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Callaroga Shark Media. Johnny Mack is Grouchie Today and Hello,
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I am Johnny Mack with your daily Comedy Newsy Daily
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briefing on stand up comedy comedians in the company industry,
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which is a freeze. You might say, if you were
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retraining the Spotify algorithm, but we don't have time for
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that right now. I don't know if you're aware. As
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we head to twenty twenty six, there are new rules
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for podcasters, and podcasters must broadcast all statements from the
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President of the United States. So let's get that out
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of the way, ladies, a gentleman, the President of the
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United States.
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All amigos, Joe sois sinolo precidento and Senor Donaldo. Jay Trumpell,
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your Expresidental Signor Maduro is no longer your Presidental. Anyway,
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we're gonna make Venezuela grande again, Muca grandell, bigger, yell,
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better than ever before.
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Late Night had a lot to say about that, Jimmy
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Kimmel said, after months of escalation, Trump decided Maduro how
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to go, And yeah, he's a criminal and a dictator
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who's driven his entry into financial ruin while he and
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his family of line their own pockets. But Madorio's no
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saint either. Great joke. Colbert said, Oh, Venezuela, evidently when
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he says in America first, he means alphabetically Jimmy Kimmel again,
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he can't even run the country he runs. This is
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like if J. C. Penny decided to buy Sears. Kimmel,
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if you're wondering how bad the Epstein files are and
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turns out there invade Venezuela bad. Great joke. Fallon said, Yeah,
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the news took everybody by surprise. When I heard there
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was an operation to extract a president. I just assumed
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Trump got stuck at his tanning bed. Fallin again, yep.
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Trump ordered the operation without getting congressional approval, and he
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watched it from a Mara a Lago situation room, which
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means there's a chance Vanilla Ice knew about the mission
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before Congress did. The President and I don't agree on
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all the issues. One of the issues we do agree
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on is make Late Night great again. And here's some
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more Kimmel versus Trump stuff, But on this one, I'm
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going to side with the President, and I'll tell you why.
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Kimmel was talking about the ratings for Trump hosting the
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Kennedy Center Honors, Kimmel said, after boasting what a great
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host he is and how much better he is than
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I am, and how huge his ratings would be. Trump
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hosted the lowest rated Kennedy Center Honors telecast of all time.
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Let me tell you something. I'd hate to be the
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White House intern who had to tear that headline out
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of all the papers and eat him. You know, as
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I recall, he would step down if this happened. He said,
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if I can't beat out Jimmy Kimmel, then I don't
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think I should be president. Well, hey, deal's a deal.
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Back to MORLOCKO you go. Now here's where I sided
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with the president. Jimmy Kimmel has never hosted the Kennedy
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Center Honors, so, as far as we know, Trump is
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indeed better at hosting the Kennedy Center Honors than Jimmy
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Kimmel is. Jimmy, You're gonna have to host the thing
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and see if you can beat him. Team Trump on
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that one. We'll get out of Late Night in a second.
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But Late Nighter did report that Jimmy Kimmel Live will
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only host the musical guests twice a week. I'm not
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a regular watcher of that show. Were they doing bands
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every night? That's crazy? Why would you do that even
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twice a week? Seems crazy. Back in the days of
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Late Night with David Letterman, I didn't like what he
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had bands on. Kimmel backstage at the Critics' Choice Awards
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said there will always be late nights shows, but discuss
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the evolution. There are some shows that are called late
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night talk shows that aren't late night talk shows, that
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still have the same format, and maybe we need a
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different term for them. But it seems to me it's
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one of the cheapest forms of broadcasting. CBS might disagree,
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and it would be very surprising to me if it
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went away entirely. CBS might disagree. Maybe it won't be
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as big, Maybe there won't be a big band welcoming
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the host of the stage, maybe there won't be fifteen writers.
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But I think there'll be some version of late night
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talk show, and in a way, maybe it'll be better
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because maybe there'll be more opportunities for more people of
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various backgrounds and ages and niche programming that I think
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it'd be a lot of fun to watch. New topic
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from my San Antonio Dot com They got my attention
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with this headline. A unicorn, a cow, and an Eric
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Cartman impersonator walk into a bar or protest outside a
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comedy club. It seems people down in Austin, Texas are
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not enjoying Joe Rogan operating a comedy club, and they're
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all wigged about it, and this is how they spent
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their New Year's Eve protesting the existence of Joe Rogan's
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comedy club. Reddit user apologize to the Bees posted a
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video of a crowd of peace people gathered outside Joe Rogan's
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comedy club, decked out in costumes with anti Rogan signs.
