Conan O'Brien's new show, Rob Schneider says Not True, Ricky Gervais shows Jim Gaffigan how its done,

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Callaroga Shark media. Have you tried
sleeping high? I'm Johnny mag with your

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daily comedy news boy. I had
nothing yesterday. Today I can tell I

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have my fastball because I actually slept. Let's see, the unionized writers at

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Sesame workshop are going on strike.
I asked the late bot to write some

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jokes. Late Bot did a good
job. Cookie Monsters strike demands are pretty

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simple. He just wants to change
the lyrics to see is for contract.

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That's good enough for me. Oscar
the Grouch loves the strike. He's like

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more trash talking and refusing to work. This is the happiest day of my

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life. That's a good joke.
That's like quality late Night. I could

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see Kimmel or Fallon doing that exact
joke. Ernie's bath time has gotten pretty

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awkward. He keeps inviting his rubber
ducky to join the union and seeing bath

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time is the right time to collectively
bargain. That one feels a little Colbert

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to me. The Count could not
be reached for comment about the strike.

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He was too busy counting all the
reasons Man's offer was unacceptable. One grievance,

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two grievance three grievances A a ah, I don't do a good count

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actual Late Night Jimmy Kimmel. The
Trump campaign pushed back on reports that Trump

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fell asleep in court. He said
that was fake snooze. That's terrible but

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good. Rob Schneider is calling BS
on the notion that he bombed in front

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of the Republicans. This from TMZ. Schneider called the report a hit piece

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and even labeled it as woke propaganda. Casey missed it. The report said

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Schneider was supposed to do a thirty
minute show for some Republicans, but organizers

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cut him off ten minutes into the
show because his jokes were too launchy and

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off color. Rob tells TMZ that
he did fifty full minutes and that event

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Hanchos knew exactly what they were getting
into with him. Rob said, I'm

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not changing my material or apologizing for
my jokes to anybody. Enough with the

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woke BS. America is sick of
it. I did fifty minutes because that's

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what I was paid to do.
Nobody remove me from stage. Somebody waved

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to me at the fifty minute mark. He said he took the fifty one

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thousand dollars he was offered to perform
and did so happily, and then slammed

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the figure as devaluated by twenty six
percent over the last three years thanks to

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Joe Biden. Drod Carmichael told The
Breakfast Club, I deeply regret saying anything

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about Dave Chappelle to the press.
I want to say I'm sorry for that,

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a non apology say it. Doesn't
regret say anything about Chapelle, he

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just regrets saying it to the press. Now. Back in twenty twenty two,

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Carmichael told GQ, and I agree
with this and Dave Chappelle, I

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hope you're paying attention, Dave.
Do you know what comes up when you

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google your name? Bro? Your
legacy is a bunch of opinions on trans

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stuff. It's an odd hill to
die on. I agree with Drod there,

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despite all my coast to coast flying, I've not yet caught up with

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Joe Rogan's interview with Neil Brennan,
but they were discussing SNL. Rogan told

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it, Neil Brennan and SNL seems
like they handicapped themselves, like they're handicapping

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themselves less back then, but now
for sure. If you're on network television,

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you're dealing with so many executives.
They're all terrified, and everyone's scared,

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and everyone's ideologically captured. There's certain
things you can't joke roundabout. It's

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like, God, there's so much
ground you can't cover, and it's just

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you handicap yourself. You just handicap
yourself. The real problem is the format

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is so restrictive, the fact that
you have to break for commercials, the

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fact that you have a specific amount
of time, all that you just can't

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compete with the Internet because of that, you just can't. I don't think

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SNL's problem is the commercials, because
you can move those around a little bit,

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and ninety minutes is plenty of time, and you can cut sketches.

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It's the network TV part. You
can't curse, you can't be out there.

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That's the big issue that said we're
clean. Jerry Seinfeld, Jim Gaffigan,

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Mike pro Biglia for the most part. Brian Reagan Me, that's right.

