Jerry Seinfeld turns 70, White House Correspondents Dinner recap, plus Kill Tony

WEBVTT

1
00:00:03.160 --> 00:00:12.160
Callaroga Shark Media. Happy birthday.
Jerry Seinfeld is seventy today. We'll get

2
00:00:12.160 --> 00:00:15.240
to that. It was the White
House Correspondent's dinner. Jerry was not there.

3
00:00:15.359 --> 00:00:18.719
Colin Jost was your host. Let's
listen to some of his monologue.

4
00:00:18.760 --> 00:00:23.239
His delivery was quite deliberate, so
I have edited this for pacing. I

5
00:00:23.239 --> 00:00:25.559
didn't know you were going to show
up photos with me from high school.

6
00:00:26.640 --> 00:00:31.480
Yes, yeah, it's not really
fair. You can't do it for President

7
00:00:31.519 --> 00:00:36.079
Biden because the technology wasn't invented when
he was in high school. It's not

8
00:00:36.119 --> 00:00:41.920
really fair. Good evening, everyone. I'm Colin Jost, and I'll be

9
00:00:41.960 --> 00:00:46.439
delivering the Republican response. I'll be
honest with you. I don't have a

10
00:00:46.479 --> 00:00:49.439
lot of time. I need to
get back to New York because i'm jur

11
00:00:49.640 --> 00:00:55.960
number five on a big trial.
Trump's lawyer took one look at me and

12
00:00:55.960 --> 00:01:00.880
he's like, he's gotta be on
our side. Thank you Kelly for that

13
00:01:02.079 --> 00:01:11.040
very kind introduction. Mister President,
doctor Biden, Vice President Harris Doug Doug.

14
00:01:11.079 --> 00:01:14.840
As you can tell from all the
comments about my wife, I'm also

15
00:01:14.920 --> 00:01:29.159
used to being the second gentleman,
and I am honored to be here hosting

16
00:01:29.200 --> 00:01:33.959
what is, according to swing state
polls, the final White House Correspondence dinner.

17
00:01:34.799 --> 00:01:40.519
I hope that tonight will be a
night to remember for most of us.

18
00:01:44.359 --> 00:01:47.400
I was excited to be up here
on stage with President Biden to night,

19
00:01:47.640 --> 00:01:49.680
mostly to see if I could figure
out where Obama was pulling the strings

20
00:01:49.680 --> 00:01:57.959
from. I have to admit it's
not easy following President Biden. I mean,

21
00:01:57.959 --> 00:02:05.480
it's not always easy following what he's
saying. Like Jost, also mark

22
00:02:05.640 --> 00:02:07.680
the age of both candidates. This
is a good one. I'm not saying

23
00:02:07.719 --> 00:02:10.919
both candidates are old, but you
know, Jimmy Carter's out there thinking I

24
00:02:10.919 --> 00:02:15.240
could maybe win this thing. That's
great, Jost again, can we acknowledge

25
00:02:15.240 --> 00:02:17.280
how refreshing it is to see a
president of the United States an event that

26
00:02:17.319 --> 00:02:22.319
doesn't begin with a bailiff saying all
rise, that's awesome. Trump ignored the

27
00:02:22.360 --> 00:02:24.919
dinner for the most part on social
media. After one am, he jumped

28
00:02:24.960 --> 00:02:29.360
on truth social and wrote, the
White House Correspondence dinner was really bad.

