Sept. 23, 2026
Stavros Halkias explains why Fast Food Sucks Now, Chris Rock on Adam Sandler, Leno Backlash, and BBC Cuts Mitchell & Webb
Johnny Mac delivers comedy news including Stavros Halkias blaming private equity for fast-food quality declines, citing Wendy’s lettuce and Jersey Mike’s changes. Chris Rock, speaking at TIFF, says he asked Adam Sandler for advice on moving into drama, praises Uncut Gems and Punch-Drunk Love, notes he lacks “Madagascar money” post-divorce, and mentions his film Misty Green arriving October 9. Jay Leno responds to criticism for avoiding partisan comedy, with commentary from Christian Toto about late-night audiences. Jo Koy describes shifting comedy late-night culture from cocaine and drinking to vaping/edibles. Nick Thune discusses his newly taped special Never Always and working clean; Anthony Jeselnik talks reading habits and his book club. The “comedy stock market” sells Nikki Glaser, Andrew Santino, and Tom Segura, and buys Maddie Kelly and Jalen Brunson. Marc Maron starts video podcasting, and the BBC removes several That Mitchell and Webb Look sketches from iPlayer.
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WEBVTT
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Let's go Knicks.
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Jalen Brunson hosts SNL on Saturday. Hi, I'm Johnny Mac
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with your daily comedy news. Stavros Alkias is all fired
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up about the fast food, man. He was on Pablo
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Torre's podcast, and I got a clip for you. There
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are a lot of bleeps here, but here's Stavros.
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I think it's clear that what's f * * *
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ing us up is, like, private equity and... and money
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taking over these things that are all... Products that are awesome, right? Let's...
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Sports is the easiest one, but the one I've actually
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latched onto recently that I think goes hand in hand
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with sports is fast food. Because everybody understands that Wendy's
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has gotten shittier. The spicy chicken sandwich now uses shredded lettuce.
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Exactly right there, that is private equity. That is someone saying,
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we don't want a fresh head of lettuce, that costs
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more money, so we're gonna get you bagged, shitty lettuce,
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And I know that in the grand scheme of things,
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it's not a big deal, but people will notice Jersey
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Mike's was bought, I think two years ago. It started
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to get. It was one of the, it was the
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best sandwich chain. It's getting here because some head who's
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never spread mayo in his life decided, oh no, actually,
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instead of a sandwich, this is now a commodity, right?
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And what's important is that by turning the buyer experience,
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the consumer experience shittier, I, some dickhead that's never made
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a sandwich, gets a billion extra dollars.
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Chris Rock explained at the Toronto International Film Festival that
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he had to tap a friend to help him move
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from comedy to drama. Now, who better than the great
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dramatic actor Adam Saylor to help you become a dramatic actor?
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Because that's what Adam's good at. He's not good at
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comedy at all, unlike Chris Rock, who's really good at comedy.
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But Adam Sandler, he's got great films like Uncut Gems,
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Basketball Movie, Space Movie, and the ones with Drew Barrymore.
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Everything else is garbage. But Chris Rock said he asked
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Adam Sandler for help. Are Rock and Sandler competitive when
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it comes to moving into dramas? Rock said, no, we're not.
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I mean, please.
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He's so far ahead. See, Chris Rock recognizes the greatness
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of Adam Sandler, dramatic actor, supposed to unfunny comedian who makes.
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A lot of money. I get it. I get that
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he makes money.
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You know, I can't begrudge the guy for taking $ 50
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million from Netflix to make garbage, but it's garbage.
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Rock said, no, I just take notes from the Sandman.
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I did watch.
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I'm sitting there like, wow, Uncut Gems is amazing. Punch
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Drunk Love is amazing. If you don't remember Punch Drunk Love,
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that is from 2003. Adam Sandler played a man who'd
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been unable to fall in love until meeting a mysterious woman.
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Chris Rock says he doesn't have Madagascar money anymore after divorce.
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He would like there to be a sequel to Madagascar.
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That's funny.
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He describes his new movie as Female Uncut Gems. I'm
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not sure that's a good idea, Chris. Maybe find something else.
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He says, it's weird how few movies have money in them,
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like on a regular level. In movies, usually money is
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like we're robbing a bank or something, but it's never
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like I need to pay my rent. The movie Misty
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Green arrives in theaters October 9th. The worst person who
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ever lived, Jay Leno, you know, the jerk that takes
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care of his wife at night.
