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Calaroga Shark Media. Welcome to the twenty twenty six Comedy Draft.
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I am your host, Johnny Mack. Now what we're doing
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today is we are drafting comedians the way say football
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teams draft players. We're building rosters, making strategic decisions, and yes,
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overreacting to every single pick in the Facebook group Delly
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Comedy News podcast group. Here's how this is going to go.
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We have five teams. Each team will draft five comedians
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to build out their roster. Your roster needs to include
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one headliner, two feature acts, one wildcard, and one legacy pick.
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This is a snake draft, so we'll go one through
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five and then five through one, et cetera, et cetera.
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Now you might be cynical and say, Johnny Mack, did
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you have a routine colonoscopy scheduled for this week and
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you needed a bit to retape a show? Perhaps, But
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it's also the NFL Draft today, so I thought this
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would be fun. This is something we used to do
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with serious million years ago. We used to have actual
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comedians come in in draft teams. Some years it worked great.
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Some years the comedians were just annoying and wouldn't go
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with the bit comedians can be annoying. So what I've
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done here is I have asked the AI to take
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on several personas. I am not steering this. This is
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all AI, and I'll explain to you who the teams
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are and who the mindsets are. And I have not
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read this ahead. I'm generating this as we go. So
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welcome to the twenty twenty six Comedy Draft. Let's meet
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the teams. Team Analytics. They're all about the numbers, ticket sales,
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streaming views, social media reach. They're not here to be cool.
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They're here to win. If you could sell out an arena,
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they're interested in you. If you can't, you're.
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Not on their board.
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Next up, Team Purist all about stand up comedy as
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an art form, craft, respect, legacy. Team Purist values what
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happens on stage. If you built your career on TikTok,
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they don't care. Next up, Team Chaos. They want headlines, controversy,
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viral moments, big personalities. They are not building the best
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comedy lineup, they're building the most talked about comedy lineup.
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Then there's Team Industry.
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Think of this about the suits, the agents, those guys,
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versatility matters, stand up acting, writing, podcasting.
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It's all about your portfolio.
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Team Industry is thinking about long term value, not just
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tonight's show. And then finally, we have a team alternative
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the indie room, the old comedy scene. Bai has gannarrated
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the draft order. With the first pick, Team Analytics will
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be on the clock. And with that, let us begin
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the twenty twenty six comedy Draft.
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With the first pick.
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In the twenty twenty six Comedy Draft, Team Analytics picks
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Kevin Hart's Kevin Hart goes number one overall.
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Now think about it.
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This is Team Analytics, Global star, Massive Box Office sells
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out arenas roast of Kevin Hart movies, TV shows, Netflix
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Show Safe pick Yeah, effective pick. Yes, Kevin Hart goes
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number one overall in the twenty twenty six comedy Draft.
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What do you think?
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Facebook Group, Daily Comedy News podcast group. All right, it
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is time for the second pick, Team Purist. You're now
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on the clock. With the number two pick in the
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comedy Draft, Team Purist takes Dave Chappelle. There it is
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statement pick, legacy, influence, undeniable on stage. Purist is not
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messing around. Good solid pick there. I thought Dave Chappelle
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would go number one. But you can't argue with Kevin Hart.
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Dave Chappelle goes number two. Team Chaos. You are now
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on the clock with the third pick in the twenty
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twenty six Comedy Draft. Team Chaos picks Shane Gillis. Oh,
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that's a strong pick, huge fan base, little edge, a
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little controversy. Team Chaos playing for the Internet and I
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got one of the biggest draws out there.
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Good solid pick.
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Shane gillis number three overall in the twenty twenty six
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Comedy Draft. Onto the fourth pick it is. Team Industry
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is now on the clock with the fourth pick overall.
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Team Industry picks Alli Wong.
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Wow.
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Wow, interesting pick there, But they are Team Industry. Ali
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Wang does stand up acts rights. Let's see what Team
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Industry is up to. A lot of I don't know
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about that pick. I mean, there's so many other comedians
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on the board. And Allie Wang going with the four overall.
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What do you think? Facebook group, Dally Comedy news podcast group.
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And that puts Team Alternative on the clock and with
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the number five pick overall in the twenty twenty six
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Comedy Draft, Team Alternative picks Nicki Glazer.
