July 29, 2026

Larry the Cable Guy Was Hospitalized

Larry the Cable Guy Was Hospitalized

Johnny Mac opens with a clip of comedian Tommy Kang doing a Rodney Dangerfield-style set about being Chinese, family insults, and a Taiwan joke, then reports Larry the Cable Guy was hospitalized in Lincoln, Nebraska with appendicitis, had it removed after two days, and is recovering at home after posting a humorous update. He critiques comedy at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner, citing Variety’s take on Trump’s nervous delivery and weak material. From Just for Laughs in Montreal, he shares remarks and jokes from honorees including Gabriel Iglesias, Lisa Gilroy, Chris Fleming, Atsuko Okatsuka, and Bruce Hills receiving the JFL Legacy Tribute Award with taped tributes. Other notes include Tracy Morgan’s Paramount+ show ending, Dan Harmon saying Chevy Chase’s Community-movie involvement isn’t his call, late-night ratings updates, and Billboard’s June comedy Boxscore led by Nate Bargatze, with Matt Rife, Weird Al, Jim Gaffigan, and Peter Kay also listed.

00:15 Tommy Kang Clip
01:32 Larry Cable Guy Update
02:21 Trump Dinner Joke
03:33 Just for Laughs Awards
05:56 Bruce Hills Tribute
07:31 Quick Comedy Notes
08:11 Late Night Ratings
10:54 Kimmel Contract Gossip
12:10 Top Touring Comics
13:00 Weird Al


Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/daily-comedy-news-with-johnny-mac--4522158/support.

Daily Comedy News with Johnny Mac is a daily podcast covering comedians, stand-up comedy, late night television, and the comedy industry. New episodes every morning. Follow on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen. Part of the Caloroga Shark Media network.

Contact John at John@thesharkdeck dot com

For Uninterrupted Listening, use the Apple Podcast App and click the banner that says Uninterrupted Listening. $4.99/month

John's Substack about media is free.

This is the animal sanctuary mentioned in the February 10 episode.

WEBVTT

1
00:00:03.200 --> 00:00:09.519
Caloroga Shark Media.

2
00:00:10.320 --> 00:00:13.759
We'll start today with Chinese Rodney Dingerfield. Hi, I'm Johnny

3
00:00:13.759 --> 00:00:17.160
Mack with your daily comedy news. This is comedian Tommy King.

4
00:00:17.399 --> 00:00:20.079
I stumbled across this on the internet and I just

5
00:00:20.160 --> 00:00:23.960
find this really funny picture. Somebody who looks like their

6
00:00:24.039 --> 00:00:25.719
ancestry is Chinese.

7
00:00:25.920 --> 00:00:29.440
Hey, what a beautiful crowd. How we doing? How are

8
00:00:29.440 --> 00:00:30.760
we doing? Hey?

9
00:00:30.879 --> 00:00:35.280
Nijoma naijma. Huh yeah, that's how we say hello. Where

10
00:00:35.280 --> 00:00:37.679
I'm from, you know, from China. And let me tell you,

11
00:00:38.119 --> 00:00:39.920
Oh boy, real rough in China.

12
00:00:39.960 --> 00:00:41.679
I tell you. You know I'm Chinese.

13
00:00:41.759 --> 00:00:45.159
You know, so I'm hes uh usually got Chinese parents.

14
00:00:45.240 --> 00:00:47.479
Huh Oh. Let me tell you about my Chinese parents.

15
00:00:47.600 --> 00:00:48.679
Uh oh they hate me.

16
00:00:48.759 --> 00:00:51.799
Yeah, now, Chinese parents, they hate me. When I was

17
00:00:51.799 --> 00:00:53.840
growing up, we had a one child policy, you know,

18
00:00:55.039 --> 00:00:56.679
so my parents have another kid just so they could

19
00:00:56.679 --> 00:00:57.200
get rid of me.

20
00:00:58.079 --> 00:01:01.000
Hey there, Homa there.

21
00:01:00.880 --> 00:01:04.760
Homah, all right, all right, Hey, you know my family,

22
00:01:04.799 --> 00:01:06.200
you know they think I'm ugly. Let me tell you

23
00:01:06.239 --> 00:01:07.239
they think I'm really ugly.