29
00:02:29.479 --> 00:02:32.479
Colin Joe's bombed and Cricket Joe was
an absolute disaster. Doesn't get much worse

30
00:02:32.520 --> 00:02:36.400
than this, Oh, it does
get much worse. Than this. Let's

31
00:02:36.400 --> 00:02:39.319
listen to Matt Friend. Matt's been
in the news lately. His Trump is

32
00:02:39.479 --> 00:02:43.520
okay, but I can think of
at least three people who do a better

33
00:02:43.680 --> 00:02:49.400
Trump. They are Shane Gillis,
James Adomian, and James Austin Johnson,

34
00:02:49.520 --> 00:02:53.319
all much better. I'm gonna let
Friend go a little bit here. Tough

35
00:02:53.319 --> 00:02:57.719
for him, to be sure,
but the material is not great. I'll

36
00:02:57.800 --> 00:03:00.879
let this roll until he gets to
the joke that's being picked up on the

37
00:03:00.919 --> 00:03:04.599
news. I've also scoped this down
for pacing and just pain. I mean,

38
00:03:04.639 --> 00:03:07.520
this set is so rough. Jim
Gaffigan is like, can I come

39
00:03:07.560 --> 00:03:12.039
in and save this by hawking subourbon? All right, so third day in

40
00:03:12.039 --> 00:03:14.759
a row. I'm gonna tell you
you might want to hit thirty seconds skip

41
00:03:14.800 --> 00:03:17.680
twice. Matt Friend bombed. Let's
listen. I will tell you it is

42
00:03:17.719 --> 00:03:23.240
really a tremendous opportunity to be at
the most failed dinner anybody's ever seen.

43
00:03:23.280 --> 00:03:25.680
Great to see you, losers.
A lot of people say that, Hello

44
00:03:25.719 --> 00:03:29.759
everybody, why is it so quiet? What's happening? It's quieter than sleepy

45
00:03:29.840 --> 00:03:31.680
Joe? Hello Joe, how are
you great? To see you? We're

46
00:03:31.680 --> 00:03:35.199
going to debate, right, that's
what they're saying. There's a lot of

47
00:03:35.280 --> 00:03:39.639
stars here. There's a lot of
great people. There's Scarlett Johannesburg. Scarlett

48
00:03:39.680 --> 00:03:43.680
is here from Black Widow. I
love the blacks, I really love the

49
00:03:43.680 --> 00:03:46.719
blacks. It's true. You have
a lot of people that could potentially be

50
00:03:46.840 --> 00:03:51.840
a vice president. You have Lara
Trump, who's a lot better than Rona

51
00:03:51.919 --> 00:03:54.080
McDonald. Who does it? Love
Rona McDonald? Right, I'm loving it.

52
00:03:54.599 --> 00:03:58.800
You like a happy meal, right, you like that, Bob.

53
00:03:58.919 --> 00:04:01.520
I will tell you this. You're
so tight, it's so uptight. Right,

54
00:04:02.400 --> 00:04:08.599
This dinner is sadder than Taylor Swift's
new album, The Tortured President's Department.

55
00:04:08.680 --> 00:04:11.039
Right, you look at him,
the white tuxio. It doesn't like

56
00:04:11.120 --> 00:04:14.719
me too much. Right, But
I will tell you the Chinese apps are

57
00:04:14.759 --> 00:04:17.639
being banned. It's horrible. We
have to post our David Pecker's on Snapchat.

58
00:04:17.720 --> 00:04:23.319
Now, that's what they're saying.
Let's face it, folks, I'm

59
00:04:23.360 --> 00:04:29.240
on fire right now, like the
guy outside the courthouse. Right, not

60
00:04:29.399 --> 00:04:33.480
soon enough, not soon enough.
But I will tell you I am killing

61
00:04:33.519 --> 00:04:40.800
this dinner harder than Christy Nome kills
the puppies. Moving on place, the

62
00:04:40.879 --> 00:04:45.240
President himself did some stand up.
Here's Joe the twenty twenty four elections in

63
00:04:45.279 --> 00:04:50.519
full, sweet and yes, age
is an issue. I'm a grown man

64
00:04:53.439 --> 00:04:57.879
running against a six year old.
Joe had more. He said, I've

65
00:04:57.920 --> 00:05:00.439
had a great stretch since the State
of the Union, but Donald does that