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The protesters were joined by people wearing a South park
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At Cartman costume, a Unicorn costume, and also an inflatable
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cow at Connor Cage twelve wrote funnier than anything inside
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the building. Another redtour wrote, I hated these a holes
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from out of state. Rogan moved in and claimed the
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entirety of the Austin comedy scene. The dude owns one
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comedy venue, not all of them. A different user encourages
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us to suport venues like Cold to Town and Camp City,
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adding keep Austin funny without Diet Alex Jones out today
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on Netflix. Marcelo Hernandez American Boy. At this point in
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the script, I would tell you some stuff about Marcelo Hernandez,
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but there didn't seem to be any advance press about it,
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and I did. Look, we'll see if Marcelo did anything today.
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There was a profile late December in the New York
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Times that was kind of boring. I've looked at it
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three times and can't find any interesting to pull out
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of it. Anyway, Marcelo Hernandez on Netflix today, I'm sure
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you're looking for that. This weekend, Nicki Glazer hosts The
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Golden Globes, her second time hosting the program. Last year,
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she did not make any terrible horrible jokes about Taylor Swift.
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Who's NICKI finding funny these days? She told Upworthy, as
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of late Rachel Feinstein, David Spade, Martin short Is, Jimmy Glick,
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Tim Robinson, and Chris Fleming could pick on Chris Fleming there,
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I also love Jim Norton's latest special on YouTube, Unconceivable,
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Upworthy asked Nicki Glazer, no matter how popular you get,
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is there one thing about you that will never change?
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Nicki said, I don't think people really ever change. I try.
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I'm always holding out hope that I'll somehow conquer my
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imposter syndrome and overall low self esteem. I know some
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artists and comedians argue that it serves their work to
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be depressed or anxious, but I feel like I've already
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mind all my insecurities for material in the first two
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decades of my career. I like to change it as
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someone who's more confident. But don't we all. I don't
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want to ever think that I'm better than anyone else,
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but I'd like to lose the core belief that I'm
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worse than others. I think Nicky's going to have a
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good weekend with the Golden Globes In this week's Comedy
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stock Market. She has announcedate tour. The Stunning Tour will
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take Nicki Glazer around North America as well as Paris, London,
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and Dublin. Kicks off the sixteenth at the Coliseum Theater
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at Caesar's Palace, then off to Paris, London, Dublin and
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Atlantic City. Imagine going through Paris, London, Dublin and then
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Atlantic City. That's a bit of a letdown, I'm telling you.
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The tour wraps up in December. On the second at
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the MGM Music Hall at Fenway in Boston. I'm getting old.
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I don't know what we're doing anymore. There's too much
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media out there. Bert Kreischer was on the Dumb Blonde
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podcast speaking to Bunny Xo. Chryser's fifty three, so he's
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not that much younger than I am. Bert just started
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talking about his sex life. He said, Leanne's gonna kill me,
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but I told her. I was like, Yeo, porn wasn't
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doing it for me. I think it's because she's so
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authentically her and the things that she has turned me on.
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I said, hey, I need close up pictures of your
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body parts for me. So I've a hidden folder and
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they're just pictures. You can't see Lean's face, but they're
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pictures of her body parts. You know. Amy Schumer might disagree,
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but some things in a marriage are just between the
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people in the marria. You don't have to go into
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podcasts and tell us that. Bert said, I didn't think
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I was going to be attracted to someone like Leanne.
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When I got naked with her for the first time,
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I'd never experienced that feeling. I don't know if it
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makes total sense, but it felt like she was sharing
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a cecar with me. I felt like she didn't get
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naked with a lot of people. That energy I liked.
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I think we're past peak Chriser now. I just have
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that sense. As we all know, Kevin Hart likes to work,
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isn't afraid of finding a way to make money. Well,
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listen to this one. Kevin Hart announced a deal with
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Authentic Brands, giving Authentic Brands the rights to license Kevin
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Hart's name. Heart and ABG will co manage the quote
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Kevin Hart unquote brand, bringing it to new verticals and
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business areas, including consumer products, digital platforms, and live experiences.