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Wow, interesting choice.
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I don't really think of her as Alt, but the
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Team Alternative is telling me she kills it ROAs is fearless,
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she could play mainstream rooms, n be edgy and it's
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a smart bridge Team Alternative. Wow, I have some other
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names that I thought they would have gone with there,
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but okay, So to recap your top five picks in
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the twenty twenty six Comedy Draft, Kevin Hart, Dave Chappelle,
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Sheen Gillis, Alli Wang, and Nicky Glazer right onto round two.
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This is a snake draft, so we'll go in reverse order.
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With the sixth pick in the comedy Draft, Team Alternative
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picks Chris Fleming. Yeah, that tracks unique voice alt scene favorite.
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And now you've got a show with Nicky Glazer and
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Chris Fleming on it. That's a pretty weird, interesting show
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that you probably want to see. That puts Team Industry
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back on the clock. With the number seven pick, Team
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Industry picks John Mullaney, absolutely a steal at number seven.
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Their line up so far, Ali Wang and John Mullaney. Surprise,
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Mullaney didn't go in the first round, right, but Mlanie's
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still sitting there at the seven.
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Good pick there. That puts Team Chaos on the clock.
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Here in round two, and with the eighth pick overall,
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Team Chaos picks.
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Andrew Schultz. SNeW again.
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We're making lineups here Team Chaos with Shane Gillis and
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Andrew Schultz. That's a hell of a one to two
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podcast clips, controversy all together all right. With the number
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nine big overall, Team Purist is on the clock. They
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take Bill Burr. Oh no, the Bill Burr haters are
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still mad that Bill Burr played the Riod Comedy Festival.
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But Bill Burr joins Team Purist with Dave Chappelle. That's
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a killer lineup. No gimmicks, no fluff, just stand up.
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I mean, whatever you think about Riod, Chappelle and Burr.
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That's quite a team. And the final pick of the
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second round it's Team Analytics. Can they select Jim Gaffigan. Yeah,
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you can't argue with that, another guy who could have
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gone in the first round. Clean, massive audience. They'll sell
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you some bourbon and you've got a lineup of Kevin
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Hart and Jim Gaffigan. A little artistically wonky, but boy,
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that is a very very sellable lineup. We'll take the
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break there and we'll come back and we'll look at
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round three of the twenty twenty six Comedy Draft. All right,
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as we head in a round three, let's just reset
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where we are, what we're building. Each team is drafting
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five comedians, one headliner, two feature acts, one wild card,
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and a legacy pick.
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We are almost halfway through.
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The Team Analytics has Kevin Hart and Jim Gaffigan, Team
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Purist has Dave Chappelle and Built Burg, Team Chaos has
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Shane Gillison Andrew Schultz, Team Industry Ali Wong and John mulaney,
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and Team Alternative at Nicky Glazer and Chris Fleming. On
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to round three. It is the eleventh overall pick, the
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first pick of the third round, and Team Analytics picks
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Matt Rife.
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Wow.
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The Analytics crowd looking at it, and they're dipping into
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a younger viral audience. Matt Rife brings a huge social following.
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What do you think of that, Kevin Hart, Jim Gavigan,
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Matt Rife. That's gonna set a lot of tickets. On
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to the twelfth pick overall. Here in the third round,
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it's Team Purist, and Team Purist is on the clock
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and they pick.
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Mark Marin.
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Yeah, that fits stand up credibility, long career, not flashy,
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very on brand. For Team Purist, Mark Maren joins, Dave
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Chappelle and Bill Burr. Next up, Team Chaos on the
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Clock and they select theo Vaughn. Yeah, that makes sense,
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Andrew Sheltsching gill Us, Theovaughn chaotic think of the social
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media love that pick, all right? The fourteen overall it
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is Team Industry. Team Industries. Just a bunch of suits.
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They don't care, They just want to make bucks. And
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they are picking Trevor Noah, Global appeal, hosting, ability, mainstream recognition,
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Team Industry thinking about more than just stand up. Good
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solid pick. And the final pick of the third round,
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it's Team Alternative and they.
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Pick Robbie Hoffman.