66
00:05:00.480 --> 00:05:03.519
a few rough days lately. You
might call it stormy weather. I see

67
00:05:03.519 --> 00:05:06.000
what you did there, Joe.
You know who else was there, Joe

68
00:05:06.079 --> 00:05:09.759
Koy. Yeah, it was weird. It was all of a sudden,

69
00:05:09.879 --> 00:05:13.639
Joe KOI got up there and he
told this just horrible, mean joke about

70
00:05:13.639 --> 00:05:15.680
Skyrol Swift. It didn't make any
sense at all in the middle of the

71
00:05:15.680 --> 00:05:19.839
White House correspondents dinner. But here's
Joe. We have fewer camera shots at

72
00:05:19.879 --> 00:05:26.199
Taylor Swift. Jerry Sidfeld is seventy
today. Happy birthday, Jerry. That

73
00:05:26.319 --> 00:05:29.600
makes me feel a million years old. But I'm like a one hundred thousand

74
00:05:29.639 --> 00:05:31.319
years old now, so I guess
it makes sense. Jerry, when he

75
00:05:31.360 --> 00:05:33.920
was on the Today Show recently,
was asked about his birthday and he said,

76
00:05:34.279 --> 00:05:36.480
I don't really have any interest in
it now. What it is,

77
00:05:36.720 --> 00:05:41.360
boy, I could really live a
lot less stuff things people activities. I'm

78
00:05:41.360 --> 00:05:45.160
not doing nothing anymore. In case
you missed it, Jerry's out promoting pop

79
00:05:45.199 --> 00:05:47.879
Tarts movie Unfrosted. I finally learned
the title of it. He's directing it

80
00:05:48.000 --> 00:05:51.680
or he did direct it directing.
Yeah, somebody's got to tell these people

81
00:05:51.720 --> 00:05:54.360
what to do. They asked him, do you want to do it?

82
00:05:54.439 --> 00:05:56.240
Or should we get someone else to
do it? And he said, I'll

83
00:05:56.240 --> 00:06:00.519
tell them. Big article in Variety
titled stand up comedian Tony hingecliff on defending

84
00:06:00.519 --> 00:06:04.839
Matt Rife, the Killed Tony Podcast
and never apologizing after using a racial slur

85
00:06:04.920 --> 00:06:09.000
back in twenty twenty one, Hinchcliffe
tells Variety, when you step into a

86
00:06:09.079 --> 00:06:11.920
dark, dingy comedy club, what
do you want to see? Think about

87
00:06:11.920 --> 00:06:14.680
it like a strip club. Do
you want to see girls in a dress?

88
00:06:14.759 --> 00:06:17.800
Or do you want to see nasty
things? You want ping pong balls

89
00:06:17.800 --> 00:06:21.040
flying at your head? Thanks for
that image from the Variety profile. Moving

90
00:06:21.079 --> 00:06:24.680
to La in two thousand and seven, Hinchcliffe made a name for himself a

91
00:06:24.680 --> 00:06:29.399
clubs for insulting both the audience and
other comics and being willing to broach any

92
00:06:29.439 --> 00:06:32.319
topic. He began opening for comics
like Joe Rogan and Jeff Ross. In

93
00:06:32.360 --> 00:06:36.560
twenty thirteen, he launched the wonderful
podcast Kill Tony. If you've never checked

94
00:06:36.560 --> 00:06:40.680
out Kill Tony, I like listening
to it. There's a video version as

95
00:06:40.680 --> 00:06:43.120
well. I kind of like listening
to it. It's the theater of the

96
00:06:43.120 --> 00:06:46.000
Mind of It. With co host
Brian Redman. The podcast is fame for

97
00:06:46.040 --> 00:06:49.120
its bucket of destiny, giving aspiring
and season comedians a shot at performing a

98
00:06:49.120 --> 00:06:53.560
stand up set for sixty seconds.
Receiving feedback from the judges. It is

