and first of all, this is comedian Bob Marley. I've
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worked with Bob a little bit over the years. I
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remember one time he was trying to set the record
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for longest comedy set up. I can't remember if he
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has the record now, or if Chappelle does, I could
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look it up, and I'm too lazy. I think Marley
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does because we broadcast the whole thing live on satellite
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radio a million years ago. Anyway, he goes by comedian
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Bob Marley, so you don't think he's the reggae guy.
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And then in the computers we always had a label
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at comedian Bob Marley. Otherwise his stuff was really difficult
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to schedule because you'd want to schedule a comedy record.
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He'd accidentally schedule. I shot the sheriff. You don't want
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to do that. Comedian Bob Marley caught on fire. He
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was forced to dive into the lake by his camp
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when a sweatpants caught on fire. John, we all heard
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your chuckle during the story. Do you think it's funny
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that Bob Marley caught on fire? Apparently you do. We
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heard the chuckle. Don't edit it out. You cowered. What happened?
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Bob was making s'mores. He was cooking with Uncle Jimmy,
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and one of Uncle Jimmy's s'mores got overcooked. Bob Marley
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went to rescue his seventy nine year old uncle Jimmy's
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s'more from the fire, and the blaze jumped from the
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fire to the sweatpants. Uncle Jimmy said, Bobby, your leg's
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on fire. Bob Marley said, I know, Jimmy. Oh see,
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this is why I love recording outside. I'm deliberately doing
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this for the randomness. Do you hear that? I don't
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know if you can hear that, but again, I'm in
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my backyard. No one's doing anything wrong. You're not supposed
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to record your podcast Poolside, John, You're supposed to record
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it in a basement like losers do. Anyway, the neighbor
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is now having his generator serve, so that's why you
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hear the generator noise. I'm leaving all this in. That
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is the beauty of Poolside. This is why you work
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for yourself. I could be trapped in an office in
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New York City staring out the window, going it's seventy
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one degrees out in sunny, and I'm trapped in this office.
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So we're gonna put up with the generator guy. I digress.
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Before all that happened, you may recall Bob Marley was
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on fire. Uncle Jimmy said, Bobby, your leg's on fire.
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Marley said, I know Jimmy Bob Marley jumps in the lake,
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and he explains when I was in the water, I
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took off my sweatpants and my shirt and put them
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on the doc to dry, and then I got up
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on the docks, standing there in my underwear. Then I
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see a pontoon boat coming toward me with three one
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hundred and ten year old ladies on it. One of
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them asked me, Bob, are you standing there in your underwear?
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And Marley said yes, I am. Okay, I actually put
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a note in this week's show to remember to promote
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the Weekly Comedy Thing. It was pointed out to me
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in the Facebook group Daily Comedy News Podcast Group that
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I never remember to promote it. What is this weekly
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Comedy Thing? John? Okay. There's an app it is called
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Live One where you can listen to music and the
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comedy stations. I program the comedy station so you can
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listen to comedy. The app is free. All this is free.
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You can just do this for free. And then on
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Sundays I published a show called The Weekly Comedy Thing,
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which kind of sort of overlaps with this show. Now
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this is where I can do long form versions of
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the stories, and on the weekly comedy thing, I'm more
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of a jock, so I'm trying to keep the story
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super tight. But over there I can actually play the
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comedy clips. So if I tell you say, Mark Maren's
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going to be at a film festival, I can play
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Mark Maron after it. If you're into you discovering new comedians,
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some of the newer comedians you'll hear this week on
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the show Ali Hassan, Tom Staid, Kyle Gordon, and Whitmer.
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Thomas also got some Bob Marley in there. You know
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why the story I just told you, except on that show,
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I tell the twenty second version of it. It is
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the final day of Just for Laughs Montreal. It wasn't
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much buzz this year. At five o'clock today May Martin
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is recording a Netflix special and again at eight thirty,
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we'll keep the best take. There only two other shows,
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Raffy Bostos is at Club Soda at seven and Lucy
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Dorling at seven. That's kind of it. I mean, I'm
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glad the festival's back, but Netflix says stolen their corner,
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as they say in Montreal, because zat they want to
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hit the nasty show. During the comedian CP talked to
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the gazette and said, this is a very smart comedy crowd.
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As a comedian, that's one of the most important things
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that your audience understands how to be an audience. It's funny.
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Some people are intimidated by the French, but then you
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come and they have a high ballot for comedy. Also,
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they're not sensitive. They understand a lot of jokes derive
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from inappropriate places and they love that. We are told
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CPS cartoon like Cadence echos the early days of M
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and M, with whom CP's uncle Trick Trick is a
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frequent collaborator. The essence of Slimshady can be found throughout
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his high energy, envelope pushing storytelling, which covered everything from
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some dirty stuff I don't want to get into, and
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some more dirty stuff I don't want to get into,
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and then a third thing that's kind of dirty that
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involved the wildfires and the words squirting. You figured out
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it is the nasty show after all, John, what do
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you think was gonna happen? Ontario's Rebecca Reid came in
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and told some jokes about various private parts. Really good
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punchline here, but I can't set it up for you.
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Go to the Montreal Gazette to read it. Meanwhile, at
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the Culture Show, Dave mer Hedge was your host. He
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told Cult MTL it's such a dope festival to perform at.
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He also called Montreal a savvy audience with good knowledge
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of stand up, which allows comedians to be themselves. The
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Culture Show formerly known as the Ethnic Show and then
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was known as Just for the Culture. I didn't even
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realize they had switched this name. Just for the Culture
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was bad. The Culture Show is better. I still like
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the Ethnic Show the best. Come on, we all know