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Kevin Hart, in a statement, said, this partnership is about acceleration,
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growth and diversification. I've spent years building businesses and creating opportunities,
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and joining Authentic gives me the platform in global infrastructure
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to take my brand to the next level. Becoming a
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shareholder allows me to co own some of the most
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recognizable IP of all time while building my own brand legacy.
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Kevin Kevin, Kevin, listen to yourself. You're talking about IP
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and brand legacy. Listen to yourself, dude, all the cool
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just went out of the room. It's gone. You have
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enough money. This might actually be worse than playing Riodd.
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At least Riodd. You're doing a comedy show and you're
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getting paid. What are you doing here? Kevin said, I
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want the Heart name to live on for generations to
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come and be something that my grandkids and their grandkids
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will be able to be proud of. Then there's some
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quotes here from the city. I can't even with this.
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Ugh.
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Actually I was gonna bounce this next one, but it
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fits very nicely here. This was an opinion piece on Vulture.
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They wrote, remember the Riodd Comedy Festival back in September,
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It was all anyone interested in comedy talked about. There
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was David Cross's blog post calling out Riodd performers like
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Dave Chappelle, Luis c K, Bill Burr, and Jim Jeffries
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Cross asking how can any of us take any of
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you seriously? Again? Andrew Schultz firing back at David Cross
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by referencing an instance of David Cross using the N word.
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Bill Burr's rant on Conan o'brine needs a friend, where
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we refer to people criticizing festival performers as sanctimonious sea
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words who don't give a hoot. This piece then gets
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into other beefs, Mark Maren calling out the Rogan verse
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while promoting his new special, Andrew Schultz going after Andrew
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Santino on Rogan for simply saying he didn't like the
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Austin comedy scene. A video called Mark Norman's Problem with
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Eric Andre has four hundred and thirty thousand views. Schultz
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labeling Maren an ahole on Rogan by telling a story
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about Maren being mean to John Stewart in the nineties,
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a story Maren himself has been sharing freely and openly
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since twenty thirteen. Vault Writ's. One of the most memorial
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reactions to the re Odd Comedy Festival came from twenty
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twenty six as Comedian of the Year John Marcos Serresi,
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who posted a stand upset which he said, I hope
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the one who gets in trouble is Gabriel Iglesias. He'd
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be like, you can't be head me my next two Fluffy.
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I think Chappelle's performing there tonight. I think it'd be
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funny if he got in trouble because he wouldn't stop
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talking about trans people. And then, of course, on December nineteenth,
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Dave Chappelle released a Netflix special in which he discussed
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the Riodd Comedy Festival. I was going to bounce this
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one too, but it fits the theme, Mark Maron, talking
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to Consequence of Sound, he asked if Joe Rogan still
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a comic or is he some sort of lifestyle show
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that deals with information. Maren said, I'm not some radical
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progressive out in the world ranting about political impropriety. I'm
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a comedian. So when I said what I said about
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what was happening in Austin around the sphere of comics
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in that audience, was to make a point, because they've
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created this audience of what was primarily not comedy fans
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and created this new breed of, you know, pseudo radicalized
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comedy fans around anti woke comedy. What's interesting about comedy
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and what's great about it is there's an expansive bunch
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of voices, both vulnerable and angry. And there was this
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thing that was happening where they were assuming the last
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word about what comedy was, and it was a fairly
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unnuanced and very hackneyed repetition of two or three ideas
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that were primarily right wing talking points. So that's why
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I did that. It was for comedy, not for me,
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not for the left. It was for comedy. Okay, maren Ah,
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here's one I bounced a couple times last week, but
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it fits the theme of where we've landed in this
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particular episode. So there's Robert de Niro and he's sitting
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near Rob Schneider during the fiftieth anniversary special. Schneider told
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The Epoch Times that he did see DeNiro two rows
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of Adam, and he didn't want to ruin de Niro's
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evening because Schneider supports President Trump. However, they did run
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into each other. Schneider said, I bump into him and
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he turns around. He has that particular expression that I
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think everybody knows, and he says, Agony supports that guy.