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Callaroga Shark Media. Hey there, Johnny Mack with your daily
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comedy news. And if you're paying attention on Friday, you
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heard me drop two good stories on the fly while
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I've moved them here to the top of Monday's episode.
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Congratulations to the folks at the eight hundred Pound Gorilla.
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They've done a deal with Nate Brighetzy. They will become
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the official audio and video distributor for the YouTube specials
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of Nateland Entertainment. The partnership with the eight hundred Pound
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Gorilla puts the Nateland Specials second window distribution of comedy
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specials from Aaron Weber, Nick Fohn, and Greg Warren. The
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Gorilla has similar deals with Kevin Hart's Laugh Out Loud
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Network and All Things Comedy, which is Bill burn Almetricle's company.
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One of the Gorilla suits said, with both of us
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calling Nashville our home base, teaming up with Nate Brighetze
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and Nate Land felt like the obvious move. Nate led
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the global comedy touring numbers last year, and he's mapping
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out even bigger plans as Nate Land's audience grows. We're
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excited to be partners and helping propel that growth. Amen, Nate,
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don't give up the comedy, because I'm telling you, in
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about ten years, i'm gonna be doing a story. We're
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gonna sit down, it's gonna be daily coming news. I'm
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gonna be like, I can't believe they made Happy Gilmore seven,
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and I'm gonna be like, uh yeah, Nate. Remember when
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Nate Pergetsy was gonna open a theme park. Whatever happened
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to that, Remember that that's coming, that story. You just
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got to wait a decade, all right. Website The National
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caught Bill Burr and Abu Dhabi. Now this was a
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week ago Saturday, and I bumped this a couple of times.
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I don't know if you noticed. Last week the episodes
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were quite long as it was, and I figured this
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could wait a minute. Spoilers if you're planning on seeing
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Bill Burr overseas anyway. A lot of quotes from Burst
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set here that i'll do in my again. It's a
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it's not at all intended to be a Bill ber impression.
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It's what I call on the show, a half ass impression.
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I'm not really trying to do Burr's voice, but I'll
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try and match his Cadence the best I can Burst said.
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Every four years, the billionaires in my cuntry figure out
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how to blame immigrants. You lose your job, you farm,
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you can't buy a house, and I'll tell you it's
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because some guy float in on a mattress from Cuba.
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We always believe it because the white guy telling us.
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We think, oh, white guy, I'm a white guy, the
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same skin, same team. But it's not the same team,
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not the same team at all. Racists white people have
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to say, I don't have a problem with immigrants as
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long as they come here the right way. Oh yeah,
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did we The immigrant should leave and come back in
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wooden ships and bring some COVID lace blankets. A bird
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then started talking about Donald Trump. Burr said that Burr
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does not understand what's going on with the leadership of
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my country right now, and then started talking about Elon
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Musk and that salute of sorts that mister Musk did
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at one point, Remember that one. Burr said, there's a
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moment in America if you did a Kaitlyn jennichoke, you
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were taking your career in your hands. Five years later,
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the sky has Nerd salutes not once, but twice once
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to the front, once at the back. People try to
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play it off with something else, and he didn't get
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in trouble. What's happening. Burr then started talking about how
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the achievements of ancient Egypt are questioned in Western discourse.
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Burr said white people could accept that somebody could do
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something they couldn't. If the Pyramids had happened in Italy,
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they wouldn't be confused. They would say, today, we're gonna
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try and figure out who built the Royal Colisseum? Was
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it mermaids. Burr also discussed Jeff bezol thirty eight million
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dollar wedding to Lauren Sanchez. Burr said, this guy's sewing
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over his head. He spent thirty eight million dollars to
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get married. Dude, you could have gone to Vegas and
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got that for sixty nine bucks. You're giving a starter
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lift ship thirty eight million dollars. It's because he's a nerd,
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never had a girlfriend, he didn't play sports. It was
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his an apartment playing on computers. He's not an idiot.