99
00:06:53.600 --> 00:06:59.000
a wonderful podcast. In May twenty
twenty one, Hingecliff got into a little

100
00:06:59.319 --> 00:07:01.879
kerfluffle right. He says, a
racial slur heroled that fellow comedian in Asian

101
00:07:01.920 --> 00:07:06.079
American Pang Dang during a gig in
Austin catapulted him into a world win of

102
00:07:06.079 --> 00:07:10.839
backlash. The incident, caught on
video and put on social media, resulted

103
00:07:10.839 --> 00:07:14.319
in Hinchcliffe being dropped by his agency. Tony says number one rule is never

104
00:07:14.439 --> 00:07:17.399
apologize. He's leaned into it even
more. In October twenty twenty three,

105
00:07:17.519 --> 00:07:24.959
he went on a podcast called Triggernometry
and made some light comedic accusations, calling

106
00:07:25.040 --> 00:07:29.879
Dang a Chinese spy, further describing
the incident as an orchestrated attack by the

107
00:07:29.959 --> 00:07:34.560
Chinese media. Dang has responded saying
I thought most spuys gathered classified information related

108
00:07:34.600 --> 00:07:39.160
to science, technology, or government
affairs. Why would any country said a

109
00:07:39.160 --> 00:07:41.800
spy to be a stand up comedian? What kind of intelligence would I get

110
00:07:41.800 --> 00:07:45.720
from doing comedy? Asked him about
Netflix is a joke. The big festival

111
00:07:45.759 --> 00:07:47.879
that starts this week, Tony said, I'm looking forward to being the Netflix

112
00:07:47.920 --> 00:07:50.759
outlier. We surprise the industry when
we put our tickets on sale for the

113
00:07:50.759 --> 00:07:55.360
YouTube theater and they sold out in
a couple hours. Comedians are watching comedians

114
00:07:55.439 --> 00:07:58.240
do comedy on Kill Tony, I'm
using a pro wrestling model. Anything can

115
00:07:58.240 --> 00:08:01.839
happen, and it's ridiculously exciting.
You could watch someone's entire life change in

116
00:08:01.879 --> 00:08:05.199
front of your eyes. Everybody that
we pull out of that bucket has a

117
00:08:05.279 --> 00:08:07.720
chance. Yeah. It is a
fantastic podcast. Even me reading this to

118
00:08:07.720 --> 00:08:13.279
you today is encouraging me to catch
up on it. I'm so so way

119
00:08:13.319 --> 00:08:16.199
behind them on podcast so a lot
of times I'll listen to pods as I'm

120
00:08:16.240 --> 00:08:20.079
drifting off to sleep, and I
noticed it this week. I'm listening to

121
00:08:20.160 --> 00:08:24.120
things like three minutes at a time. I've been enjoying Joe Rogan talking to

122
00:08:24.120 --> 00:08:26.600
the guy that's trying to convince us
that the moon landing wasn't real. As

123
00:08:26.639 --> 00:08:30.920
I've explained before, I like listening
to Rogan as I drift off because if

124
00:08:30.920 --> 00:08:33.799
there's no yelling, there's no shouting, it's calm and concurrently to that,

125
00:08:35.159 --> 00:08:39.360
I can believe in the moon landing. Variety reports that Bow and Yang will

126
00:08:39.360 --> 00:08:43.639
start in a remake of The Wedding
banquety nineteen ninety three rom com Ellen Degenerous

127
00:08:43.679 --> 00:08:48.120
has complained that she's been kicked out
of show business for being mean. This

128
00:08:48.200 --> 00:08:50.639
part of her comedy tour. Ellen
is a pretty good stand up for at

129
00:08:50.720 --> 00:08:52.799
least was thirty years ago, so
she's back. Ellen said, I became

130
00:08:52.799 --> 00:08:56.960
this one dimensional character who gave stuff
away and danced up steps. Do you

131
00:08:56.039 --> 00:08:58.440
know how hard it is to dance
up steps? What a mean person dance

132
00:08:58.480 --> 00:09:01.440
up steps? Had I ended my
show by saying, go f yourself,

133
00:09:01.480 --> 00:09:05.720
people would have been presently surprised.
She reminds people she's been kicked out of

134
00:09:05.799 --> 00:09:09.440
entertainment before, when she came out
as gay in the nineties and joked,

135
00:09:09.480 --> 00:09:13.039
eventually it kicked me out for a
third time because I mean old and gay.