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I'm in the same class as Jeff
Foxworthy, Jerry Seinfeld, Jim Gaffikin

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Mike Boerman related humor is actually better
than Jim Gaffigan's. So we'll get to

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that in a bit. Conan O'Brien
Must Go is finally premiering today on HBO

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Max Max HBO. Yes, this
is not the long awaited variety show that

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was a rumor, but finally Conan
has made something for HBO. The Wall

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Street Journal says Conan O'Brien Must Go
asks a lot travel show based on a

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podcast two programming phenomena of which there
is certainly no shortage, and the resulting

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comedy is crazily uneven and profoundly unrehearsed. The av Club said Max's travel show

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will delight Coco fans. There will
be obligatory food tasting, dress up site

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gags galore, all the while our
hero will wield the full instrument of his

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pale long form as only he can, to draw laughter a discuss from all

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who behold him. I'll check that
over the weekend. David Cross is recruiting

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his super pals for a star studded
show in Central Park Summer Stage at Central

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Park, New York City, August
eighth, all Right, John Who's playing

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David Cross, of course, Bob
Odenkirk Sour Silverman, Fred Armison, Sean

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Patton, Zack Zucker, Shane Torres
and more to be announced. That's pretty

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cool. Tickets go on sale tomorrow
at ten am Eastern from Fox, your

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Home for comedy News. Actor John
Leguizamo attacked to Pinata in a fit of

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rage on Tuesday after learning Donald Trump
was gaining support among Latino voters, express

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dismay, saying, I mean,
clearly Trump isn't making any effort to get

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Latino voters or make them a priority. But the thing that hurts the most

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is that his lazy strategy is actually
working. Apparently a leg Waszamo let out

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a string of curse words in Spanish
aimed at Trump while attacking the pinata.

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Jimmy Carr doing the Rounds promoting as
Netflix special I chose not to watch it

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Tuesday night. I was home in
front of the TV and I could not

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stay awake, so I held off
on that. Jimmy Carr said he was

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close to death when he was diagnosed
with meningitis as a child. He was

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on the podcast Where There's a Will, There's a Way, and he said,

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my first memory is a lumbar pucksher
in Limerick in the general hospital.

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I was three, and I think
I was always told it was very close

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to death. The doctor sort of
went, it's going to be very painful,

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and somehow it heard the phrase and
I went, you've got to be

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cruel to be kind in a little
child's voice, and I kind of appreciated

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that thing of life because I was
always told, oh, you nearly didn't

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make it. He discussed how we
would like to die now that he's older.

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Jimmy said, I want my kids
and the people to love me,

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to be able to tell a story
like, oh, Jimmy died. Funny

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story. You flew to South Africa, and he went on one of those

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great shark cage experiences and he forego
the cage. He said, no cage

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for me. Thanks, I'll just
jump in there with a fish. And

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I was ravaged by sharks. That
would be a way to go. That

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was a setup for a shark story. He said. Recently, I was

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swimming with a friend in Key West
and there were sharks in the water and

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one sort of flipped around. Would
be swimming with these small sharks all day,

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and we slightly misjudged the size of
this thing was enormous, and it

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flipped around and it came at us, and I remember just thinking of the

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old joke. I don't have to
outrun the bear. I just have to

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outrun you. Just swim faster than
my mate Henry. Now, we got

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back on the boat and the guys
went, these are just reef sharks and

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I went, yeah, with the
black tip on the fin and they went,

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oh whoa. Jimmy said, but
I think being torn apart by sharks

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that's a great story for everyone.
Yesterday we did an intervention for Jim Gaffigan.

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Ricky Gervase is out howking his vodka
and Jim paying attention to Ricky,

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this is how you do it.
Hi, I'm Ricky Gervas and I'm an

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actor, so I really care about
stuff and I want you to care about

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stuff too. This is Dutch Bond
vodka. It's made from British apples.

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It tastes great, and the bottle
is one hundred percent recyclable, so it

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helps the environment, which as an
actor I really care about. And it's

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the only vodka I drink on the
private jet. So Dutch Bond, that's

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it. Jim, just do that. Don't try too hard. Ricky knows

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we're in on the joke. Jimmy
trying too hard with that Chris Rock is

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the voice of a new campaign by
the National Basketball Association. You may know

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them as the NBA. The article
I'm cribbing from describes the National Basketball Association

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as a global sports and media organization. Thanks the campaign is word playoff mode.

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This gets old pretty fast. I'll
place some of it so you can

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get a taste of Chris Rock.
Here is playoff Jason a thing? Playoff

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Jason is not a thing. Okay, Tatum, we all know it's a

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thing. Look at the evid,
just as playoff Spider's not a thing.