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He's just then experienced. What's he going to get it
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for a birthday? He read that a whole city, all
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of Venice and if she even asked for that. He
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probably wanted a Harry Potter theme leisure tag thing. She's
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sitting there with her emotions looking out the window, saying
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I was thinking maybe we could have a destination wedding,
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and he's like, what do you mean, like Florida. He's
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gonna be hanging out with the truck drivers. He doesn't
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pay enough on the Amazon loading dock, saying I can't
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make this woman happy. Burr said he would like to
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go back, but says I'll come back in the winter.
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That's when my wife will come. She'll support me on
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the road, just not in July. That's pretty good material,
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even with me half assed channeling it. You can tell
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that some really good writing that is obviously performed a
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trillion times better by Bill Burr. I'm just trying to
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host a podcast here, serious case you knew. Not a
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stand up comedian, not claiming to be a stand up comedian.
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I've never tried to be a stand up comedian. I
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don't want to be a stand up comedian. I'm not
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saying I'm funny. I'm a guy in a basement reading
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you comedy news headlines. That's all this is. Adam Sailor
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Happy Gilmour two out on a Friday. Boy, I might
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have to leave the country to avoid this whole thing.
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Adam Sandler spoke to E Online about working alongside famous
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Hollywood actress Sadie Sandler, who's nineteen, and Sonny Sandler, who
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is sixteen. Adam told E News about the Sandler actresses,
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once they do it, well, nothing feels better. As a parent.
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It must be like when you're the parents of a
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baseball player and you're at the game and they get
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a hit. You just go thank God, just so much relief.
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Acting is something the two kids love. My one daughter
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study it in school and my other daughter studies it
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while doing high school, and they love it. They talk
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about it a lot, and he News tells us it's
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not just storing in their dad's movies that excite Sadie
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and Sonny. In fact, Jude Barrymore recounted a tender moment
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of walking in on one of her children and one
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of Adam's daughters watching their two thousand's rom com Fifth
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First Dates, which, as you know as a frequent listener,
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is one of the few good Adam Saylor movies. Drew said,
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I was like, why are you guys watching this? Don't
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you get enough of me and your dad? The Texas
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Tribune Festival is coming to austin November thirteenth through the fifteenth.
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I'm mentioning this because they announced influential voices who are
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joining them. One of the influential voices who will be
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at the Texas Tribune Festival in November John mulaney, and
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the presser tells us mullany is a three time Emmy Award,
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Critics Choice Award, and WGA Award winning writer, comedian and actor.
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He's also a constitutional law NERD. So congratulations asterisk to
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kill Tony. I saw the news media was picking up
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claiming that kill Tony is now the number one podcast.
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Now they are saying this because kill Tony showed up
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at the top of the YouTube shorts and now this
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is a whole thing in the podcasting industry. The easiest
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thing to do is subscribe to the pod News newsletter
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and subscribe to my substack, and you can hear us
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going back and forth about this. So for us people
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who live on Old Man Mountain, a podcast is what
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I'm doing right now. It's audio. There are other things,
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like an example, I'll use is Andrew Schultz interviewing President
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Trump sitting on a couch and there's fake plants and
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a four camera set up, and it's lit properly, and
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all that YouTube thinks that's a podcast. And then somewhere
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between what Schultz does and what I do is the truth. Anyway,
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the YouTube charts include all kinds of things that US
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old people might not consider podcasts. Now, do I consider
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kill Tony podcasts? Yes, But in terms of audio podcasts,
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what you listen to on say Apple podcasts or listen
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to on your phone might be a better way to
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describe it. Please understand, Joe Rogan is light years ahead
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of everything else. Sometimes you'll see something show up at
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the top of the charts, but the charts have a
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recency bias based upon it's a regression of subscriptions and
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listens within the last seventy two hours. So if you, sir,
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start a podcast today and get I don't know, five
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thousand of your friends to listen to it in the
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next hour, you'll shoot up the charts. You won't stay there,
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but you'll shoot up. So every now and then you'll
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see something at the top of the charts. And I
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always tell people, Hey, when you number one, take a
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screen grab and tell everybody you're number one. So nobody
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questions these things. So tap the breaks on kil Tony
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having the number one podcast. If you're seeing that as
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a headline, tap the breaks. He just might have had
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a good week on YouTube and it's a good show.
