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Callaroga shark media. Oh boy, on a day where my
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script program says, no, I can't make the font any larger.
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I'm Chawi mag with your daily comedy news, daily briefing
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on stand up comedy, comedians and the comedy industry. Assuming
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I can even see my script, I'm not kidding. I
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went to make the text larger, and there is no larger.
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Oh bye. Code And O'Brien was on Michelle Obama's podcast.
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As one does. Conan's not some sort of insider who
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has fancy celebrities at his holiday party. You know, he's
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this rascally outsider guy. Conan telled Michelle Obama. I always
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say I'm a fifty one to fifty two percent optimist.
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I do say the world has always been filled with horribleness.
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There's always been trouble. When young people preach to me
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it's all over, say it's the end of the world,
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I say, you have to understand this is the way
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it's always been and this is how it feels. Conan
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referenced the movie The African Queen. Spoilers for the nineteen
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fifty one film starring Katherine Hepburn and Humphrey Bogard Good film,
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you should see it. Conan calls the African Queen a
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great metaphor for life. In the movie spoilers, you had
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some time there, Hepburn and Boguard are lost in the
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thick woods. They're exhausted from trying to drag their boat forward.
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Convinced they'll never get out, they give up, unaware that
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they're just feet from the river. Conan said, I always
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think about that. I think I've been there probably thirty
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five times in my life when I thought I was
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on the boat and I'm dead on the boat. Then
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I make it past that. He said. Nearly every stage
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of his career has come with one of those moments.
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You may recall critics did not think he would last
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on the Late Night Show and said, then I make
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it past that. Later on I got the Tonight's show
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and I think I'm in good shape. Nope, that blows up,
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and now I thought it's really over. No, it's not.
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Keeps happening over and over again. There's this learning to
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roll with it. Okay, what's my next opportunity? Reset, recommit,
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look for the next opportunity. That is something I try
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to import to my kids. Good advice there Conan. Conan
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ads I'm a poster child for incredible luck. I've been very,
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very lucky, and I give it up for that. I
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also know that I work really hard, and I prepare
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and I try to treat people the right way, but
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I get very angry when people don't give it up
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for luck. I'm also aware that what was my path
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as a white male coming up in the nineteen eighties
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nineties a lot easier than a lot of other people
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in comedy and probably in any profession. We'll have a
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lot of Conan this week. He is hosting the Oscars
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on Sunday. The Hollywood Reporter did one of those fancy
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cover stories with him on Monday. I'm saving that for
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Saturday's Oscars preview episode. Meanwhile, Stephen Colbert was at the
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Writer's Guild of America Awards on Sunday in New York City.
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Colbert was given the Walter Bernstein Award, which is for
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a member who has demonstrated with creativity, grace and bravery
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a willingness to confront social injustice in the face of adversity.
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Colbert said he doesn't deserve any parallels to the namesake
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Walter Bernstein, who was blacklisted during mccortheism in the nineteen
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fifties for being a member of the Communist Party. Colbert said,
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this is not the nineteen fifties. This is not the
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Red Scare. And as far as I can tell, no
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one in Late Night is fermenting a revolution. As we know,
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the revolution will not be televised. It's going to be televised.
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But then Paramount bought it. Great joke, great, great joke,
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he continued. Evidently the revolution was losing like forty million
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dollars a year. It had to go. I hear the
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revolution is thinking about starting a substack good stuff there. Hey,
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where did the next story go? Oh? Here it is.
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It's supposed to be third, it's moved itself to fifth.
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I don't know how that happened. David Cross has a
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new comedy special. It's already out. It's called The End
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of the Beginning of the End. It is the ninth
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of his career. It's available on his website already. They
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announced this on Monday and they were like, it's already out,
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but it will be on YouTube. April seven. Filmed in
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David Cross's home state of Georgia at the historic forty
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Watt in Athens, David Cross tackles the chaos of modern
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America head on, skewering authoritarian politics like what what are
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you talking about? Really? Reproductive rights rollbacks, religious extremism, late
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stage capitalism, and uniquely American obsession with hoarding sneakers. Cross
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jokes the whole thing was written by some of the
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cheapest AI available. Cameron Esposito has announced a new album.