24
00:01:07.400 --> 00:01:07.760
You know.

25
00:01:07.840 --> 00:01:10.599
They make me wear a mask even when I'm not sick. Hey,

26
00:01:10.719 --> 00:01:15.040
all right, tough crowd, tough crowd. Now oma noijmah al right,

27
00:01:15.280 --> 00:01:18.000
all right, huh hey, let me tell you this about

28
00:01:18.040 --> 00:01:18.400
my family.

29
00:01:18.439 --> 00:01:20.920
You know, they got no boundaries. Uh, they got no boundaries.

30
00:01:20.959 --> 00:01:22.840
You know that I was trying to come for my stuff.

31
00:01:22.840 --> 00:01:24.439
I'll tell you, you know, tell me what to do and

32
00:01:24.480 --> 00:01:26.760
take all my things, you know, like my career, my kids,

33
00:01:26.799 --> 00:01:27.280
my job.

34
00:01:27.480 --> 00:01:28.799
Who they think I am Taiwan.

35
00:01:29.280 --> 00:01:33.040
Oh, very very funny. I had a scare. I was

36
00:01:33.079 --> 00:01:35.840
prepping the show and I saw the words Larry Cable

37
00:01:36.000 --> 00:01:38.239
Guy hospital and I was like, oh no, I hope

38
00:01:38.280 --> 00:01:41.920
he's okay. He is okay. Larry the Cable Guy went

39
00:01:41.959 --> 00:01:45.359
on social media to update fans. Cable Guy had been

40
00:01:45.400 --> 00:01:48.799
hospitalized in Lincoln, Nebraska, late last week. He was later

41
00:01:48.920 --> 00:01:52.959
diagnosed with appendicitis. He was released on Saturday on Facebook,

42
00:01:53.000 --> 00:01:55.200
Cable Guy road getting a lot of messages. So just

43
00:01:55.200 --> 00:01:56.920
to let you know, I'm all good. I had major

44
00:01:56.959 --> 00:01:59.280
stomach pain and it turns out I had a pendicitis.

45
00:01:59.319 --> 00:02:01.000
It was removed after two days in the hospital and

46
00:02:01.000 --> 00:02:03.840
I'm home and recovering. Pretty sore, but vital's good. My

47
00:02:03.920 --> 00:02:07.280
butt looks fantastic and now just taking stool softeners, which

48
00:02:07.319 --> 00:02:08.879
is giving me an urge to go to my mom's

49
00:02:08.879 --> 00:02:11.719
assisted living facility and play bingo with their gals. I

50
00:02:11.759 --> 00:02:13.840
appreciate all the nice notes. I don't know who ratted

51
00:02:13.879 --> 00:02:15.560
me out down there, but this is the most press

52
00:02:15.560 --> 00:02:18.439
I've received since we announced Lightning Racers on Disney Junior

53
00:02:18.439 --> 00:02:21.400
coming in September. Love you all, Glad you're doing okay, Larry,

54
00:02:21.919 --> 00:02:25.400
The Presidents of the United States performed some comedy at

55
00:02:25.400 --> 00:02:29.039
the White House Correspondent's Dinner. He managed to make more

56
00:02:29.120 --> 00:02:32.560
solo Hernandez look like George Corlin. Let's listen.

57
00:02:33.039 --> 00:02:35.599
The other day, a senator I knew got a text

58
00:02:35.639 --> 00:02:40.159
a great guy from his wife, and she said, when

59
00:02:40.159 --> 00:02:43.360
you get home, I wanna have you immediately.

60
00:02:42.759 --> 00:02:46.840
Come upstairs and make love to me. And he said,

61
00:02:47.439 --> 00:02:48.360
I can't do both.

62
00:02:49.439 --> 00:02:53.360
You know what you know? In other words, AH can't

63
00:02:53.360 --> 00:02:56.080
go up the stairs and make love. Does anybody get that?

64
00:02:56.080 --> 00:02:57.680
Well? I thought that was actually pretty good.

65
00:02:58.120 --> 00:03:00.000
That was actually the only thing I thought was good

66
00:03:00.080 --> 00:03:02.199
in this whole freaking stupid speech.

