Trump Rants, Maher Fires Back - Rogan Takes on Polls

0:01 Hey, I'm Johnny Mac with your daily comedy news. I got my iced coffee. I'm going to go vote. You want to shop in your car and you go listen to me riff some comedy headlines while you go vote. We will get political today since it is Election Day. Hey, remember, President Trump was upset with Bill Maher. The New York Times revealed that the meltdown about Bill Maher began aboard Air Force One. Let's take a second and take that in for a second. OK, you're there, you're on Air Force One, you're the president of the United States, and you're upset about Bill Maher. The New York Times reported an enraged Trump dictated the post to his devoted executive assistant, Natalie Harp, who typed it out on board the jet before posting it shortly after the president had returned to the White House. Part of the opinions the president of the United States shared was that Bill Maher is a, all caps, complete and total loser, claiming that the late night host is a major pothead. Well, Bill Maher has now responded back to the president of the United States and On Real Time with Bill Maher, Bill said, eating with Trump is like dating Taylor Swift. It's a lot of laughs at the time, but later on, they're tearing you a new a-hole. Bill Maher denied calling the president incessantly and also denied inviting himself to the White House.

1:19 Maher said, I've never called you. You call me. I'd be afraid to call you. You're the president. I think you're too busy. Well, plainly not. He invited himself to the White House as if you could do that. Fair point. As for accusations that Bill Maher is a major pothead, Bill Maher said, I guess the cat's out of the bag now, huh? Boy, that explains a lot. I thought I was just happy. He also commented on the president saying that Bill looked like hell this time. Bill had alcohol on his hand. Bill said that you gave me. However, Bill Maher found it funny that Trump's note had an unexpected twist, which was Bill Maher was friendly, I guess. Everybody walked away pleased. Some Taylor Swift fans were not happy that Bill Maher mentioned Taylor Swift's name. One person said, What a crappy thing to say. Why did you have to drag Taylor Swift into it? Come on, Bill. Another person said, She is a class act because she never mentions names. She used her artistry to process life. Yeah, I mean, no, she doesn't name names, but she has written a couple songs about people. Like, let's not act like she doesn't shade people. Come on. That same person said, Trump doesn't process anything, never learns, and never accepts responsibility.

2:27 He will throw everyone, all caps, under the bus, no matter who they are. Hey, this has nothing to do with anything we're talking about today. Do you ever see the movie Die Hard and Bruce Willis is getting attacked from all sides and then the cop downstairs starts getting involved in the thing and Bruce Willis says, welcome to the party, pal? Yeah, that's just a random thing I'm throwing out. On the Joe Rogan experience, Joe Rogan slammed polls as unreliable ahead of today's midterm elections. claiming that only effing stupid people with no social lives bother answering the polls. On the Joe Rogan experience, he and his guests, the guys from Trigonometry, was actually a really good episode. I listened to it on the plane on Sunday and enjoyed it a lot. The group was discussing a Pew Research Center survey in which Joe Rogan used an AI platform To summarize a discussion, Rogan fixated on how about 1% of the respondents who didn't answer a question, Rogan said, I'm in that group. That is the most intelligent group on earth. The about 1%, the 1% that will not answer polls. Joe continued, that was my take on polls always.

3:27 Here's the problem with polls. Most people don't answer polls. If somebody calls you up and says, I'd like a few moments of your time to ask you a few questions. F you. Anybody with a life, anybody that has like a family and stuff to do, hobbies they enjoy, friends they want to hang out with, they don't sit around answering some effing poll. So you're literally getting the opinion of people so effing stupid they answer polls. If there's an issue like 49% agree, that means that less than half the people that are so effing stupid they're answering polls agree with you. That's not good. Joe Rogan then discussed ice. No, not the stuff that keeps your drinks cold. The other ice. Joe Rogan said most people in this country don't like the idea of a militarized police force with no identification. Just pulling people over. It opens up a world of problems. It sets terrible precedents. Joe wondered if this tactic would be used by future administrations. Joe Rogan said you're allowed to have a militarized police force with masks on and they don't have any identification and they're snatching people up. And some of them happen to be American citizens. If you're supporting this because I got to crack a few eggs to make an omelet. OK, well, you just open up the effing hen house, said Rogan.

4:29 If you're allowing that and that's normalized in society, that's not good. Rogan said the thing that disappoints everybody who supported Trump before he got into office was one of his big things that everybody agreed with was no more war. Like, please, that sounds great. What Trump stood for, some of it turned out not to be real. Donald Trump was the 45th president of the United States. He served from January 20th, 2017 through January 20th, 2021. He is now the 47th president of the United States and has been in office since January 20th, 2025. Joe Rogan hosts the Joe Rogan Experience. John Oliver said, you can probably assume if things don't go Trump's way, he'll claim the election was rigged and do everything he can to undermine the results, which is a strong argument if you're turning up to vote this year, even in districts where you think your candidates are safe, The bigger the results for Democrats on Tuesday, the harder they'll be for Trump to litigate or deny. Look, Trump has said he wants people to pretend he's on the ballot this year, but I'm not sure people even need to pretend. We're now almost halfway through his second term.

