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Callaroga Shark Media.
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Hey there, I'm Johnny Mack with your daily comedy news.
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We have a new pope, and Jimmy Kimmel says, we
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have an American pope and a Russian president. Isn't incredible?
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Dosi Leidik said, but the votes are counted and the
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Vatican doesn't have a January sixth, so there's no going back.
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Stephen Colbert said, Holy Father, you had me at jd
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Vance is wrong Kimmel again, you gotta think about this one.
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This must have been what it felt like when they
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opened the first Olive Garden. Some funny stuff on threads.
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Griggs posted the new Pope is from Chicago, which means
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I probably taught his Level three improv class. David the
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Stella writes, American Pope sounds like a nineties comedy movie
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where due to some random paperwork, era dude named Steve
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has made the pope. Mark Stevens Comedy says the new
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Pope is from Chicago, which means his reign could last
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anywhere from twenty five or six to four years. Several
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people had the joke. I'll credit Josh Barrow, who's the
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first one I saw posted Chicago Pope Tuesdays on NBC.
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There's also a CBS very into that joke. Sebastian Manascalgo
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checked in.
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All right, here's the deal. Pope's from Chicago and I'm
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getting calls? Do you know the Pope? Why would I
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know the Pope? He's sixty nine years old? All right,
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where do you think I met the Pope at seminary school?
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I don't know the Pope. I'm happy he's from Chicago.
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All the blessings to new Pope Leo. By the way,
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why don't they use the real name of a guy.
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I think his name is Rob. Why isn't it just
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Pope Rob? Why do we got to change the name up?
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I'm sure I could chat sheeap, you tee it or
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google it, but I thought i'd ask you guys, because
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you're so smart.
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Good luck, Pope. I found it odd that there was
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no comment from Jim Gaffigan when I looked at Friday
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at ten twenty five am, but he had posted about
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his bourbon twenty one hours earlier. I did some maths,
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so ten twenty five plus twenty one hours would have
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been when in eleven twelve one five pm Jim knew
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about the Pope. I find Jim social media to be
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pretty disingenuous. Anyway, It's just about telling you his stuff.
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Andrew Schultz declared, New Pope went to Villanova Knicks in
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four Here in New York City, it is Nick's town.
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People are very excited. One person who's excited is Tracy Morgan.
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Let's listen.
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Subscribe New York City. This subscribes Nicks and everything in it,
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the Freedom Tawa, all of that. We New York. We
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very resilient. We don't play we scrappy. So this team
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represents us. This is what New York is about. This
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is where King Kong died. The Warby is a film here,
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son of Sam was born here. You know where they
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filmed The first ghostbus is here? Do you understand that
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the marshmallow Man walked through here? I'm gonna holler at
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you later.
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The just for laughs lineup is out. I will do
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that tomorrow because I want to talk about this historian people.
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The headline is Amy Schumer, the unnamed celebrity stranger that
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Hilaria Baldwin calls out in new book. Hilaria talks about
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a mystery celebrity in her new memoir am Manuel not included,
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and Hilaria writes, I don't need to use her name
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and I don't want any problems with her. No matter what,
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I hope I never meet her. No people think it
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might be Amy Schumer. Schumer has previously called Baldwin a sociopath.
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In her comedy Special Emergency Contact, Hilario writes about a
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famous person, someone I've never met, who' said nasty and
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untrue things about me and my family and that she
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even tried to bait me and Alec via Instagram. We
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didn't engage with her, and I guess I'm proud of
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that and made me mad at the system. But here
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in this book is where I can talk about it.
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I don't need to use her name, and I don't
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want any problems with her, and I'd like to be
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left out of any articles that mention her because she
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has nothing to do with me, A total stranger. In
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Amy twenty twenty three Special Emergency Contact, Schumer said, I'm
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not trying to bullie a sociopath. I have a point.
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My point is that all evidence points to this woman
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since she met her husband, has straight up pretended to
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be from Spain. People tells us in December of twenty twenty,
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Schumer posted some of Hilario's family photos on her own
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Instagram page, later deleting them and apologizing to Hilaria, who
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spoke out after receiving negative comments. In twenty twenty one.
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Schumer told Entertainment Tonight she deleted the posts after Hilaria
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quote seemed a little bit upset. I was just like,
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I don't want to be mean, and she seemed like
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maybe it hurt her feelings. I took it down. She's
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amazing and I wish her and her family the best,
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and I hope she gets to visit Spain as much
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as she wants. Look, she's a mom. I don't want
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them to be going through a bad time. But also,
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you can't just pretend you're from Spain. Now. If you
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google is Hilaria from Spain, things will come up. I'll
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source here from Vox. They seem pretty reputable. They write
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the idealized Hilaria was born in New YORKA speaks with
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an accent. Doesn't know the English word for cucumbers, jocks
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are fun, does Flamenco love speedboats, drinks hamp milk, eats
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lentils in Paea, and does a plethora of workout classes.