67
00:03:01.960 --> 00:03:05.159
That they wrote. That was the only good one, And

68
00:03:05.240 --> 00:03:07.840
that went down with not exactly great laughter.

69
00:03:08.639 --> 00:03:09.280
I thank you know.

70
00:03:09.319 --> 00:03:10.960
In other words, you can't go up the stairs and

71
00:03:11.000 --> 00:03:14.240
make left two Okila, So we're looking for term limits.

72
00:03:14.240 --> 00:03:15.439
Does anybody understand?

73
00:03:15.520 --> 00:03:18.680
His Variety wrote there was an air of flop sweat

74
00:03:18.719 --> 00:03:22.000
to the evening, like any inept mc Trump began blaming

75
00:03:22.080 --> 00:03:26.360
unnamed joke writers for basic material, light sub friars, club material,

76
00:03:26.479 --> 00:03:30.520
lovingly roasting his allies Nicki Minaj and Barry Weiss falling flat,

77
00:03:30.560 --> 00:03:33.800
but his own delivery seemed oddly nervous. At Just for

78
00:03:33.879 --> 00:03:37.479
Laughs last week, one of the awards went to Gabe Iglesias,

79
00:03:37.520 --> 00:03:39.639
who said, if I can leave you with anything, it's

80
00:03:39.680 --> 00:03:41.879
due comedy because you love it. Don't expect to be paid.

81
00:03:41.919 --> 00:03:43.400
If you're looking to be paid, you're doing it for

82
00:03:43.439 --> 00:03:46.000
the wrong reason. Do it because it makes you feel

83
00:03:46.000 --> 00:03:47.599
good to be on stage in front of people, making

84
00:03:47.639 --> 00:03:50.960
people smile, making people laugh, making people forget, making people

85
00:03:50.960 --> 00:03:53.039
feel good. And if you do that, well, you're gonna

86
00:03:53.080 --> 00:03:54.560
drive a nice car one day. But don't be in

87
00:03:54.599 --> 00:03:58.080
a rush. The Olive Reporter adds that at the ceremonies

88
00:03:58.080 --> 00:04:00.280
there were some jokes about the new version of Just

89
00:04:00.319 --> 00:04:03.719
for Laughs being very diligent about balancing the books. The

90
00:04:03.800 --> 00:04:07.120
previous owners had gotten into some trouble. Lisa Gilroy said,

91
00:04:07.120 --> 00:04:08.599
I got here last night and they're pushing me out

92
00:04:08.599 --> 00:04:11.560
in the morning. She was there as Rising Comedy Star

93
00:04:11.719 --> 00:04:14.280
of the Year. She said, I'm really honored to receive

94
00:04:14.319 --> 00:04:16.360
this award, and I make comedy for the same reason

95
00:04:16.439 --> 00:04:18.199
so many of us in the room make comedy because

96
00:04:18.240 --> 00:04:21.040
we're deeply, deeply mentally ill and nothing will ever fix that.

97
00:04:21.079 --> 00:04:24.639
Maybe this will help. Chris Fleming, receiving the Comedy Performance

98
00:04:24.720 --> 00:04:27.120
of the Year, said I do love it here in Montreal.

99
00:04:27.160 --> 00:04:28.639
It feels like the last place on earth that will

100
00:04:28.680 --> 00:04:31.399
get driverless cars. By one note about Montreal, though, if

101
00:04:31.439 --> 00:04:34.519
I was an acting teacher, I'd say the performance of

102
00:04:34.560 --> 00:04:36.839
French rings false. I don't buy it. There's an awareness

103
00:04:36.839 --> 00:04:38.680
of the audience that feels a lot like when Austin

104
00:04:38.680 --> 00:04:42.519
Butler played Elvis Pause. I hear tepid laughs from the balcony.

105
00:04:42.800 --> 00:04:46.120
Ots go at Kotska. The Breakout Comedian of the Year, well,

106
00:04:46.160 --> 00:04:48.399
she said. I looked up the definition of to break

107
00:04:48.439 --> 00:04:51.759
out dictionary dot Com said, a violent and or forceful

108
00:04:51.839 --> 00:04:54.519
break from a restraining conditioner situation. I didn't know I

109
00:04:54.519 --> 00:04:57.399
had it this bad before this really, as comedians were

110
00:04:57.439 --> 00:04:59.480
seen as the weirdos of the industry, the raccoons of

111
00:04:59.480 --> 00:05:02.120
Hollywood basement dwellers of show business. And these are just

112
00:05:02.160 --> 00:05:03.879
some of the things I've said about us, So imagine

113
00:05:03.920 --> 00:05:06.639
what other things others might be saying, and still we rise.