5:27 He's had both the House and the Senate on his side the entire time. Look where it's got us. Finally, on Tuesday, we have a chance to apply some effing breaks. Whatever side you're on, that's fine. Go vote today, will ya? Russell Brand's lawyer has told the jury there is no evidence that Russell Brand is, quote, Some kind of psychopath who rapes people thinks it's normal. That was the closing argument. So in this next sentence, the word rapes is in quotes, but I want to just read it straight. So I'm not saying that the lawyer said, quote unquote, because he did not say, quote unquote. But the word rapes is basically in air quotes here. But Ian Winter Casey said the fact he behaved normally during and after all of those rapes tells you what you need to know. He believed they were all consenting. You have to be a psychopath to be raping someone and asking them if they were enjoying it at the same time. Rapists do not leave their address. Rapists do not leave their photographs. The lawyer told the court brand is innocent. Oh, my goodness. Here, the dad in me is going to lecture you. So TSA has touchless ID. You want to get in touchless ID.

6:30 So long story short, I was flying back from Los Angeles and I was supposed to be on one of the airlines and they kept delaying my flight. And I yelled at customer service. I'm like, come on, dude. And they're like, all right, we'll book you on this other airline. Okay, thank you. And then I had to switch from Terminal 7 to Terminal B. Somewhere along the way, Johnny Mac lost his wallet. No ID, no credit cards, no nothing. And I found this out by getting to check into my new flight. And I was like, I have lost my wallet. But I have... an AirTag in my wallet, but my wallet was now on the other side of TSA security, but I have no ID and can't get to my wallet. Luckily, I am enrolled in touchless ID, and eventually, after going from this security gate to that security gate, no, we don't have that. You have to go see the other guy, go talk to the other guy.

7:18 I did a lot of trips between Terminal B and Terminal 4 at LAX on Sunday, but eventually, a nice TSA agent said, oh, yeah, we can scan your face. And I was able to get on a plane and get home. Of course, though, the replacement flight was to Kennedy Airport and my car was at Newark Airport. So I had to travel from Kennedy Airport to Newark Airport. I got home at 1.30 in the morning. That's the condensed version of a very stressful Sunday for Johnny Mac. But the takeaway here for you is enroll in Touchless ID. It'll really help you out. So while I was doing all that, I missed the New York City Marathon. I love Marathon Day. I have ran the New York City Marathon twice in my life. I hope to get one more in before I get too old. This year, the Grand Marshal was Tracy Morgan. And this got me thinking.

8:08 I think the media likes Tracy Morgan a lot more than New Yorkers like Tracy Morgan. Like I get the Tracy Morgan goes to Knicks games, but they always put them on TV. And I don't think New Yorkers actually care for Tracy Morgan. I say that as somebody born and raised in New York City, somebody who has been on flights with Tracy Morgan screaming at his agent for a full two hour flight after the Super Bowl, flying back from Indianapolis to New York City. Tracy, you know, that's the thing that happened. We were both there. But the media loves Tracy Morgan. Here's some copy from WABC. Native New Yorker, sports superfan, and multi-hyphenate entertainer Tracy Morgan has been named Grand Marshal of the 2026 New York City Marathon. Morgan has built a career spanning television, film, and stand-up comedy. His credits include The Last O.G., What Men Want, The Longest Yard, Cop Out, Coming to America, Rio, and Rio 2, among others. Can I just point out to the copywriter, you might want to mention Saturday Night Live in there. Tracy Morgan has also headlined stand-up comedy tours and festivals across the country and internationally. His stand-up specials include Tracy Morgan Taking It Too Far, Tracy Morgan, Bonafide, and Black and Blue. Hey, remember SNL UK did Nigerian Wicked? Well, that has now broken out. At the time of this recording, it has over 7 million views on YouTube, making it the most watched clip in SNL UK history. And The Hollywood Reporter profiled Laura Ramoso, and they tell us whether you follow her or not. The image of Laura is

9:39 likely a familiar one of your feeds. She's a regular on TikTok and Instagram. for her character work, particularly impressions of her Italian father and German mother. Her fifth show is called Calm Down. She says, That's the motto I've adopted this year. It's not working, but it's nice to put it out there. She says, I think audience participation gets a bad rap from a history of really horrible examples. I try to foster an environment where you can say no if you don't want to, and people do, and I just move on. But I found 99% of the time people are open to what it could be gets exciting because then the crowd is like, ooh, we're all here together. My favorite thing about it is it can't be recreated. It's just for that specific audience. THR was curious.

10:23 Can you tell someone who's coming to your comedy via Instagram versus TikTok? She says, most of the tickets I sell are through Instagram and Facebook, and the vast majority of my audience through those platforms skew like 28 to 40. The differences that I do feel in my audiences are mostly geographical. But in my audience, you'll find mainly moms and daughters having a nice time together and boyfriends and husbands who have no idea who I am. And that is your comedy news for today. Go vote. Go vote. No, seriously. Go vote. Seriously? Go vote. See you tomorrow.