Jerry Seinfeld breaks down, Dave Chappelle surprises Kenya, Joe Rogan wants better coffee

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Hi, I'm actually recording this after
to let you know. I'm very aware

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I don't have even my half assed
Jerry Seinfeld today, as we will uncover

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as you listen to today's podcast,
I realize the pollen in my backyard got

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to me. I have no voice, and I was trying to do half

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assed Jerry, which is already not
the best Jerry impression to begin with,

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but it's half assed Jerry. And
I'm aware I didn't even do a good

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half assed Jerry today. Are you
intrigued? Let's listen Caalaroga Shark Media very

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home. I'm Johnny Mack with your
daily comedy and he was Apparently Jerry Seinfeld

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did not enjoy not being the lead
story on this podcast because he's back baby.

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Apparently Jerry got choked up on Tuesday
while recalling his trip to Israel after

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October seventh. He was on Honestly
with Barry Weiss. They covered a wide

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range of topics that got picked up
all over the place. Let's recap.

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Jerry said that he often tells the
audience that he loves that young people are

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trying to get engaged with politics,
but their aim needs to be corrected.

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So silly. It's like, you
know, they want to express this in

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here intense rage, but again a
little off target. Jerry called his visit

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to Israel the most powerful experience of
his life. Weise said, really,

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Jerry quietly said sure. Yeah.
He was asked why Jerry pauses for a

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long moment, you know, you
just you know. Weiss asked, are

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you thinking of someone in particular?
Jerry nodded, rubbed his nose, pulled

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out a handkerchief, sniffled, and
said sorry. In a different section,

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he talked about the protesters and told
Barry, I love these young people.

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They're trying to get engaged with politics. We just have to correct their aim

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a little bit. They don't seem
to understand that as comedians we really don't

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control anything. It's like they want
to express this in here intense range,

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but again a little off target.
So that to me comedic. Seinfeld then

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compared both political parties to mobs.
They're mobs believe in their own crab right,

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that's what a political party is.
We're gonna make up a bunch of

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nonsense. We all agree to it. Let's print up some bumper stickers and

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get out there, kids. That's
politics. We're tribal animals. We're social

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creatures. We look for agreement and
consensus. I'm aware I don't even have

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my good half assed Jerry Seinfeld today. I'm at about third ass today.

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I hear it. I'm trying.
I wasn't even planning on recording this one.

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I had one that I'm gonna use
tomorrow. My schedules a little busy

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this week. I wasn't even planning
on doing this one. Then I saw

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the Jerry story. We're tribal animals, we're social creatures. We look for

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argument consensus. We're driven by agreement
and consensus. And my rule be gives

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us a comfort, gives a certainty. It's all ps. Another section,

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Jerry goes as a man. Weiss
cuts in and goes, are you sure

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you were? I did not hear
pronouns. I always wanted to be a

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real man, but I never made
it. And that hour was Jfko,

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was Muhammad Ali, was Sean Connery, Howard Cosell. That's a real man.

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I want to be like that someday. No, look at how I

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dress like an eight year old.
I never really grow up. You don't

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want to as a comedian. It's
a child just pursuit. But I misdominant

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masculinity. I like a real man. That's why I love you. Grant.

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He felt like one of those guys
I wanted to be. He knows

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how to dress, he knows how
to talk, He's charming, he has

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stories, He's comfortable at dinner parties, knows how to get a drink.

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That stuff. Never mind, Jerry
Seichfeld, I don't even have my own

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voice today. Excuse me. Weiss
asked, do you think punching down is

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the thing? Like? Is that
a real phenomenon? No, I don't.

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Comedy's extraordinary, simple, binary outcome
event. It's funny or it is

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it? I nobody cares really about
anything else. They talk. It's a

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lot of talk. What we really
ate is when someone does something that's not

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so funny. We didn't laugh,
and now I'm going to criticize it because

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it didn't make me laugh. I
really wish I had make good Jerry today.

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That was good stuff. I just
don't have it. I apologize.

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Oh wait, there's more reviews of
them frosted. The only reviews I want

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to read are the absolute worst reviews
at the movie received, because there's nothing

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funnier to me than people complaining that
I didn't laugh because they want to laugh.

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If you're built right as a stand
of comic, you don't give a

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flying dot dot dot. I'm doing
this gig and getting my laughs, getting

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the money. I'm getting the hell
out of here, and then your review

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comes out and I'm in another city
doing the same thing. There isn't no

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one opinion has any value. Comedians
on group think. Whatever the group thinks,

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that's the vote. We don't have
to take a vote. That vote's

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been taken on that joke. You
can hate it. It's still a great

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joke because the laugh is still there. Dave Chappelle was playing Canyon tonight.

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The Sudden Show was announced less than
forty eight hours before. The gig caught

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many Kenyans by surprise, with many
expressing regret it not being able to attempt

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the Icon's maiden performance at the Lewis
Leaky Auditorium due to the abrupt ticketing.

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Tickets were going for seven thousand local
currency units. A source told The Nairobi

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News. The small and intimate venue, I almost read it as Jerry.

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The small and innimate venue was a
condition set by day. He even wanted

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it to be a smaller audience of
a hundreds, so even three hundred was

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a push. It's funny, I
U Nairobi news source sounds more like Jerry

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than my Cherry did. I'm awful
today. I'm trying a local comedian.