114
00:05:07.399 --> 00:05:10.839
Otsgo also talked about making history. Is only the second

115
00:05:10.959 --> 00:05:14.120
Asian American females who get an HBO comedy special. Back

116
00:05:14.160 --> 00:05:17.839
in twenty twenty two, she told The Hollywood Reporter, twenty

117
00:05:17.879 --> 00:05:20.439
seven years between us the US being Margaret Show in

118
00:05:20.480 --> 00:05:22.560
nineteen ninety four. That's way too long. And there hasn't

119
00:05:22.560 --> 00:05:24.240
been a third one yet and mine was only four

120
00:05:24.279 --> 00:05:27.480
years ago. She credits her social media presence with more

121
00:05:27.480 --> 00:05:30.560
than five million followers for knocking down barriers. With the Internet.

122
00:05:30.639 --> 00:05:32.879
Stand up comedy was able to boom because people speak

123
00:05:32.920 --> 00:05:35.480
when they find their favorite comedians. That's why I'm able

124
00:05:35.480 --> 00:05:38.360
to tour internationally in many countries that other American comedians

125
00:05:38.360 --> 00:05:40.720
don't perform in or don't even know how to perform in.

126
00:05:41.279 --> 00:05:43.199
It's the clips of my specials that I posted on

127
00:05:43.240 --> 00:05:45.240
my social media sites that went viral, and those are

128
00:05:45.240 --> 00:05:47.279
the ones that are massed over one hundred million views,

129
00:05:47.360 --> 00:05:49.480
far more than people who turn on the actual HBO

130
00:05:49.560 --> 00:05:52.160
special and watch it in its entirety. I was always

131
00:05:52.160 --> 00:05:53.519
going to have to be on the internet, even if

132
00:05:53.519 --> 00:05:55.160
I wanted to talk to my own family, So it

133
00:05:55.240 --> 00:05:58.560
just worked out that way. Gave Iglesias return to the stage.

134
00:05:58.600 --> 00:06:01.680
He introduced Bruce Hill, who used to run JFL programming

135
00:06:01.680 --> 00:06:03.560
and Bruce is a friend of mine. Bruce received the

136
00:06:03.639 --> 00:06:07.040
JFL Legacy Tribute Award. Gabe joked, I'm basically here because

137
00:06:07.079 --> 00:06:09.319
Dave Chappelle said no, Bill Burce said know, Kevin Hart

138
00:06:09.399 --> 00:06:12.160
said know. So in keeping with tradition, here's another Mexican

139
00:06:12.199 --> 00:06:15.480
doing a job nobody else wanted. Gabe thanked Bruce Hills

140
00:06:15.519 --> 00:06:17.879
for giving him a career break when inviting him to

141
00:06:17.920 --> 00:06:21.079
appear at the Montreal Comedy Festival, saying of Bruce, so

142
00:06:21.120 --> 00:06:23.920
many shows, so many years, so many opportunities that you've given,

143
00:06:23.920 --> 00:06:26.160
not only to myself but to other comedians over the years.

144
00:06:26.160 --> 00:06:29.120
You've always been kind, You've always been gracious. I worked

145
00:06:29.120 --> 00:06:31.480
with Bruce when I was at Sirius. We did a

146
00:06:31.560 --> 00:06:34.279
deal with Sirius, and just for laughs, I covered the

147
00:06:34.399 --> 00:06:38.600
festival for serious working with Bruce and his team. His

148
00:06:38.680 --> 00:06:41.120
team back then included Robbie Prau, who I also worked

149
00:06:41.160 --> 00:06:44.480
with Robbie now runs Netflix comedy. Anyway, Bruce was always

150
00:06:44.560 --> 00:06:47.600
kind to me, and then even after I was out

151
00:06:47.639 --> 00:06:49.639
of serious and you know, just a guy doing a

152
00:06:49.639 --> 00:06:52.240
podcast in the basement, Bruce still took care of me

153
00:06:52.680 --> 00:06:55.279
just the same as if you know. That's one of

154
00:06:55.279 --> 00:06:57.560
the things about show business. There's two kinds of people.