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Yeah, that guy, he's the worst. He continues to face criticism.
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Telling the Unexpired podcast that he's getting criticism for avoiding
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partisan comedy. Apparently a lot of people would like to
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see Jay Leno comment on the president of the United States.
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Jay said, I get beat up for this all the time,
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but as someone who works in the real world, when
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you go to Indiana, I'm sorry, a third of your
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audience is going to be Trump people. Christian Toto from
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the website Hollywood and Toto told Fox News Digital, late
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night hoes don't care who they alienate in 2026. They've
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chosen an audience period. Jimmy Kimmel infamously said of his
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Republican fans, not good riddance, but riddance. That says it all.
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Some familiar beats from Jay Leno. I mean, Johnny and
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I used to pride ourselves on making fun of both
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sides equally. Now I get beaten up for that, but OK,
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that's all right. Toto said Jimmy Fallon had a chance
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to be the new Jay Leno. Sadly, after he tussled
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Donald Trump's hair on the Tonight Show in 2016, he
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was hounded by the media and the left for humanizing
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the real estate mogul, which is not a sentence a
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human would say. That's like not how you'd phrase it.
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I don't know. That's a weird quote.
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Toto called Joe Rogan the new Johnny Carson. Tap the brakes.
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I mean, yes, Rogan has a lot of influence, but
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the new Johnny Carson?
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Relax.
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Hey, Joe Coy, how do you tell someone who's starting
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out in comedy how to manage late night culture? When
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it comes to eating and drinking, Joe Coy, who once
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told a horrible mean joke about Taylor Swift.
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Do you want to hear it? Okay, twist my arm.
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As you know, we came on after a football doubleheader.
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The big difference between the Golden Globes and the NFL,
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on the Golden Globes, we have fewer camera shots of
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Taylor Swift.
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Joe Coy said, when I was younger, I was around
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the old school vets. So my guys are from the
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80s because I started in 89, 90. So I was
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the new generation of comics in the 90s and I'm
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being mentored by the guys from the 80s who were
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like really, really bad.
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Those were the cocaine guys, you know what I mean? Yes,
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I know what you mean.
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I've worked with some of them. It was like cocaine, weird,
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and beer, man. That's all you need. And some bacon,
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you know what I mean? And I'm not saying all
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of them were like that, but it was a different time.
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They weren't very health cautious. Then my generation was very
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fast foodie. It was just a different time when I
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was coming up. But now I've noticed that you can
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see right now that these kids don't drink. The drinking
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culture is not what it used to be. And I
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think it's more the vape generation and the edible generation.
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I feel like the comics I see coming up tend
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to be on the healthier side. But the late night
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culture is beautiful. So embrace it and enjoy it. There
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are late nights, but the camaraderie of comics is always fun.
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Imagine surrounding yourself with laughter the whole time. I remember
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doing a show and going to Mel's Diner. That's in L.A.,
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and I'll be sitting with all these comics, you know,
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and just enjoying life.
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That's from the L.A. Times.
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Nick Thune spoke to thenewcitystage.com. He just taped a special
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last week at the Den Theater. The current name of
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the show, and it's gone through a whole bunch of
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different variations, says Thune, is Never Always. The special is
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kind of in three parts. On the first part is
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like this fantastical world that I control and make believe,
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which is kind of like my older stand-up. Then the
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second part is a world that I can't control at all.
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That's my son.
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Hmm.
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And then the third part is me realizing that even
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though I don't have control, I'm going to be all
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right as long as I don't try to control it.
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The idea of Never Always comes from the idea that
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I'm out of control in life, but never always. It's
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like a relief that there's a bit of optimism there.
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Nick Thune talked about working clean. He says his parents
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sheltered me from all of those topics, sex included. Part
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of the special is me going overboard in the other direction,
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trying to make sure that my 12-year-old son knows everything,
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and then realizing maybe there's a middle ground. He grew
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up in Seattle, admiring the comedy of Martin Mull, Steve Martin,
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and Chevy Chase. He admired Chevy Chase's Fletch, because I
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love the way the guy talked, and the way that
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he confidently said things that didn't really mean anything. And
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then I found that within Martin Mull and Steve Martin.