136
00:09:13.440 --> 00:09:16.720
Ellen says, I hated the way
that the show ended. I love

137
00:09:16.799 --> 00:09:18.200
that show so much, and I
just hated that the last time people would

138
00:09:18.200 --> 00:09:22.279
see me is in that way.
Ellen's last stand Dot Dot Dot Up Tour

139
00:09:22.759 --> 00:09:26.399
will eventually be a Netflix special.
That's cool, She'll tape that in the

140
00:09:26.440 --> 00:09:30.960
fall. Netflix is building excitement for
Beverly Hills Cop four, which is what

141
00:09:31.000 --> 00:09:33.000
we're all gonna call it, even
if they call it Beverly Hills Cop Colon

142
00:09:33.080 --> 00:09:37.879
axel F. There's a new promo. It features NFL quarterback Jared Golf sharing

143
00:09:37.960 --> 00:09:43.440
insights he gained from the character axel
Fully. That sounds so lame. Actually,

144
00:09:43.480 --> 00:09:46.480
I tried to pull the clip.
It actually was so lame. You

145
00:09:46.519 --> 00:09:48.759
would kind of hope Jim Gaffigan would
show up and start hawking bourbon. In

146
00:09:50.000 --> 00:09:54.799
Beverly Hills Cop four aka Beverly Hills
Cop Colon axel F, Eddie Murphy is

147
00:09:54.840 --> 00:09:58.159
axel Fully, who returns to California
after a long hiatus when his daughter fases

148
00:09:58.200 --> 00:10:03.080
a threat. Fully is pulled back
into the world of crime solving. Returning

149
00:10:03.080 --> 00:10:07.279
to Beverly Hills to investigate the mysterious
death of a close friend. The Sydney

150
00:10:07.320 --> 00:10:11.720
Comedy Festival A little light early in
the week. Tonight It's the Sydney Comedy

151
00:10:11.799 --> 00:10:16.759
Festival Showcase, a secret lineup promising
to bring the very finest comics from Australia

152
00:10:16.799 --> 00:10:22.720
and beyond, boasting both household names
and the next gen of comedy superstars.

153
00:10:22.120 --> 00:10:24.759
Let me tell you about Taylor Swift. No, no, not her,

154
00:10:26.200 --> 00:10:31.080
Taylor Jswift. This from people.
This Taylor Swift first learned of the singer

155
00:10:31.279 --> 00:10:33.080
when he was fifteen. He said, at first, I thought it was

156
00:10:33.120 --> 00:10:35.159
no big deal. She's a singer
with a hit song or two. This

157
00:10:35.200 --> 00:10:39.039
won't impact me. But I was
wrong. As time continued, I started

158
00:10:39.039 --> 00:10:41.960
to find it frustrating. I was
just a kid trying to live my life

159
00:10:43.000 --> 00:10:46.120
and now is sharing a name with
a big singer. Additionally, I just

160
00:10:46.159 --> 00:10:48.720
moved back to Ohio with my dad, so as the new kid at school

161
00:10:48.720 --> 00:10:52.080
with the name Taylor Swift. To
top it off, I had ad Justin

162
00:10:52.120 --> 00:10:54.759
Bieber haircut, eyed glasses, and
I was on the debate team. It

163
00:10:54.840 --> 00:10:58.279
was not a fun time. He
contemplated going by TJ in abbreviation of his