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Blunto Caid, deny it? I
mean, is that official? No?

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No, no, are you serious? Oh? I see he's got on

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it. You get the idea.
Mike Ebbs talked about his friendship with Shaquille

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O'Neill. This was on Jimmy Kimmel
Live. Apps told Jimmy Kimmel Shack's my

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man, suggesting that Chack is the
kind of guy who'd give a Lamborghini to

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anyone. Had said, I ain't
give it up on that. I'm keeping

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that for myself. Earlier in the
year, Shack named his favorite comedians.

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They included Eddie Murphy, Richard Pryor
Mike Epps. Kate Williams says the article.

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I don't think Kate Williams is correct. I'm gonna guess cant Williams.

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Is there a comedian Kate Williams.
Let's check who knows? Maybe she's hilarious

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comedian Kate Williams. Enter well,
Google said, including results for comedian Kat

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Williams. But they've offered me the
opportunity to search only for comedian Kate Williams.

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Let's do that, Ah, Kate
Williams, stand up comedian. I'm

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on just Theetonic dot com. This
is a fun lark. Kate Williams is

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fresh on the UK circuit and she's
coming in hot. Starting out as a

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flyer with delusions of grandeur, Kate
now sells jokes to whoever will listen,

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and also to the ones who won't. Now, I'm not finding any comedy

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by Kate Williams. And when I
search for Kate Williams, a lot of

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stuff comes up from some comedian named
Kat Williams who seems to have done some

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sort of noisy interview a few months
ago. Anyway, Shaquille O'Neill's favorite comedians

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are Eddie Murphy, Richard Pryor,
Mike Epps, Corey Holcom and Kate Williams

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Little housekeeping. I do see on
people dot com there's a big article about

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Olivia Munn discussing her battles with cancer. Mulaney is tangentially mentioned, but it

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just doesn't seem like the kind of
thing that we do here on this podcast

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while googling Kate Williams for laughs.
But if you want to read up on

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Olivia Munn, you can do that
on People. Laura Murley will record her

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first comedy special. She specializes in
set up, punchline jokes and one liner

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is rather than storytelling. She admires
and is influenced by Mitch Hedberg and Maria

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Bamford. You can catch her at
the Flophouse Comedy Club in Brooklyn tonight.

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Donald Glover is working on some sort
of anime. Not much is known about

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it. And let's see what's happening
at the festivals, John, did you

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preload Melbourne? Nope? As we're
getting a little long here, I'll tell

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you some shows. I won't pull
clips today, Tomorrow I'll pull a bunch

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of clips. How about that Blake
Pavey, that's the guy who told you

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about at the end of yesterday's show. He's the one that got into it

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with the old man, all right. Blake Bavey is playing the age,

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says. Pavee's stand up delicately weaves
elements of darkness and light, moving the

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audience to the brink of tears,
before landing a hefty punch line that leaves

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them in that stitches no clip.
But Blake's show is called Still kick In.

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Maybe go there and heckle him so
you can make the news. Maddy

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Week's show is called Never Gonna Die
This at storytime Melbourne is a picture of

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Maddie with a skeleton puppet almost looks
Jeff dunham ESQ. This show will cure

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everything that's wrong with you. With
one simple payment of fifteen to twenty five

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Australian dollars, you can become immortal
and never experience a bad emotion ever again.

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Wow, that sounds pretty cool.
Beat Magazine calls the show a force

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to be reckoned with. In the
comedy scene, I guess they call Maddy

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a force to be reckoned with.
The plus Ones says entirely captivating. Squirrel

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Comedy calls Maddy Weeks a charming and
funny young comedian, a great person to

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spend an hour with. Shane Daniel
Burn's show is called but He's Gay.

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00:11:18.240 --> 00:11:22.279
That's a funny title. Award winning
Shane Daniel Byrne is Irish Comedy's new wonder

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kin in his mid thirties. Once
considered an exciting talent of contemporary performance arreat

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in Dublin, he messed that up
and is now a comedian selling out shows

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around the UK. David o'darty calls
him my favorite new Irish comedian for many

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years. Meanwhile, in Dubai,
did you see they had so much rain?

