Nikki Glaser Jokes About a Secret Taylor Swift Wedding, Stavros Halkias’ Health, and a Wild Nathan Fielder Doc

0:03 Calaroga Shark Media. Hello, I'm Jenny Mack with your daily comedy news. We have a lot to get to today as everybody got back to work. Nikki Glaser talked on stage about the wedding of Taylor Swift. I'm not sure that's the best way to stay in the Taylor Swift camp there, Nikki, but I guess Nikki doesn't care. She apparently was doing this on stage during her Caesars Palace Las Vegas residency on Friday night. Nikki told the audience, I want to say I went to a wedding in Madison Square Garden three months ago, and I just want to talk about it a little, allegedly. Nikki couldn't believe she made the guest list. She said, I'm a huge Swifty, probably the biggest Swifty that was at the event. I got the text inviting me to the wedding. Text? I never thought in a million years I'd get invited. I don't even know them. You should thank your agent or agents. But she switched agencies. I don't know, Nikki. Anyway, she says, I'm in there for 12 hours and none of my family or friends know where I am. I'm off the grid for 12 hours. That's because guests were required to surrender their phones, leaving Nikki Glaser without a single photo from the night. Nikki said she was shaking as she opened the invitation and desperately wanted to share the news with her friends. But the instructions made it clear you can't do that. It's a top secret. So maybe. Don't talk about it on stage in Las Vegas. So she told nobody. She says, it sucks so much because it was like the best night of my life as a Swifty.

1:25 The coolest thing I've ever seen. The purest love I've ever witnessed. She talked about the A-list celebrities there. There were so many celebrities there. It was wild. Brad Pitt, Steven Spielberg, Julia Roberts. Some of these celebrities were alone and these people are never alone. One of them was J-Lo. J-Lo was alone. J-Lo was kind of like a wallflower, like alone, awkward. So since Nikki had previously met J-Lo, she approached her and the two became best buds for the night. Nikki said, we were like pals all night. Nikki then joked that she had to introduce the superstar to the concept of a public bathroom. Then Nikki shares that she really wanted to have a memento. She said, I got really close to stealing something from it. I want one cool artifact from that. Later in the evening, Nikki found herself near the wedding cake while everybody else was dancing. As she watched the dance floor, she joked that Mark Zuckerberg was doing the robot and Jilly Roll was doing the worm. Then she spotted the cake. On the top was a miniature Travis, but Taylor's cake topper was already gone. With no phones or cameras around, Nikki decided she would take the Travis, she says. So I reach up, I get it. I'm two seconds from putting in my purse. And then the punchline, clearly told better by Nikki Glaser, but it took me five times to even realize this was a punchline. She said, I hear Tom Cruise be like, put me down. You see, that's a joke about Tom Cruise not being all that tall.

2:36 The first three times I read it, I just thought Tom Cruise was actually at the wedding, and he probably was. Stavros Alkias has a new special out on Netflix. He spoke to GQ in a big cover story, talked about his body. It's just crumbling, dude. My health's been insane. I threw my back out right before tires started. The week before, I was deadlifting, which feels unfair to have an injury from trying to get healthy. And then I broke my arm before filming this movie, Comeback King, with Judd Apatow and Glenn Powell, name dropper. So yeah, I feel bad. I'm trying to stop doing drugs and eating crap all the time because that's the best way to get through stress for me. Well, Star Wars, how's that going for you? Stopping doing drugs, he told GQ. I tried. I was like, all right, we shot the special. Now my work is done. And then now you have to edit it. You have to promote it. And so I tried.

3:16 And then my back hurt and I couldn't sleep. It's really pathetic. I'm addicted to edibles. It's so funny. They're drugs for children. The way we do drugs now is gummy bears. What a pathetic and infantilized generation millennials are. But I'm addicted to those. I take a handful of candy that Fs you up every night. And then I try to stop and I couldn't sleep. My PT was like, hey, is something different with your sleep? I was like, yeah, man. I'm like, I'm trying to stop smoking weed. And he was like, legally, I can't tell you to do anything. But he was like, I wouldn't do anything that disrupts your sleep right now. So a doctor told me to keep getting messed up as far as I'm concerned. So I've regressed. I've fully relapsed. I have three more weeks of this press run. And if I stay alive through that, I think I can fix my whole life after that. I have no ability to multitask. If I'm being successful, I'm dying. Every time I succeed, it's like I'm trading part of my life force for the success. It's purely transactional for me. He then said the two most successful years of my life easily shaved four to five years off my total life. Chi-Ki was curious. Is that a trade you would make? He said, no, if I knew about it ahead of time, no. But this is Aesop's fables crap. It's like you get everything you want and it kills you. There is tremendous buzz on this Nathan Fielder movie trailer. Have you seen this thing with what is her name? Elizabeth Holmes. I keep confusing her with a different Elizabeth who's in the true crime averse. But Elizabeth Holmes, you know, the Theranos woman. Have you seen this thing? It is insane. I don't even want to.

4:32 I'm going to spoil it. But you have to watch this thing. 36 days before reporting to prison, Elizabeth Holmes, who hadn't given an interview in a decade, decided not only to be interviewed, but she let Nathan Fielder and his crew into their home in San Diego with the understanding that, quote, you can see everything. And the people who saw the screening of this say it's insane. It is a hybrid documentary called You Can See Everything. It runs nearly three hours. And this is pure Nathan Fielder stuff. It was shot beginning in 2023 in top secrecy. And nobody heard about this thing until like Labor Day. Suddenly this was all over my newsfeed. They screened it at Telluride Sunday night. You had to put your phone away.