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Don't get me wrong. This just for last Montreal Comedy
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Festival website is going to kill me. But things are
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picking up here. As I look at tonight's lineup, looks
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like the French shows have cleared out. I'm seeing a
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bunch of things in English today. They include Ross Battle
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Canada at five o'clock, The Culture Show at seven, there
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is a French show at seven, the JFL Live Sessions,
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probably an album taping at seven, another Rose Battle Canada
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at eight, The Sketch Show hosted by Lou Lawrence at
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eight thirty, The Nasty Show at nine to thirty, Double Threat,
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Mark Little and Wally Barram at Tien at Ross Battle
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Canada at ten thirty, Midnight Surprise eleven fifty nine. Okay,
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so if we were in Montreal and I may have
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to leave the country because of this Adam Sandler stuff,
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so this might be my life very soon. I would say,
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all right, at five o'clock, let's do Roast Battle Canada.
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So that probably takes us to six thirty or so.
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As we play this mental exercise, we've seen the Culture
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Show ninety five times, so we don't need to go
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see that. You know what, We should grab dinner and
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then hit the sketch show at eight thirty. So we'll
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grab dinner and a brew or two. Can I sidebar
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slide bar for a second. Almost got alcohol distracted. I'll
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come back to that. All right, eight thirty. Sketch Show,
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will do that, and then let's see that's at the
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Theater Saint Catherine. And so is the ten o'clock show
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at the Theater Saint Katherine, Double Threat, Mark Little and
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Wally Barram. So we'll see the sketch show and then
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we'll walk across the hall to see Double Threat. And
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then at that point, I've been seeing comedy shows since
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five o'clock, and we've had a meal and I've had
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a couple drinks. There you can go to midnight Surprise.
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I'm going to bed. So, speaking of alcohol, I forgot
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to share the story the other day. So volleyball on Wednesday,
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which why I didn't watch the SP's live. First of all,
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so I'm not that good at volleyball. I play volleyball,
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but I'm not that good. But I can kind of serve.
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But one thing I do, and I nail this. I'm
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so happy with myself. I'm humble bragging here. So Wednesday night,
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it's game three. It's twenty three twenty three. First team
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to twenty five wins, but you have to win by two,
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and my serve comes up. I do this thing where
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I make it look like I'm a lot better at
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serving than I am. I'm a good server, but I'm
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not like a Hall of Fame server. What I do
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is I go up to the line and I really
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slow down the game. My teammates know I do this,
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and I look over and I just look down the
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other team, and I make it look like I'm going
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to place the ball exactly where I want. And then
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I serve it short. And if I pull that off,
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even if they return it, that's fine. But if I
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pull that off, now it looks like, oh, I did
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that on purpose. And then if I get the second point,
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I'm in their heads now and I do it again.
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So I got the first point. So it's twenty four
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to twenty three. And I got the second point. And
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what happens is because I hit the first one short,
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they start to move up, expecting me to soft serve
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because apparently that's what I do. I took my time
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at the line and I did a hard serve and
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I hate it right where the pin is because if
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you hit it where the pin is, the ball doesn't
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spin as much, and then when it does start spinning,
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it drops immediately. And I went bam and it dropped
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right between the four of them. Walk off when felt
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good about myself. Then we went to the bar and
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I didn't know BlackBerry cider is a thing. Why didn't
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anyone tell me? BlackBerry sider is a thing. I know
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about various siders, Irish American ances Stream. I've been drinking
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ciders for decades. I love a nice cider over ice.
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And the nice waitress was like, I was like, what
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kind of sider do you have? She's like, we have
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a BlackBerry sider. I'm like, BlackBerry sider, Okay, boys delicious.
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I had two of those and I digress a new
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special outs today on the eight hundred pound Gorilla. Paul
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Foot's Dissolve is available for early access. Meanwhile, The Edinburgh
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News had a preview of Seaton Smith, who had been
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opening for John mulaney. Seaton is going to the Edinburgh
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Fringe Fees and a lot of you know that. I
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host the Weekly Comedy Thing on the Live One app.
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The app is free, the show is free. The Weekly
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Comedy Thing is like this. I talk less and I
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play comedy bits in between, much shorter versus of the story.