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Sea Room Wangi said, I will
be one of two opening acts for Dave

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Chappelle. Even my wildest dreams,
I had not seen this. The other

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opener, Lusavalli added as a comic, this isn't even in your wildest streams.

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But this Wednesday, I'm open for
Dave Chappelle and Nairobi, Kenya believe

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the hype cause that dot Com spoke
to Josh Blue, who's a really cool

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dude. I met him. It's
got to be over a decade now,

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but he was really cool. His
girlfriend is experiencing unusual vision problems. Josh

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said, we try to figure out
what it was, and it evolved and

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now the bit is, oh,
my vision is getting worse than a can't

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pinpoint when it started. But shortly
after the solar eclipse, he says,

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Jokes can come out of anything.
My girlfriend going blind should not be funny.

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Newsweek published I'll call it a garbage
article, but I need one more

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story today. The headline Joe Rogan
slams his producer during podcast Oh No,

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What could have possibly happened? Newsweek
tells this. Joe's there. He's talking

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to two guests and they're about fifty
minutes in. The guests are talking about

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the possibility of artificial intelligence detecting human
suffering. Rogan then cut into a complaint

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to produc her young Jamie. Rogan
said, you know what I'm suffering,

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Jamie. This coffee sucks. I
don't know what happened, but you made

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it. It's literally like almost like
water. Can we get some more?

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Rogan then poured the contents out of
his mug, told this guests, We're

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gonna talk about this after I'm caffeinated
up. This is the worst coffee I've

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ever had. It's like half strength
or something. I don't know what happened.

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This is Newsweek. I'm sourcing Newsweek. This is an article in Newsweek.

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Who tell us that the trio then
settled back into the conversation. However,

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ten minutes later, Rogan said,
Jamie, this is still super watered

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down. Jamie said he had just
put water in and advised Joe Rogan to

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let the coffee sit for a second, Rogan said, I'm telling you dog.

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Jamie said, there's a ton of
coffee in there. Rogan said,

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all right, I'll stir it up. I we'll figure it out. Some

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TV fore to watch. I'm catching
up on the new season of Hacks,

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really digging it so far. I
think I'm three episodes in. I'm up

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to the one that is about late
Night. That's all you need to know

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about that one. I wanted to
watch tires. I logged into Netflix,

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where I tried to log in in
Netflix. The entire family was home and

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Netflix was like, too many people
logged in. Sucks to be you.

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So I went back to watching Hacks. Let's check in with Jim Gaffigan,

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who you could just hear all the
coolness and you know, he wasn't exactly

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the funds, but all the coolness
just sucking out of him every time he

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promotes this bourbon. He was on
with Rich Ice and let's listen. So

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this is father Time Bourbon, Father
Time Bourbon. And by the way,

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each you know, like Burt by
the way, Burton Tom's vodka, everyone

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should buy that. But this is
a different thing. This is a limited

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batch. This is I was approached
to do a celebrity spirit a couple of

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times. Uh huh, and I
was like, I was worried because sometimes

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the celebrity spirits aren't good. And
I also didn't want it to appear like

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a cash grab. Yeah, we
don't want to make it seem like a

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cash grab, Jim. We don't
want that to happen. That would be

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terrible if anybody got that impression.
And so I called a friend after the

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last time I was pitched, and
I was like, from Louisville, from

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college, and I was like,
can't we just buy a couple of barrels

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and do our own? He goes, yeah, we could. I mean,

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it might be a pain in the
ass and you might lose money,

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though we can do it. I
ninety five ask comedian Greg Stone about his

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opinion on the totally non existent pizza
war. DJ Dave said, you're originally

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from New Jersey, you live in
Queens, and you work in Connecticut.

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We here in Connecticut had a congressional
delegation from New Haven right now down in

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DC trying to say that Connecticut makes
the best pizza the United States have You

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had the New York and you fire
up over this debate. I can't even

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speak. I'm realizing, right before
I did this first world problem, I

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was cleaning pollen off the pool.
That's what's going on here. All right,

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this is a mess today. I
get it, okay. Greg Stone

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is responding to who has the best
pizza. Greg says, I'm gonna not

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be funny here. I'm gonna be
very serious. This is what makes me

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furious. The best pizza is such
a dumb thing. Everything has to be

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a competition. Everything exists, and
it's amazing. New York pizza is unbelievable.

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People will crap on Chicago, Connecticut
is unbelievable pizza. My favorite place

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is this spot called Bar. They
have this mashed potato pie in New Haven.

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Unbelievable. But they don't have to
fight. It doesn't have to fight

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a deep dish. I had this
conversation the other night with Glenn when we

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went to the Rolling Stone's concert.
We were talking about this exact thing.

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Chicago pizza awesome, New York City
pizza awesome. They're not at all the

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same thing. We can enjoy both. Greg Stone says, it doesn't have

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to fight. Known as in Queen's
which is one of my favorite pizzas known

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as nineteen seventy seven. I'd put
it against almost anything. It's all great,

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and I think we should stop fighting
and we should come together and just

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be a pizza family. And that, because I'm losing my voice, is

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your comedy news for today, all
right. I feel bad that there was

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probably a better version of this podcast
to be done today, but I didn't

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even have my half assed Jerry sucks, all right, See tomorrow.