5:13 It was like a Dave Chappelle concert. 174 minutes. We are told in one scene, Fielder asks if they've ever heard of Abbott and Costello. The answer, no. Or their classic comedy routine, who's on first? He then shows them who's on first to get their interpretation of it. Apparently they agree to be mic'd up for 12 hours a day, wide angle cameras in place to get all the movements, other cameras getting close-ups. Fielder immerses himself in this weird world as someone she comes to trust, much to his astonishment. Becoming so close, she asks him along on the last drive to prison. Fielder seems baffled by it all, stunned that the idea turned into a three-year trip into the mind of Elizabeth Holmes, no holds barred or expected. He told the Telluride audience, what I'm really excited about is for you to see the movie and tell me what I experienced. I don't know why they wanted me there.

6:02 Why am I there? This thing is out in October via A24. Two hours, 54 minutes. Should be good. Catching up from the weekend. LSU football head coach Lane Kifflin walked the Tigers' traditional Tiger Walk, joining him Theo Vaughn. Rob Reiner won the award for Outstanding Guest Actor in a Comedy Series at the Creative Arts Emmy Awards for his role as a restaurant consultant on season four of The Bear. Presenter Wendy McLennan-Covey accepted on behalf of Rob, who said, we all wish he was here. Rob got a standing ovation. It was his first win since 1978, a half a century ago, which is just insane. He picked up the award for Outstanding Continuing Performance by a Supporting Actor at a Comedy Series for his work on All in the Family. So over the weekend, I went into a Jerry Lewis rabbit hole. If you listened over the weekend, you heard the Jerry Lewis episode on Saturday.

6:53 So Sunday night, I found on YouTube the 1978 Jerry Lewis telethon asterisk. They cut in some stuff from later years, but the bulk of it was like a 20-hour stream of Jerry Lewis, and I watched it. I didn't watch 20 hours. I fast-forwarded through a lot of it. I just wanted to watch Jerry increasingly get tired. What I was stunned by was the lack of star power. It's 37 minutes before you get to somebody you've really heard of, and Jerry sings three songs in the first 37 minutes, and then finally you get Tony Bennett, major star, And then the next star that I was familiar with might have been like at two in the morning. Remember Fred Travolina used to do impressions in the 70s? You probably don't.

7:36 I mean, I was shocked at how little star power there was on this thing. I got to about the 9 a.m. hour and Jerry was getting a little flirty with there was a performer named And he was curious as to where she had her microphone tucked away because she wasn't holding a handheld like me or like Jerry Lewis and didn't seem to have one on her. So you can imagine where it was hidden. And he got a little flirty. So that was interesting. I want to finish that up. It is Wednesday. Volleyball season is over. So I'll be back at Trivia tonight. I'll see the Trivia guys at 7 o'clock at the brewery. And I went out after volleyball last Wednesday. And I pulled up at the local restaurant. The local restaurant has a comedy club of sorts on the upper level. So we pull in the parking lot, and it's full. I had to actually park down the block. And I was curious, oh, who's performing tonight? Joey Diaz, who some people say is the worst person on the planet and the worst person they've ever met. I've heard people say that, that Joey Diaz is terrible, terrible, terrible. I thought it was funny that Joey Diaz was in the same building as I.

8:32 I did not go upstairs to see him. I had a nice, what did I have? a buffalo chicken sandwich with my friends. Matt Matthews, a comedian I'm under-familiar with, apparently has 12 million followers on Instagram and TikTok, and he was dragged into the ring on Monday Night Raw in Alabama. He was cheered as he spoke to Jackie Redmond during the show, but then he felt the wrath of WWE stars The Miz and Braun Breaker. They interrupted Matthew's segment as the two poked fun at the Alabama crowd. The wrestlers took him out of the stands and dragged him into the ring. But luckily, Matt Matthews was able to fend off Wilson with a head-scissors takedown, but then got caught in The Miz's skull-crushing finale. The Miz and Wilson, we're told, got booed as they walked to the back.

9:14 Matthew was still in the ring when Breaker was making his entrance for the Money in the Bank qualifying match against Rey Mysterio and Ethan Page. Breaker speared The Miz and Wilson as he came out, then he put his attention on Matthews. Breaker bounced off the ropes at full speed and crushed Matthew with a spear. In a Facebook group, comedian Matt Matthews wrote, Welp, that was fun. Nimish Patel will have a Netflix special coming out on September 22nd. I like this trailer a lot. Let's listen. Gushup Pramod Vinod Patel is the first Indian director of the FBI. And that means something. It means he's also the last Indian director of the FBI. There will be no more Indian directors of the FBI. There might never be Indian directors, period. M. Night Shyamalan may never work again.

10:07 That's how bad cash is up. He's too short to lead the FBI. You can't be 5'7 and in charge of finding missing people. How about you find the rest of yourself first, huh? If I kidnapped Savannah Guthrie's mom, I would hide her on the top shelf. Is she up there? I don't know. Is she up there? Where did she go? Up next on Cash's Most Wanted, legs. And congratulations to controversial mega-comedian Nate Bregazzi. The very controversial mega-comedian will headline the Tennessee Chamber of Commerce's and Industry's inaugural Chairman's Dinner on November 10th at the Country Music Hall of Fame in Nashville, which is an awesome building.

11:07 Great museum if you've never been there. Josh Brown is the president and CEO of the Tennessee Chamber of Commerce and Industry, and he said of the controversial mega-comedian Nate Bregazzi, we're honored to have Nate join us for our first ever Chairman's Dinner. And that is your comedy news for today. See you tomorrow.