155
00:06:57.639 --> 00:06:59.240
There are the people that only deal with you when

156
00:06:59.240 --> 00:07:01.800
you can help them, and then there are decent people

157
00:07:01.839 --> 00:07:05.519
like Bruce Hills. So Bruce, congratulations. Also, Larry the cable guy.

158
00:07:05.519 --> 00:07:07.360
You've heard Larry on this show. Larry doesn't need to

159
00:07:07.360 --> 00:07:09.240
do this show. Larry does this show because we've been

160
00:07:09.240 --> 00:07:12.319
friends for twenty five years. Bruce Hills did get taped

161
00:07:12.439 --> 00:07:15.839
video tributes from Chappelle, Kevin Hart, and some other comedy veterans.

162
00:07:16.319 --> 00:07:20.319
Bruce recalled joining just for laughs at age nineteen. He said,

163
00:07:20.399 --> 00:07:22.879
Jerry Lewis and Sander Bernhard hated each other. That's the

164
00:07:22.879 --> 00:07:25.319
biggest lesson I learned over thirty nine years. Success is

165
00:07:25.360 --> 00:07:27.720
never about one person. It's about you. It's about the comics.

166
00:07:27.920 --> 00:07:30.040
Do you believe the team you built the people around

167
00:07:30.079 --> 00:07:34.439
you to make you better? Couple quick notes Tracy Morgan

168
00:07:34.480 --> 00:07:37.120
if you like his TV show cretch, Well, you're not

169
00:07:37.120 --> 00:07:40.519
getting another season. There was one eight episode season that

170
00:07:40.680 --> 00:07:44.000
was on Paramount Plus. However, he still has that Reggie

171
00:07:44.079 --> 00:07:47.120
Ninked show on NBC if you need more Tracy Morgan. Meanwhile,

172
00:07:47.199 --> 00:07:50.680
Dan Harman is thankful that the decision about the Community

173
00:07:50.720 --> 00:07:52.600
movie and whether or not Chevy Chase should be in

174
00:07:52.639 --> 00:07:55.879
it is not his to make. He told the Obsessed podcast,

175
00:07:56.199 --> 00:07:57.879
It's not up to me, which I think is a

176
00:07:57.959 --> 00:08:00.879
nice thing. I wasn't on season five when the legend

177
00:08:00.920 --> 00:08:03.759
really hit the fan, but there were consequences. Those consequences

178
00:08:03.800 --> 00:08:05.360
have to do with other people feeling safe in a

179
00:08:05.399 --> 00:08:07.600
workplace that I create, and I was never a great

180
00:08:07.600 --> 00:08:09.519
at that in the first place, and thank god, this

181
00:08:09.680 --> 00:08:15.839
is not up to me. Jimmy Kimmel took the summer off,

182
00:08:15.879 --> 00:08:19.279
but Jimmy Kimmel Alive held on to first place this

183
00:08:19.439 --> 00:08:22.879
for the week of July twelfth, However, Jimmy Fallon Who's

184
00:08:22.959 --> 00:08:26.399
Working gaining for the week of July twelfth, Jimmy Kimmel

185
00:08:26.439 --> 00:08:29.399
Alive without Jimmy Kimmel average one point five seven nine

186
00:08:29.439 --> 00:08:32.159
million total viewers and in the eighteen to forty nine

187
00:08:32.240 --> 00:08:34.919
s one hundred and sixty four thousand people. Oh, that

188
00:08:35.039 --> 00:08:37.600
is just not a lot of people. Tonight show one

189
00:08:37.600 --> 00:08:40.759
point four five six million viewers and one hundred and

190
00:08:40.840 --> 00:08:43.960
sixty one thousand adults eighteen to forty nine. Late Nighter

191
00:08:44.000 --> 00:08:45.720
points out. If you do the math, there's only one

192
00:08:45.759 --> 00:08:49.399
hundred and twenty three thousand total viewers separating Kimmel as