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Then they had Hillary was born in Massachusetts, went to
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NYU and has a brother named Jeremy Fox. Source is
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somebody named Tracy Egan Morrissey, who looked into all this
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back then in a series of Instagram stories. Morrissey explains
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that Hilaria's Spanish origin story again from Hilario, stating in
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multiple features with Ola that she was born in Spain
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and Spanish was her native language. Baldwin's bio on her
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CAAA speaking engagement site states that she was born in mayerca.
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Hilaria also had stated in a previous interview she moved
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to America at nineteen to attend to NYU. Morrissey debunks
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the claims, pointing out that Hilaria is actually Hillary Hayward Thomas,
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who graduated high school from the Cambridge School of Weston
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in Weston, mass And there's also a video where the
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mother seems to stumble over her own daughter's name. Anyway,
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that's a lot of fun. I hope Amy Schumer jumps
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back in and That's why I'm gonna cover JFL tomorrow.
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Bert Krasier explained how he lost fifty pounds Men's Fitness
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on the case they covered it. Graysier said he did
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it by just eating three things. Okay, what are the
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three things? Steak, eggs, and spinach. Bert says, I went
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to carnivore all ever eight eggs, Rebbi saw Tate spinach. Dude,
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I lost like fifty five pounds. Inflammation went away. I
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felt so clean, No booze, no nothing. Nate Bergatzy was
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on Fallon, I'm a little NATed out this week. Nate
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is playing Madison Square Garden in September. Nate told Fallon,
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as everybody who has followed my career knows that tonight
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show has meant a lot to me because I was
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just doing stand up to now doing it Madison Square Garden,
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So I thought it would be very nice would you
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come over and do the shows with me at MSG.
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The audience approved. Fallon appeared hesitant, arguing that he hasn't
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done stand up regularly in a decade and doesn't have
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an act. Nate pointed out that Fallen opened for him before.
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That is true. Fallan opened for Nate and Albany and
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Syracuse last year. Nate said, you know it works in
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Syracuse and Albany, so now it's time to take it
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to the big top. Fallon has accepted, but was curious,
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what do I do you want me to do? Impressions.
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John Oliver wants the Iowa Cubs to change their name.
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For a little bit. He was making fun of some
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of the crazy minor league team names and then got
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into Iowa Cubs and said, they're pretty disappointing because in
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not embracing the glorious eccentricity of the magnificent league they
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belong to, they're kind of leaving money on the table.
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That's where we come in. We are willing to use
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all our resources and stupidity to give one minor league
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baseball team a total rebrand. We'll give you a new name,
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a new mascot leaving through you with theme night. If
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the Iowa Cubs aren't interested, other teams can reach out
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at John Oliver at buntstuff dot com. I wonder what
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happens if you go to bunt stuff dot com. Let's
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find out. Apparently the domain is parked, but they have
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the email account. I guess these Saint Paul Saints jumped
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in on social media and said they have already contacted
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John Oliver's team and they are prepared to accept the offer.
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On Gossip Corner, Monique was on Shannon Sharp's podcast and said,
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I'm grateful I'm not fifty six and trying. I'm looking
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right at you. I ain't backing down. You better take
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your old butt and get someone to love you. You don't
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need no twenty six year old girl. You don't need
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no thirty six year old girl. You're trying to hang
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out with these young b words. You can't do it, Shannon.
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Remember HQ Trivia. Remember Scott the guy that used to
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host it. Remember that guy? Yeah, well he's got a
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new gig with Trivia Works, a corporate entertainment and team
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building vendor specializing in customized trivia events. Scott will lead
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corporate and private event audiences and hilarious, high energy team
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trivia competition. You can get customized questions and entertainment between
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trivia rounds, and of course Scott's trademark sharp wit. That
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is your comedy news for today. Hey, if you're into
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this whole Pope thing, I'm working. We got a podcast
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called White Smoke where we're covering this. Today's episode is
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about the whole Villanova Nix angle. So Tracy Morgan will
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dig that and we find out if the Pope is
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a Cubs fan or a White Sox fan. I'm not
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gonna tell you, I did a lot of work. I
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want your download, So go download White Smoke wherever you
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get your shows, and I'll meet you back here tomorrow