164
00:10:58.279 --> 00:11:03.000
first middle name. But this Taylor
Swift eventually realized I was given this name

165
00:11:03.039 --> 00:11:05.799
for a reason, and I'm gonna
grow and become whom I meant to become

166
00:11:05.799 --> 00:11:09.639
with it. Now, what's weird
is Joe Coy made a joke about Taylor

167
00:11:09.720 --> 00:11:13.919
J. Swift's I don't know why
he did this. It's so random that

168
00:11:13.000 --> 00:11:16.039
Joe Coy would make fun of some
dude in Ohio. And it's a little

169
00:11:16.039 --> 00:11:20.039
bit mean. Let's listen, big
difference between the Golden Gloves and the NFL.

170
00:11:20.519 --> 00:11:24.639
On the Golden Gloves, we have
fewer camera shots of Taylor Swift.

171
00:11:26.200 --> 00:11:30.360
Some of you are laughing right now, and some of you wanna throw pies

172
00:11:30.399 --> 00:11:33.480
in my direction. It's fun.
Come on, it's a fun joke,

173
00:11:33.159 --> 00:11:35.399
Taylor J. Swift says. When
I do interviews with the press, I

174
00:11:35.399 --> 00:11:39.519
asked them to please quote me as
Taylor J. Swift, so no one

175
00:11:39.559 --> 00:11:41.039
confuses me with the pop singer.
Don't worry about it. We can tell

176
00:11:41.039 --> 00:11:46.559
the difference that way. No one
wonders why Taylor Swift is speaking on congressional

177
00:11:46.600 --> 00:11:50.679
modernization and oversight. I also include
the JA on my business cards or when

178
00:11:50.679 --> 00:11:54.080
applying to jobs to avoid confusion.
Again here at Starbucks, we didn't think

179
00:11:54.120 --> 00:11:58.000
Taylor Swift was applying to be a
barista jay. For example, this past

180
00:11:58.039 --> 00:12:01.200
weekend, I booked a reservation for
two under the name Taylor Swift. I

181
00:12:01.200 --> 00:12:05.399
could tel a. Hosts seemed a
bit disappointed when I showed up like normal.

182
00:12:05.480 --> 00:12:07.600
They joked about how it was in
the real tailor Swift. So I

183
00:12:07.679 --> 00:12:09.799
just laughed and said, I hear
it all the time, but I just

184
00:12:09.840 --> 00:12:15.080
shake it off. Taylor J.
Swift is actually funnier than Jim gaffickan hawking

185
00:12:15.120 --> 00:12:18.120
bourbon. We don't do that here
at Father Time. And that is your

186
00:12:18.159 --> 00:12:22.440
comedy news for today. Check out
the Ballot podcast. A lot going on

187
00:12:22.519 --> 00:12:26.039
White House Correspondence Dinner. There's this
whole trial thing, so check that out.

188
00:12:26.039 --> 00:12:30.279
We're putting that out every day.
And if you want the episodes add

189
00:12:30.440 --> 00:12:35.279
free click the subscriptions option. There
has it been explaining The regular show goes

190
00:12:35.320 --> 00:12:37.679
live at three h five am Eastern
and then you get the ad free version

191
00:12:37.679 --> 00:12:41.399
available in the feed. When I
get up and load it, I can't

192
00:12:41.399 --> 00:12:43.159
load it in advance. It's annoying. It's made of my existence. And

193
00:12:43.159 --> 00:12:48.039
then everything heading backwards will be commercial
free and the other show's on the network

194
00:12:48.039 --> 00:12:50.000
commercial free. Like, if you
want mid ballot commercial free, do the

195
00:12:50.039 --> 00:12:54.399
subscription thing five dollars a month.
It's like buying me a coffee, except

196
00:12:54.440 --> 00:12:58.120
you had all these and free podcasts. Isn't that amazing? Yes it is. See tomorrow