193
00:08:49.480 --> 00:08:52.639
Kimmel and Jimmy Fallon, and only three thousand in the

194
00:08:52.720 --> 00:08:56.559
key demo. Fallon gained twenty five percent total viewers and

195
00:08:56.600 --> 00:08:59.879
ten percent among adults eighteen to forty nine. Jimmy k

196
00:09:00.039 --> 00:09:03.480
I'm Alive without Jimmy Kimmel meanwhile fell fourteen percent total

197
00:09:03.559 --> 00:09:06.120
viewers and twenty eight percent in the demo. It was

198
00:09:06.240 --> 00:09:09.840
guest hosted by Ike Baron Holtz and aired four original

199
00:09:09.879 --> 00:09:13.440
episodes with one repeat. The Ike week did worse than

200
00:09:13.440 --> 00:09:17.200
the week before, which was hosted by Tiffany Hattish. I'd

201
00:09:17.200 --> 00:09:19.279
tell Jimmy Kimmel to check the mirror, but he's not

202
00:09:19.360 --> 00:09:22.879
working this summer. Meanwhile, at twelve thirty, Make twelve thirty

203
00:09:22.879 --> 00:09:26.440
Great Again, seth Myers returned from a three week break,

204
00:09:26.440 --> 00:09:29.440
and people were so excited. There were four new original episodes.

205
00:09:29.919 --> 00:09:32.320
The show average nine hundred and twenty seven thousand total

206
00:09:32.399 --> 00:09:36.200
viewers and in the eighteen to forty nine s ninety

207
00:09:36.200 --> 00:09:39.120
eight thousand adults, up forty five percent from the repeats.

208
00:09:39.679 --> 00:09:43.000
Seth Myers beat out Nightline. How about that? Meanwhile on

209
00:09:43.080 --> 00:09:46.440
CBS Byron Allen, who, by the way, I checked out

210
00:09:46.879 --> 00:09:49.759
what's his name? What's his name? Was his name? Just

211
00:09:49.799 --> 00:09:51.799
got a Mark Twain Award. I could edit this all out,

212
00:09:51.799 --> 00:09:55.039
but that's not fun. Bill Maher, that's his name. That guy,

213
00:09:55.320 --> 00:09:57.960
he's got a podcast. I listened to the Byron Allen episode.

214
00:09:58.039 --> 00:10:00.360
I cave away thinking Byron Allen is just like an

215
00:10:00.440 --> 00:10:03.440
awesome guy. And if you like Johnny Carson, listen to

216
00:10:03.440 --> 00:10:06.039
Byron Allen tell some Johnny Carson stories. Just a really,

217
00:10:06.080 --> 00:10:09.519
really enjoyable episode of Bill Morris podcast. Right, how's the

218
00:10:09.519 --> 00:10:12.799
Byron Allen CBS thing? Doing? It? Drew six hundred and

219
00:10:12.879 --> 00:10:16.200
eighty seven thousand total viewers and seventy thousand adults eighteen

220
00:10:16.200 --> 00:10:20.279
to forty nine against seventy thousand. Isn't a lot, but it's,

221
00:10:20.480 --> 00:10:22.320
you know, more than a third of what the other

222
00:10:22.360 --> 00:10:24.879
two are getting. And CBS isn't trying and they're being paid,

223
00:10:24.919 --> 00:10:27.679
So who knows. Now at twelve thirty, they're running the

224
00:10:27.679 --> 00:10:30.559
Byron Allen funny you should ask four hundred ninety six

225
00:10:30.600 --> 00:10:33.039
thousand total viewers and in adults eighteen to forty nine

226
00:10:33.840 --> 00:10:37.120
fifty seven thousand adults. Again, Seth Myers was a show

227
00:10:37.120 --> 00:10:41.120
for some reason. Who's trying is getting ninety eight thousand adults.

228
00:10:41.639 --> 00:10:44.480
I'm not sure CBS is wrong in all this. I mean,

229
00:10:44.519 --> 00:10:48.559
they might be emotionally wrong. We kind of get the

230
00:10:48.600 --> 00:10:50.600
gist of what might have happened with Colbert there, but

231
00:10:50.679 --> 00:10:53.759
just in terms of pure math, they might not be crazy.