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Yeah, Robbie, that absolutely makes sense for a Team Alternative,
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unique boys, strong point of view. Still a little weird
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that they've got Nicki Glazer on top of their team,
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But Nicki Glazer, Chris Fleming, Robbie Hoffin a solid team.
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That is the end of the third round. On to
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Round four. Most teams now have their core. We'll see
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if it gets a little more interesting here. We'll see
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what the wild cards who they come out with. Team
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Alternative on the clock in our Snake Draft, and with
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the sixteenth pick Indie Comedy Draft, Team Alternative picks Maria
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bamf for all time, all choice Original, deeply respected and
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this is a lineup that other comedians are going to respect.
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Very interesting.
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Team Alternative is Nicki Glazer, Chris Fleming, Robbie Hoffman, and
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now Marie A.
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Bamford.
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And that brings us to the seventeenth pick. Team Industry.
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They are a bunch of suits and they're gonna go
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with Hassan Minhaj. Yeah, that makes sense. It fits their
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whole thing, stand up storytelling, a little edge TV presence.
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Hassan Minhaj joins Ali Wong, John Maliny, and Trevor Noah.
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Now with the eighteenth.
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Pick overall, here in the fourth round, it's Team Chaos
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on the clock and they select Berg Kraser. Of course
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they do take your shirt off, everybody. Bg Kraser joins
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Shane Gillis Andrew Schultz at THEO Vaughn. That's kind of
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a thing, right, Yeah, that makes sense, right, Team Purist
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and now on the clock and with the nineteenth pick overall,
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they take Wanda psychsw That's.
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A I don't know what to say about that pick.
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I'm not sure I like that pick by Team Purist,
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Chappelle Burn, Aaron Wanda Psych Not sure that totally goes
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sir right, but let me know what to think Facebook
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or Daily Comedy News podcast group.
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And with the final pick of the fourth.
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Round, it's Team Analytics and they select Gabriel Iglecias. Of
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course they do massive fan base, global draw, ticket sales,
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analytics doing what analytics does.
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Kevin Heart, Jim.
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Gaffick and Matt Rife, Gabriel Iglesias, the analytics people are
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going to make bank. And with that we are up
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to the final round of the twenty twenty six Comedy Draft.
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Here in this round, you were taking a legacy a comedian.
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Team Analytics on the clock. They have crunched the numbers
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and they select with the twenty first pick overall in
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the twenty twenty six Comedy Draft, Jerry Seinfeld, the safest pick, imaginable,
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name recognition, history, global appeal. You can't are argue with that.
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And I think that Jerry Seinfeld still sitting there at
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number twenty one, and that brings us to the twenty
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second overall pick. Here in the fifth round, it's Team
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purist to their final pick is Chris Rock. Yeah, I mean,
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how is Chris Brock still sitting there in the draft? Right,
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one of the most important voices in Stand Up, Great Lineup. Okay,
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Team Chaos, it is your pick. With the twenty third
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pick overall in the twenty twenty six in comedy Draft.
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Team Chaos picks Ricky Gervai. Wow, all right, they just
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threw gasoline on the fire.
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Love it.
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That's a fun show when we get to the end
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of the round, or remind you of who all the
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teams are. But we'll move on to the twenty fourth
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pick in the twenty twenty six comedy Draft. It's Team
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Industry there on the clock and they go with wait
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is this right? Yeah, I'm told this is right. Okay,
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they have drafted a famous dramatic actor, Adam Sandler.
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I'm not really sure what they're doing that.
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He's not really a funny person, but okay, that's you know,
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Team Industry. I guess they figure they can get a
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Netflix deal out of it.
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Okay, makes sense.
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And then it is the final overall pick in the
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twenty twenty six comedy Draft. Team Alts on the clock
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and they select Comedy Survivor winners. Sarah Silverman. Sarah Silverman
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a great closer, alt roots, mainstream crossover, still active, still evolving,
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Perfect for that roster. Sarah Silverman the final pick in
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the twenty twenty six comedy Draft. So what do you think?
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Facebook Group, Daily Comedy News podcast Group. Let's take a
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look at the teams again. It is Team Analytics. Kevin Hart,
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Jim Gaffigan, Matt Rife, gab Iglesias, and Jerry Seinfeld. That's