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It is called Person of No Consequence. It'll be out Friday,
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March twentieth on a special Thing Records. Cameron is fantastic.
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Used to have a podcast where they would have local
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LA comedians. Was really good. What was that called? It's
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been gone for like ten years already. That was a
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really good. Anyway, It'll come to me as soon as
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I stop recording. Derek Stroup has a Netflix special out today,
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part of Nateland. You'll find Nostalgic on a Netflix. In Nostalgic,
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Derek Stroop dives into his experience being a nineties kid
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in rural Alabama and everything that came along with it,
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from partying with friends to board games and parental relationships.
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Daily show writer Matt Kauf has a new special out
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today Catman, It's on Veeps. In Catman, Matt Kauf discusses divorce,
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middle age, and cats, sharing his thoughts on the world's
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bias against men with cats. He says people love cats,
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but men with cats make people uncomfortable, including me. I'm
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a man with a cat and I'm creeped out by myself.
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Also also also out today, German American comedian Mario Adrion
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his special My Struggle, which is a tongue in cheek
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nod to the title of a famous German leader's book.
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You know, the really really really really really really really
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evil guy that wrote a book Mario specials called My Struggle.
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That'll be on YouTube starting at nine a m. Pacific today.
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This one was filmed across four sold out shows a
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Dynasty typewriter in La Mario tackles his cultural experience as
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a German comedian living in America, exploring his German guilt,
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his German Jewish marriage, and how La is a bit
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different from a small hometown where he grew up chopping
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wood in the Black Forest. Kathleen Madigan, I love this one.
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This was in the Star Telegram. We learned that Kathleen
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Madigan back in nineteen seventy eight won the Mid Missouri
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Hoop Shoot Championship. Kathleen Madigan made fourteen out of fifteen
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attempts back in nineteen seventy eight, all underhand, and she said,
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that is true, and then I retired. You have to
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remember back then, this was not some school sponsored thing.
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This was through like the Elks Lodge. There was some
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random thing my dad signed me up for because he
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treated the girls like the boys. My dad was a
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lawyer and he saw sports for girls as a dead end.
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The next round was in Kansas City, which is why
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I wanted to do it. We lived in Saint Louis
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and I wanted to see Kansas City. There were seven
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kids in my family. I know such thing as travel
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sports back then with my parents was like if you
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can walk to the game, you can play, but we're
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not driving you. That reminds me when I was eighteen,
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I coached baseball. I just wanted to coach baseball, so
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they handed I don't know what they were, how old
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were these kids would have been like six seventh graders
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to some eighteen year olds. And this was in Queen's
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I didn't have a car. We would just walk to
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these fields like neighborhoods away. You think the parents would
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drive some of us. Now, I would carry this big
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bag on my back and go coach baseball. I loved it.
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And there wasn't travel baseball back then. This was cyo
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baseball and Queen's I was still doing cyo baseball as
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late as the turn of the century. And then you'd
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hear like the really good kids would be like, I'm
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playing travel baseball. You'd be like, what's that now? I mean,
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twenty five years later, forget it. Especially soccer, boy, the
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big money came into soccer in the right around twenty ten,
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the big money, the Brits all came over and just
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basically town soccer fell apart, county soccer fell apart. You
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have if you want to play anything, at least big competitive,
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you had to pay play in these travel leagues, and
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those were all like four thousand dollars. So everybody sport
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the World Baseball Classic. Because what I want to do
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is I'm gonna move to London and I'm going to
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open up Big Apple Baseball. I'm gonna ramp up the
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accident a little bit and be like, hey, you want
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to be like Wan Soto let me show you how
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to do it, and then George British parents four thousand
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dollars for me to teach them how to play baseball,
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and they'll be like, oh, he's from New York City.
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Sounds right, like I don't know if these British guys
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weren'ty good at soccer, they just looked right. I don't know.
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I digress. Ye. My wife just texted me asking me
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if I want McDonald's. The answer is yes, hold on, Wow, Wow,
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she's the best. I got to hold on to her.