232
00:10:54.279 --> 00:10:57.840
Rob's Shooter has a gossip Colum called naughty but Nice.

233
00:10:57.879 --> 00:10:59.720
We use that a lot on the Palace Intrigued podcast,

234
00:10:59.759 --> 00:11:02.279
which I rate four. We talk about the royal family

235
00:11:02.279 --> 00:11:05.440
over on Palace Intrigue. He tends to do a lot

236
00:11:05.440 --> 00:11:08.039
of gossip, and all his stories have not one, not two,

237
00:11:08.120 --> 00:11:11.840
not four, but always three unnamed sources. Sources are never

238
00:11:11.919 --> 00:11:14.559
ever named. So take this with two grains of salt.

239
00:11:14.600 --> 00:11:17.639
The headline Jimmy Kimmel empowered after a huge ratings bump,

240
00:11:17.960 --> 00:11:22.440
ABC begging him to stay. A television insider tells naughty

241
00:11:22.440 --> 00:11:24.600
but Nice Jimmy was fully prepared to retire what his

242
00:11:24.639 --> 00:11:27.759
contract expires in May twenty twenty seven. Now ABC is

243
00:11:27.799 --> 00:11:31.720
practically begging him to reconsider. Another unnamed insider says, for

244
00:11:31.720 --> 00:11:34.279
the first time in years, Jimmy feels completely empowered. He's

245
00:11:34.279 --> 00:11:37.879
no longer negotiating from a position of uncertainty. He's negotiating

246
00:11:37.879 --> 00:11:41.320
from strength. A different source says everyone assumed foul and

247
00:11:41.360 --> 00:11:44.320
would benefit too. It never really happen. Viewers found Kimmel,

248
00:11:44.559 --> 00:11:48.519
not Jimmy. We'll see the insider ads. Jimmy loves reminding

249
00:11:48.519 --> 00:11:50.559
people he was ready to walk away. Now the network

250
00:11:50.600 --> 00:11:53.320
is the one doing the chasing. After more than two decades,

251
00:11:53.360 --> 00:11:56.919
he's finally got whatevery star wants real leverage. I don't

252
00:11:56.960 --> 00:11:59.759
see why he would walk away. He's fifty eight years old.

253
00:12:00.120 --> 00:12:02.320
You gotta do all day. You already have the summer off.

254
00:12:02.360 --> 00:12:04.639
You do four shows a week. You could probably cut

255
00:12:04.639 --> 00:12:06.679
that back a little. You could do guest hosts Monday

256
00:12:06.759 --> 00:12:09.279
or something. You could take a longer winter break. They

257
00:12:09.279 --> 00:12:12.000
can work this out with you. Meanwhile, bill Board has

258
00:12:12.039 --> 00:12:14.799
published the June Box Score Reporter. As we get to

259
00:12:14.799 --> 00:12:17.840
the end of July, here for the tenth time in

260
00:12:17.960 --> 00:12:23.480
fourteen months, Maggot comedian Nate Berghatzy is number one. You

261
00:12:23.480 --> 00:12:26.080
could see how much going to a UFC fight at

262
00:12:26.080 --> 00:12:29.120
the White House has damaged Magga comedian Nate Bergatsy's career.

263
00:12:29.440 --> 00:12:32.120
His ten shows in June grossed nine point nine million

264
00:12:32.159 --> 00:12:35.600
dollars and he sold one hundred and twenty seven thousand tickets.

265
00:12:36.159 --> 00:12:39.320
Your top five comedians are Peter Kay, who grossed two

266
00:12:39.360 --> 00:12:42.240
point one million dollars twenty three thousand, three hundred tickets.

267
00:12:42.440 --> 00:12:44.720
Jim Gaffigan, who if you help him early in his career,

268
00:12:44.759 --> 00:12:46.759
he won't call you back, not like Larry the Cable Guy.