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Thune said, I learned how to confidently tell stories that
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were totally unrealistic and with a wink. Kind of knowing
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the nonsensical things that I was saying, and I think
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that Martin Mull was pretty good at that. And then
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later in life, I found out more and more different
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ways that I aligned with Martin Mull as far as
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painting and all these.
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Other things he did.
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I'm fascinated by his career. Anthony Jeselnik has a book club.
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The New York Times asked Jeselnik, describe your ideal reading experience.
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Jeselnik said, I'm sitting on an airplane in the dark
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with a Kindle lit up in my hands. I've got
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earplugs in and I'm tearing through a novel while everyone
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around me is asleep. A flight attendant comes by once
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in a while to fill my water glass. That's some
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pretty good writing there, Anthony Jelsenick. All right, why don't
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you think men read fiction, dude? He said, this is
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a question that fascinates me. I think a lot of
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men view reading fiction as a frivolous waste of time.
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We've been conditioned to ignore the beliefs of empathy. I
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think it's a marketing problem. Reading should be sold to
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men like lifting weights for your brain. But it's not
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just men. People are happily staring at their phone all day,
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don't want to pick up a book. Their attention spans
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are fried, but I'm hoping the fall of literature is
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just a trend. trends can be reversed.
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Interesting.
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We learned Jeselnik Book Club's motto is you don't shoot dogs.
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He says it's an unofficial motto we came up with
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to separate ourselves from Oprah's book club. Why do you
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start a book club in the first place? He said,
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I was really sick of podcasting. Hey, but as a
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Tory comedian, I wanted to maintain a presence online. A
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book club felt organic to me, and I've always found
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success with things that come naturally. I wonder if he
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has a rivalry with the John Mulaney book club. How
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did your fans respond to what seems like a change
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in your image, Mr.
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Jeselnik?
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You said the fans who followed my old podcast weren't
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surprised at all. I was always recommending a new book
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at the end of every episode. And I've been doing
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a top 10 of my favorite novels of the year
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for a while. But it's fun to see people who
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only know me as a stand-up react like Paul Giamatti
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started making porn. Comedy stock market. All right, on the
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comedy stock market this week, if you're new to the show,
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what we do is we buy and sell comedians. Hypothetically,
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of course, we're not actually buying and selling people like
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stock in comedians.
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You get it. Comedy stock market. It's in the me.
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It's in the name. I can't explain it to you.
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That's what it is.
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Here's what we're doing this week. We're going to sell
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Andrea Santino and Tom Segura. I don't think this golf
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thing is going to be good. They're both pretty near
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peak right now. So let's cash out on those two
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and make some money before everybody goes, wait, are you
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going for getsy on us? What is happening here? So
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Sell Santino, sell Tom Segura, sell Nikki Glaser. She's also
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at peak, and I think the backlash is coming. So
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let's get out on top there. Let's buy some Maddie Kelly.
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I'm seeing a lot of buzz on Maddie. I've seen
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her opening for Otsuko. Maddie is really good. Buy Maddie Kelly.
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And let's buy Jalen Brunson. You saw what he did
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with the Knicks. How could he not be great at
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Saturday Night Live? The man is great at everything. All right,
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so we're buying Jalen Brunson and Maddie Kelly. We're selling
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Nikki Glaser. Andrew Santino and Tom Segura, that is your
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comedy stock market for today. Apparently, Mark Maron is doing
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video podcasting, just like me. Us old guys have gotten
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webcams now, so if you want to check out Mark Maron,
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I'll let him tell about it.
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So, this is it. The new world. I've got to
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figure out how to sit here and talk. Hey, Charlie. Charlie. Charlie.
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I've got to sit here and figure out how to talk.
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on camera.
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It's a weird thing.
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This computer is the computer that I had out in
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the podcast studio for years, and I'll just let you
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know what's going on. It was the, what was it,
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the first year anniversary of the end of the podcast
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a few days ago, and for some reason over the
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last couple weeks, I've just... Charlie, I've just now been
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able to break it down. So I took this out
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and I've set it up in here. But all this
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stuff out there, the table, all the mics, just taking
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everything apart. It's now all on the floor. Mics, mic stands,
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all the other crap that I had out there. guitars,
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everything else. It's all sort of broken down, but it
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took me a year and I didn't wait on purpose.
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And now it looks like a, like a garage sale
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in there. I got to figure out how to unload
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