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Now? I did google Dubai Comedy
Festival Rain to see if anything was

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canceled. Nothing came up, but
I do see that the Metro is having

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issues from all the rain. So
if you're on your way to Zarnagarg's a

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Show or Desi Laughs or Stand Up
Bell Masery. Those are the three shows

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today you might want to check on
the metro service or to make sure that

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the show's actually happening. Stand Up
Bell Masery, Egypt's first comedy factory is

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back with Bell Masony. Volume two
is showcase of an all star lineup of

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the finest Egyptian comedians. Belle Mastery, which translates to in Egyptian, will

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feature some of Egypt's funnies men and
women as they strut their stuff, etc.

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That's at the Coca Cola Arena,
so it must be a pretty big

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show. And we'll finish up with
Moontower because that's going to be pretty robust

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today. Oh yeah, pull up
a chair. This is going to take

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me a minute. All right,
six o'clock, Ian Carmel and Friends.

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Six point thirty Natalie Palamedes. I
don't care what comes up, and I

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see what just came up. We're
going to see Natalie. I think she's

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fantastic, which means Johnny Mack is
making you miss Mark Maron at seven o'clock.

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Now. I love Maren. You
guys know I love Maren. But

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we can see Maren on Netflix.
I guess we could see Natalie on Netflix

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as well. Her last special was
on Netflix and it's fantastic. But I

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would want to go see Natalie.
Seven o'clock, New York's Finest seven o'clock.

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Moontower, A mystery show. Seven
o'clock. James a Domian boy.

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He's great too, A lot of
great choices seven o'clock. Celebrity Memoir book

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Club seven thirty hit list. Any
names you would know, they're most likely

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not Britannic at seven thirty. I
always love seeing shows like that. The

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joke of painting Andy Kindler On that
one, there's a logo that makes you

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think of Bob Ross, but is
clearly legally distinct. Let's see what this

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show is. Imagine if art Icon
Bob Ross taught one of those wine fueled

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ladies' night painting classes. Now imagine
we've replaced Bob Ross with a few comedians.

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Okay, that sounds like a good
time. But we're at Natalie Palamedia's

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show eight o'clock. Oh, this
is so good too. Tag it at

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the Creek of the Cave. Sclar
Brothers, Todd Barry Rosebud Baker, Jeremiah

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Watkins, Chloe Trost, Liza trigger
Does. Sclar Brothers invite their hilarious friends

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to do sets while they sit off
stage writing tags to pitch the comics on

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stage. Oh, what a great
thing. I might have to cheat here

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and see if Natalie's playing tomorrow.
She's not. These are some great shows.

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Lucas Zelnick at eight o'clock. Sarah
Schaeffer at eight thirty. Hypothetically we

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saw her yesterday. Olivia Flood wall
Ily at eight thirty two Dykes and a

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Mic. I love these titles.
Nine o'clock Stars in Bars. The stars

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include Sam Jay, Shane Torres,
Drew Lynch, James Domian and some others.

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At nine o'clock The Canadians of Comedy, Miss Patt at nine thirty,

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Stamptown nine thirty, Surrounded nine thirty, Andy Kindler at nine thirty, Rachel

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Feinstein nine thirty, Killers, ten
thirty, Unzipped at eleven Best of the

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Fest after Party, and the gosh
Darn Comedy Jam at eleven thirty. That's

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always a good show, all right, We're doing Natalie at six thirty.

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You're just gonna have to trust me
on this, So let's assume an hour

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and a half there, so we'll
be free around eight when you and I

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pretend to go to comedy festivals.
Don't forget we have magic time traveling ability

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where we can get across town in
five seconds. So let's see at eight

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o'clock we've seen Sarah Schaeffer already.
Hmm, should we wait to nine o'clock?

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Want to do Canadians of comedy you
want to do Rachel Kindler's gotten a

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little negative for me, especially on
Twitter. Let's do Canadians of Comedy and

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then let's do the gosh darn Comedy
Jam at eleven thirty tomorrow is very robust

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as well. And that is your
comedy news for today. Hey, don't

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forget. I also host five Good
News Stories, Number five Good News Stories.

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Apple has been promoting that for three
weeks, so that thing took off.

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Thank you Apple Podcast. All right, see you tomorrow