269
00:12:47.240 --> 00:12:49.919
Jim gross two point three million dollars and sold twenty

270
00:12:50.360 --> 00:12:54.279
two hundred tickets across twelve shows. Weird Hew grossed five

271
00:12:54.480 --> 00:12:58.200
million dollars seventeen shows, seventy three seven hundred tickets. I

272
00:12:58.200 --> 00:13:01.559
didn't see anything about the un concert. Let's throw weird

273
00:13:01.720 --> 00:13:04.679
l into Google here real quick and not playing riod

274
00:13:04.720 --> 00:13:07.399
as eating up all the weird al press. Yep, but

275
00:13:07.399 --> 00:13:09.159
I don't see anything about Montreal. I guess I could

276
00:13:09.240 --> 00:13:13.240
add the word Montreal. Here we go from the suburban

277
00:13:13.320 --> 00:13:16.159
dot com weird al Yankovic. Wow's a jfl crowd at

278
00:13:16.240 --> 00:13:19.759
Place Day festivals. No real details there other than it

279
00:13:19.799 --> 00:13:22.840
was good and let's see the Montreal Gazette they talked

280
00:13:22.879 --> 00:13:25.360
to weird Al. They said that his concert was the

281
00:13:25.480 --> 00:13:28.240
highlights of the festival. Weird Al said, I'll tell Jerry

282
00:13:28.279 --> 00:13:31.440
Seinfeld you said that. My weird Awl search also turned

283
00:13:31.519 --> 00:13:33.879
up that weird Al had pitched a cover of Paul

284
00:13:33.919 --> 00:13:36.559
McCartney and Wings Live and Let Die, which would have

285
00:13:36.559 --> 00:13:40.639
been Chicken pot Pie. The LA time said. Paul said

286
00:13:40.639 --> 00:13:43.080
he couldn't endorse the song because Lynda McCartney, who passed

287
00:13:43.080 --> 00:13:45.600
away nineteen ninety eight, would never have supported a song

288
00:13:45.639 --> 00:13:49.200
that celebrates the killing of chickens. The lyrics and I'm

289
00:13:49.200 --> 00:13:50.639
not going to sing them, but I'll try and read

290
00:13:50.679 --> 00:13:54.240
them in cadence here. According to weird aw the lyrics

291
00:13:54.279 --> 00:13:57.120
would have been when we were young, Bernie's Deli was

292
00:13:57.159 --> 00:14:00.639
down the block. He made great liver Pat's head. But

293
00:14:00.679 --> 00:14:02.519
if there's one thing in this world that I like

294
00:14:02.559 --> 00:14:07.039
better than a corn beef on rye, it's chicken pot pie. Now,

295
00:14:07.039 --> 00:14:09.600
weird Awl apparently told ConA at one point Paul didn't

296
00:14:09.600 --> 00:14:11.240
want me to do it because he's strict vegetarian. He

297
00:14:11.279 --> 00:14:14.519
didn't want a parody that condone the consumption of animal flesh.

298
00:14:14.879 --> 00:14:17.600
He said, you could do something else, like tofu pot pie.

299
00:14:17.919 --> 00:14:20.000
Al said no, the courus of my song will be

300
00:14:20.240 --> 00:14:22.879
buck buck buck buck buck buck, and tofuo doesn't make

301
00:14:22.879 --> 00:14:25.840
any noise. It's not going to work. We digress. I

302
00:14:25.919 --> 00:14:29.000
was telling you who the top shows were. Remember it

303
00:14:29.120 --> 00:14:31.120
was Peter Kay and Jim Gaffkin and weird Owl was

304
00:14:31.200 --> 00:14:33.559
number three, number two, Matt Riife grows to five point

305
00:14:33.600 --> 00:14:37.120
four million dollars, fifty five thousand tickets, six shows, and

306
00:14:37.200 --> 00:14:41.240
number one Mega Comedian eight Perghatzy ten shows, one hundred

307
00:14:41.279 --> 00:14:44.320
twenty seven thousand tickets, nine point nine a million dollars.

308
00:14:44.360 --> 00:14:47.159
And that is your comedy news for today. We are

309
00:14:47.240 --> 00:14:49.159
back in the basement in case you don't you feel

310
00:14:49.159 --> 00:14:52.080
like where the cicadas the rains came. This is why

311
00:14:52.080 --> 00:14:54.840
when the weather's nice you do pool side editions, because

312
00:14:54.879 --> 00:14:56.879
the rains come and you wind up in the basement

313
00:14:56.879 --> 00:14:57.720
for three days in a row.

314
00:14:57.720 --> 00:14:58.360
See tomorrow.