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I just ordered a two cheeseburger meal to die coke.
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And case you're curious, where were we and why don't
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you edit that out? John? The answer, as always is
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because that's not fun. Kathleen Madigan was talking about travel
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sports and said, look at the commitment, all this money.
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My sister called me from jim Issareli. I remember all
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that She's hoping and praying her kid would lose in
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the volleyball match. That's what I was saying. You'd be
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in this soccer chortament at like eight in the morning,
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and if you win, you get to play in the
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championship game at like four point thirty on a Sunday
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two and a half hours from your house, and like
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part of you is like, yeah, I totally hope they win.
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It would be a shame if we didn't get to
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hang out here in these fields, in the middle of
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nowhere all day. Call. He said, I stay in Marriad
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courtyards all the time, and I see the parents of
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the kids sports team. They're always just hanging out in
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the lobby, just drinking all the time. Speaking of sports,
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did you watch the Knicks on Sunday? You were like, Hey,
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did Amy Schumer dance? No, it was a road game.
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Bill Maher was there. He was sitting in the front row.
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Bill Maher's got a lot of money. He was sitting
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courtside at the Lakers game. So whatever you think of
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Bill Maher, he's done a right for himself. Anyway, Lakers
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guard Marcus Smart crashed into Bill Maher in the middle
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of the game. I saw this myself on live television,
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wrote myself a note Bill Maher in the script. Thing
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that seemed to Bill Maher's finger got slightly injured. It
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was a little bit swollen. Hopefully Bill Maher is doing okay.
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Marcus Smart re entered the game and defeated the Knicks,
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which was very disappointing. Now, last night Johnny Mack had
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to stay up late because the Knicks were playing the Clippers,
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and you know who used to be on the Clippers,
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Blake Griffin. Blake Griffin has tried stand up comedy. See
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how I tied this all together. You couldn't plan it
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any better, thanks NBA schedule. Blake Griffin compared to stand
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up comedy to the NBA. He said, you finish a
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good game, you get the text from the people, you
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talk to people that were there. You feel a certain
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energy that's riding above everything else. It's the same when
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you have a good comedy set. I haven't had many
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of them. You definitely feel this higher energy. Comedy is
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the same way as basketball. For me, putting in the time,
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going about constructing jokes, constructing a set the right way.
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It's important to me. I don't want to be this
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hack who only goes for the low hanging fruit. Meanwhile,
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from tennis dot Com, you're home for comedy news. Matt
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Rife took a tennis lesson with Chris Eubanks and discovers
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that Spanish grunting improves shot quality. I think we all
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knew that Chris Eubanks, who as you know, is the
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twenty twenty three Wimbledon quarter finalist, shared on social media.
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Super Lucky. Matt Rife asked Tennis Channel for the opportunity
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to get a good tennis coach. So who else to
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bring besides myself? Matt Riife said, the wrist is everything.
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Rife explained. Tennis Channel asked me if I wanted to
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embarrass myself. They were like, I've ever played before. I said,
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not a day in my life. So then they brought
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in the best. They warmed up doing some groundstrokes. Then
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matt Rife was taught on the art of grunting. Chris
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you Banks said, maybe let the grunt determine the quality
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of the shot. Raife took the advice. You Banks told
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matt Rife, I feel like your shots are getting better
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with it and you're just letting go of atension. When
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it was all done, Riife said, that was tremendously harder
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than I thought it was going to be. He went
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to collect the balls. A young fan yelled out from
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above the court. Matt Riife yelled back to the mom,
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he should have no idea who I am that's terrible parenting.
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Mom said, he's never seen your stuff. Matt Rife gave
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the young man some advice. Nice to meet you, buddy,
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Enjoy your future detentions. Well, if you've had the TV on,
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you'll see that we're bombing a run for some reason.
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Stock market down, gas price is up. Over the weekend,
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the President of the United States showed up at the
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Daynified Transfer ceremony in a baseball cap. That's just your
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news recap. Fox News caught up with Max Amini. Now.
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The setup for this was like a lot of the
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articles lately about how Maximini has gone from Who's that